“Husband accused me of an affair” threads… not ATAAT but a question.

[CunningLinguist2]

Is @devoed okay? Threads disappeared & I am rooting hard for her & her kids against the KH.

I have been thinking of you too. No help I know, but I am sending love and strength to you. You have done so well and achieved so much. Keep on keeping on. Not long to go now.

Have also been thinking of you @Devoed, wishing you all the best

Same. Thinking of you.
Stay strong. Your kids need you to see him off.

So glad I found you.. Been following you and sending virtual support
Take care of yourself x

Also thinking of you @Devoed, you've got this!
Your ex knobhead couldn't be more obviously shite and you are clearly doing your best (which is more than good enough btw)!

Easier said than done I know, but don't waste your energy stressing beforehand.

You've got lots of us on here behind you. When you feel wobbly, take a few good, proper deep breaths, remember that we're all thinking of you, and carry on!
Yes, it's not right or fair, but you will get through it 🤗

Another one rooting for you here. Try not to worry although I know that's easier said than done. He might have been semi credible at the start but he has shown his true colours since and not just to you. Stay calm and truthful and you'll be fine. Like all knob heads, when he fails to get the reaction they want they do eventually lose interest.

Thank you, it means a lot.

I just don’t know how I’m going to get through it, I just start shaking at the thought of it.

Wishing you the very best.

Take deep breathes, look into box breathing. I couldn't have managed court without it.
Write notes and/or doodle: sounds silly but while you're listening and not able to speak giving yourself the job of writing notes focuses your brains and helps you to manage the overwhelming feelings.
Have someone with you, not in the court but for the waiting room.
Have a plan for when you get home- easy dinner, film, easy night. Then once the kids are in bed you can tell your parents or go and journal.
Wishing you all the luck! Just remember you're doing all this for your kids, you're doing the right thing.

Steady yourself for the week ahead @Devoed . You've shown so much strength so far and you're almost at the end of KH's bullshit. The shaking inside you is your power bubbling up inside you not weakness. We're all rooting for you lovely, good luck x 💖

All Women’s Strength to you next week.
He will almost certainly get criss or make loud interruptions, let him hang himself.
You are Boadicea. Eyes ahead & fighting for your DC & fairness.

“Cross”, (edit not working)

This is just the DRH rather than the final hearing, we’re a step closer but I’m just worried what that will look like.

Argh! I really hope things go well for you, Devoed. I’ve not commented before but have been reading in the distance wondering why KH is such a pillock, and why his mum facilitates his foolishness.

I just keep reading both our statements and thinking surely mine cannot be argued with. It’s just the unknown…it’s horrible that DC has asked for nothing to change too and that they’re happy.

I feel like I’m letting them down by not being able to promise them that.

I know it must be horrible to be waiting and wondering but honestly you have done everything right and KH has been an absolute prick. Try not to worry. Can you book some stuff in to keep yourself busy and unable to dwell on it? See friends, go to an exhibition or a museum, do something nice with DC.

It’s going to final hearing….added an extra night to his weekend, which was my suggestion.

Downside, Easter gets two blocks of three nights which means my time is divided into 3 lots of 4 nights due to how it falls and tying some time in with DSC. Something to keep in mind for the final hearing.

KH behaviour was poor. In again next week for finances, interesting to see if it’s the same judge.

Just wanted to cheer you on @Devoed. I can’t imagine how much stress and anxiety this is causing you

At least by it going to final hearing, I can say my piece. If they allow oral evidence, one side is requesting we don’t give any.

KH is requesting you don’t give oral evidence?

@CarpeVitam
Yes

Have you heard the saying Give A Man Enough Rope?. Took 4 years to get to our Final Hearing.. First day exh lost his cool and tried to punch me from the stand. Security were called...
The judge had finally seen the facade slipping...
Exh lost his case...
He lost interest in the dc soon after.
They stopped seeing him at 12 and 14...
Bloody rooting for you woman!!

On what grounds?

I thought oral evidence was standard at a final hearing.

I think they can say no to oral evidence if they don’t want to cause further hostility.

KH behaved poorly yesterday but nowhere near as bad as that @Thebigfellaisnowsnoozing!

I think reality might be hitting about DSC and DC schedules not aligning in terms of childcare, etc. I’m just not sure how to get around it. I’d like a right of first refusal putting in but it will be really odd for DC if I have them 9-5, it’s a lot of back and forth.

This is what I hate about KH lack of communication though, he just keeps saying he’s flexible due to being self employed but he still needs to work (and probably get a job).

We went to the final hearing being told clearly by thr judge that we would not be giving evidence. At the end of the first day the new judge said there was no way she could make a decision without both oarents giving evidence, final hearing went to a secind day a month later. Best decision. Ex went up and loved the spotlight got cocky and showed himself... mostly, but enough. So I really hope you both give evidence, he won't be able to keep his mask up and it will only help you. I know it will be nerve-wracking for you, but it will be worth it.