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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so fucking thankful I'm single?

256 replies

GlitzAndGigglesx · 26/12/2025 02:01

Been single for 9 years now. I love it. Left a DV relationship and find it hard to trust or build a bond with a man without them getting on my last fucking nerve. I'll be happy dying single. But my gosh the threads I've seen the past few days about people's partner's/husbands being lazy or miserable or ungrateful over this supposedly happy period reminds me how happy I am not having to deal with all that shit anymore

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 26/12/2025 02:03

Yanbu at all 😭😭😭

Mumsnet makes the marriage sounds like hell

Spooky2000 · 26/12/2025 02:04

Absolutely; completely feel the same as I mentioned on another thread. I'm not remotely interested in bad sex and worse relationships any more 😁😉❤️

Original poster
GlitzAndGigglesx · 26/12/2025 02:08

mumofoneAloneandwell · 26/12/2025 02:03

Yanbu at all 😭😭😭

Mumsnet makes the marriage sounds like hell

And all the "he's a great person and dad but hates our children" malarkey

OP posts:
Jonnyenglish · 26/12/2025 02:09

ill admit it is nice to be single, yes i miss the company at times but overall better me and the kettle

Original poster
GlitzAndGigglesx · 26/12/2025 02:09

Spooky2000 · 26/12/2025 02:04

Absolutely; completely feel the same as I mentioned on another thread. I'm not remotely interested in bad sex and worse relationships any more 😁😉❤️

No me either. The thought of entertaining a man in this lifetime knocks me sick

OP posts:
Original poster
GlitzAndGigglesx · 26/12/2025 02:11

Jonnyenglish · 26/12/2025 02:09

ill admit it is nice to be single, yes i miss the company at times but overall better me and the kettle

I don't 🤣 I used to but now I love having my own freedom

OP posts:
PixieDust91 · 26/12/2025 02:13

I am single as well, as of May, but I am pretty lonely and I really can't wait to find my person soon!

Altho I agree 100% with you. The amount of women complaining about their bum husbands on here the last week or so makes me astonished at how many women settled for the bare minimum, and put up with it for DECADE(s)!!!!

It took me 3ish years to see that my ex was manipulating me and lying to me about where our relationship was going (I wanted marriage/kids, he didn't but he strung me along) and I thought I was the buffoon for taking 3 years to see through his lies. But there's women here waiting longer than a decade in some cases for a ring.... I read a woman the other day say it took her's 25 YEARS to propose like 2 days ago.😭

Jonnyenglish · 26/12/2025 02:13

GlitzAndGigglesx · 26/12/2025 02:11

I don't 🤣 I used to but now I love having my own freedom

Show quote history

and no one saying where the pickle you been till this time of the night etc,

Greenwitchart · 26/12/2025 02:13

Agreed.

All these threads about lazy, useless or abusive men are so depressing to read. But ultimately remind me why I choose to be single.

Original poster
GlitzAndGigglesx · 26/12/2025 02:17

PixieDust91 · 26/12/2025 02:13

I am single as well, as of May, but I am pretty lonely and I really can't wait to find my person soon!

Altho I agree 100% with you. The amount of women complaining about their bum husbands on here the last week or so makes me astonished at how many women settled for the bare minimum, and put up with it for DECADE(s)!!!!

It took me 3ish years to see that my ex was manipulating me and lying to me about where our relationship was going (I wanted marriage/kids, he didn't but he strung me along) and I thought I was the buffoon for taking 3 years to see through his lies. But there's women here waiting longer than a decade in some cases for a ring.... I read a woman the other day say it took her's 25 YEARS to propose like 2 days ago.😭

I've never wanted marriage personally but yeah I agree with your post. Wish I got out sooner than I did so I can't fault women who find it hard to leave cause that was once me but I read so many threads on here and scream internally

OP posts:
Original poster
GlitzAndGigglesx · 26/12/2025 02:19

Greenwitchart · 26/12/2025 02:13

Agreed.

All these threads about lazy, useless or abusive men are so depressing to read. But ultimately remind me why I choose to be single.

Exactly. Especially when there's children involved

OP posts:
Raspberrymoon49 · 26/12/2025 02:19

Am with you OP, so many useless, immature men in this world and a frightening number of abusers, love my freedom

Icouldwriteabookonmydisastrouslife · 26/12/2025 02:21

I had a memory the other day that hit me of when my ex used to break up from work and would go to the pub and he literally wouldn’t be sober again til he went back to work after Christmas , which caused a lot of rows and him falling asleep drunk on Xmas day …

I don’t miss it !!! I feel relieved I don’t have to deal with that again and if i have to stay single to avoid men like this then I will .

My DD is a carer and she come home this morning telling me the story of how one of her service users adult Sons car being on the drive and she mentioned it and he said ohhh he must’ve come back and fell asleep , turns out the Son has a wife and kids and was probably in the dog house this morning . Me and DD did laugh together coz his Dad had no idea he was there so if the wife had rang and asked where her husband was , the Dad wouldn’t have had a clue even though the son actually was at the house 🤣🤣
This also made me glad to be single and not being let down by a man at Xmas !

Friendlygingercat · 26/12/2025 02:23

I agree 100% with most of the posters on this thread. Ive been single all my life (apart from a very brief marriage) and am child free by choice.

You can live alone without being lonely.

PixieDust91 · 26/12/2025 02:23

GlitzAndGigglesx · 26/12/2025 02:17

I've never wanted marriage personally but yeah I agree with your post. Wish I got out sooner than I did so I can't fault women who find it hard to leave cause that was once me but I read so many threads on here and scream internally

Show quote history

I just can't imagine staying for 10+ YEARS hoping for a proposal. I was getting so impatient around the 1.5-2 year mark.... these women have the patience of a saint apparently lmao

What sad is when they have kids with these losers. The poor children have to suffer.

UncannyFanny · 26/12/2025 02:30

I think it shows just how many women are single on MN. So many threads you open the bitterness, venom and hatred of men is palpable. One can only hope that endless narrative that all men are this and all men are that is not being drummed into children’s heads the way it flows so readily from the keyboards of their mothers. It’s actually quite sad. Cue the personal attacks for not spewing bile and having a negative opinion of men…

Jonnyenglish · 26/12/2025 02:34

UncannyFanny · 26/12/2025 02:30

I think it shows just how many women are single on MN. So many threads you open the bitterness, venom and hatred of men is palpable. One can only hope that endless narrative that all men are this and all men are that is not being drummed into children’s heads the way it flows so readily from the keyboards of their mothers. It’s actually quite sad. Cue the personal attacks for not spewing bile and having a negative opinion of men…

the problem is men in general prove whats on mumsnet, so yes not all men, but certainly a good percentage etc

Penisbeakeralltheclassics · 26/12/2025 02:57

I’d rather be single than with an idiot. There are good, walking, talking, thoughtful men, but they don’t appear to be the majority!

Meadowfinch · 26/12/2025 02:58

I've been single for 8 years. I miss an intimate physical relationship, but my word, life is so much easier without a resident man.

Home is happier
Food is healthier
Holidays are more relaxed
Everything gets done faster
Very little moaning
No criticism
MUCH better financially
Nothing gets broken
No toxic relatives. Mine see each other twice a year, enjoy that, but don't push for more so easy to get on with.

I'm sure there are lovely men out there (I have a son who is lovely) but most men are puzzingly, and definitely lazy.

TealSapphire · 26/12/2025 03:03

I'm thankful every single day!

The amount of boring, lazy, incompetent, unattractive middle aged men who expect to be adored for what? Existing?

Imagine growing old with them 🤢

Sighohbarn · 26/12/2025 03:11

I'm brand new to being single. I have been happily married for nearly 30 years - or so I thought. 6 weeks ago my husband left me for someone else. We weren't rowing or distant and cold. We were a happy family. I still have whiplash. But... I already know I won't ever look for someone new. It's been hard to reimagine life without the man I thought was my best friend, but he has been so cruel and hurtful that I would never take him back (not that he's asking!) and it's even harder to imagine some other bloke in my home. Ewww. Nope. No thank you. Me, my kids, and the cat. And then, in time, me and the cat. That's me done.

MamsKnit · 26/12/2025 03:19

Jonnyenglish · 26/12/2025 02:09

ill admit it is nice to be single, yes i miss the company at times but overall better me and the kettle

What do you do with the kettle? Is kettle a code word for something else? And where can I buy me such a magic kettle?

Penisbeakeralltheclassics · 26/12/2025 03:22

TealSapphire · 26/12/2025 03:03

I'm thankful every single day!

The amount of boring, lazy, incompetent, unattractive middle aged men who expect to be adored for what? Existing?

Imagine growing old with them 🤢

Adored for existing. Love it 😂

MamsKnit · 26/12/2025 03:26

UncannyFanny · 26/12/2025 02:30

I think it shows just how many women are single on MN. So many threads you open the bitterness, venom and hatred of men is palpable. One can only hope that endless narrative that all men are this and all men are that is not being drummed into children’s heads the way it flows so readily from the keyboards of their mothers. It’s actually quite sad. Cue the personal attacks for not spewing bile and having a negative opinion of men…

All the women on here can’t all be bitter and unhinged. All the statistics out there in the real world that reveal a pandemic of male violence against women can’t be made up. If men don’t like what’s being said about them they need to do something to change the narrative. And quick.

Sj07 · 26/12/2025 03:26

Single. Also NC with mum. Low contact with dad. It's literally just me and 2 dc. Sometimes I feel a bit sad that they don't get the big family Christmas like other kids. But reading recent threads I'm feeling quite grateful that it's just us 3. Two teenagers, similar movie/music interests, enjoy the same snacks, like the same board games. We also have Chinese takeaway for Christmas dinner every year as I work nightshift over Christmas. The whole day is very chilled out, peaceful, low maintenence. I've had two friends on phone/text tonight venting about their parents, partners, inlaws etc. I've had a really lovely, chilled out day. My dc always work together to pick me a present that they know I'll love, even at 14 and 15 they still make me handmade cards because they know I prefer them. I'm feeling extra grateful for it all tonight.