Husband decided he’s not coming to my family’s for Christmas just because he wants a day to himself at home.

[Puggymummy19]

Aibu to make him come?!
he says he can’t be bothered with the chaos, kids and just wants to be alone at home.
he’s not depressed or anything like this just being anti social.
would you care?
to add we only live round the corner, I said please just come for the dinner at least but won’t even do that

Haha! So much this.

I said what I think. Too many people are running around doing the total opposite of what they really want to do. I don't know how the OP intends to make him go either.

Honestly no he’s great at conversation, if anything gets them going, very socialable around people, but does very much enjoy down time and being home alone with just me and daughter.

To me it is all part of marriage and parenting so I’d be pissed off if he didn’t make an effort.

He’s a selfish arsehole and that’s the long and short of it really.

Would he be happy taking your child to his parents and letting you have a relaxing day alone on Christmas Day? No, thought not.

People defending him need to give it a rest - if you can’t put your family first on Christmas Day you’re a selfish pig and don’t deserve a family. If he wants it to just be the three of you that’s fair enough but tell him you can do that next year, dropping it on you on Christmas Eve as a fait accompli is a dick move.

They sound quite annoying!

Anyway DH should definitely go, it's only one day a yr.

Sorry I missed that there's NOT loads of moaning!

I agree. Op he’s an adult and can decide where he wants to go. You’ll be with family so won’t they help you with the kids? They’ll be busy playing with their new toys all day I bet

I must admit I don't blame him. I wouldn't want to spend Christmas day with someone else's extended family/the in-laws either. Why are you not spending it at home with him (and your child?) You could pop to see 'family' for an hour, but why do you need to spend the day at someone else's house?

I think that it is rude not to attend a family Christmas social gathering.

Look at his actions

These are not the actions of a loving husband, father, brother in law

Has he had his head turned by someone or something else ?

Yes it’s not that I need help. She never needs me and is busy having fun. It’s more why can’t he just suck it up and do what ‘normal’ families do on Christmas Day! I’m all for a lazy Christmas Eve / Boxing Day.

This is UTTER arse.

Got someone else on the go, Torn about leaving.

I don’t blame him, my husbands at his families house with one of the kids right now, it will be chaos, there has already been three arguments, his parents have already left in a strop as people weren’t appropriately celebrating Jesus.

I’m sat at home, with a non-alcholic beer and a little snack in peace and quiet, my husbands view is that he would dodge it if he could, so he won’t make another adult experience it. When my mums over in a few weeks he gets to book his quiet sanity retaining slot too.

It's a matter if opinion if it's the OP's husband who is selfish...

There are many a post on here where women don't want to go to or have their MIL/ILS visiting and its seen as being fine, your DH is just expressing the same view.

Does he have extended family, if so do you ever spend the day with them?

Careful, you will put your back out with all that reaching....... 🙄

Could he be wishing he was with someone else and doesn't want to fake Christmas with you /your family?
My exh never saw us at Christmas because he was married to the pub.

No ow because he was a Class A twat.

I can imagine it’s a bit annoying to never have had Christmas at home, or with his family, why haven’t you?

On the face of it I agree with him. I don’t want a large family Christmas either. For some of us a happy Christmas is a quiet one at home. I do however think it’s a bit rude to cancel at such short notice and I’d be a bit concerned about what’s caused this sudden change of heart.

I’d be upset that my husband didn’t want to spend Christmas with me and our kids and that he wasn’t up for a Joyful, fun day.

is he quite rigid and prefers his own space? There’s nothing wrong with that but it needs to be planned differently rather than just opting out last minute. My own father wouldn’t have been coaxed from his house on Christmas Day to spend it following someone else’s plans in a chaotic house in a million years. So he always hosted the most brilliant and fun Christmas in his own space. Works well. Would he do that next year?

My daughter would be gutted and it’s just us three every other day so can see why he can’t just come for one day.
i don’t have cousins, just my brothers and sisters and their kids, so all people he knows well and not random people he is forced to socialise with once a year

Projecting much.......... 🙄

But it’s not though. Why force him to go somewhere he doesn’t want to go? Op wants to see family and spend the day there and her husband wants to stay home. Stop forcing people to do things because it’s Christmas