To have not lied to DS about trans actor in Last Christmas?

[DungOnATwig]

Watching above with DD17 (lesbian) and DS11 (straight) earlier today. One scene where a female presenting (long hair + fake eyelashes) but clearly biologically male actor plays a doctor (just Dr). DS says "that......lady sounds like a man".

I said yeah it is a man love. A man who identifies as a sex they are not.

DD paused then typed a wee bit more furiously than usual for 30 secs but then was ok. She knows tbf. She's lesbian and not pan.

It was so distilled down to me at the point of his very innocent (and tentative so as not to offend question) that I am not prepared to lie to my kid about the fucking fundamentals of life and tell them that person is a woman. Fuck that.

Merry Christmas 🍷

Also FUCK THAT FILM 😭😭😭😭😭

Well you clearly have an ideology!
some people would just prefer to live and let live

I would try to find out why and urge them to seek help, certainly wouldn’t tell them to go away and never darken my door again!

My mum has dementia and is increasingly racist. It’s embarrassing as hell but I’m not going to cut her off for it.

Sometimes, of course. If I had a child who was an unrepentent convicted paedophile I would side with those who despise paedophiles and not my unrepentent convicted paedophile child.

But more than that I think that truth will always matter and truth must always win. I believe that my relationships with my kids need protecting long term, and short term lies to keep short term peace would undermine my long term attempts.

Also, I would regard myself as an utter failure as a parent if my child claimed that sex is not real and / or does not matter.

So are some females. But fwiw I experienced SA from actual men that weren't trans. I believe that if someone feels strongly that they are the wrong sex and goes through the horrendous surgery to achieve it they fully deserve to be called a woman. A man that just dresses like a woman is a drag artist. They've always been around.

To be explicitly clear - I do not complain about the existence of anyone who makes the claim that they are trans. I might complain that I want nothing to do with them (as is my right as an individual) or that I think public display or paraphilia is wrong, or that I believe gender dysphoria to be mental illness and to demand affirmation is to demand one's MH issues go untreated, but I do not complain about the existence of anyone who makes the claim that they are trans.

I think I would have put it a bit more neutrally than you did!

In fact I do when talking to my DS11.

I’m really not sure that an 11 yo knows they are straight (or gay) either - they may have an idea of what preference will grow up to have, but going from my 17 yo, it isn’t as simple as always knowing what you’ll be in every case.

Edit - so I might say “that person was born as a male, but some people feel that they are a different sex/ gender to the one they were born, and live their lives in that way, and that’s OK” - because it is. However we want to divide public spaces etc some people feel that way, and it’s OK that they do.

Are they still children? You may find that as they become adults, they develop their very own opinions, as ours did. We disagree about some things, which is perfectly healthy.
That adults should have to continue to go along with their parents beliefs or risk being “alienated” by them, as another poster put it, is far from healthy. I’d call it shocking and bordering upon coercion.

So one day they are a drag artist, the next they have it cut off and they become a woman?

Well how sad for your kids that they have such an intolerant mother .

I daresay theyll alienate you first with that attitude.

And in 10-15 years time we'll see a post "dont know why my adult DC dont bother with me"

You’d cut your children off, if they identified as trans?

"Cut it off"

Youre fucking rancid.

She'd be doing them a favour

I hope this hill shes dying on keeps her company in her latter years when she's inevitably alone.

I just can’t understand such a rigid mindset.

I know.

Reminds you of the parents who abandoned their gay children dying of aids doesnt it?

Beggars belief

How do you feel about the 90% of transwomen that retain their penis? Do they also fully deserve to be called a woman?

Yes, it does. That was a terrible period.

She’s very obviously said not?

I can't believe that you are so naive as not to understand that no shows "happen to have a trans actor" - they have a trans actor because the Director / writer / producer wish to push an ideology that I reject absolutely.

I hate TV or film that grates due to wokeness.

TV that involves Trans actors is TV that is pushing the ideology. That is the reality.

If there was a TV show about Roman London and there was a character who happened to be a black slave, or black soldier or ordinary black Roman I would have no issue.

But when I see Upper Class Georgian society portrayed as 30% black, or Roman Britian portrayed as a very mixed race society with loads of black native Brits it grates.

If I was aware that the latest hot new BBC crime drama was written by a white racist ethno-nationalist then I would avoid partly because I despise the BBC, and partly because I don't intend to support white racist ethno-nationalists, and partly because it is my assumption that white racist ethno-nationalists are not great screenwriters.

Why would you think that? You see womanhood as 'reward' for suffering or taking extreme action or something? That strikes me as very strange. Being a woman is a biological state. It's not a prize.

I wouldn’t because I’m old enough to know that once children reach early adulthood, they’re far more likely to listen to many more people and ideas than just us or ours. They’re individuals. If they reach different conclusions to us about various things, that hardly makes us failures.

As for the paedophile scenario, I would be repulsed and want them away from society. I would not cut them off, though, no.

and then everybody clapped

So where do people draw the line in treating some men as women?

Is it if they have gender recognition certificate stating they are legally a woman ? - that doesn't require surgery or hormones.

Or is it some other measure?

I was talking generally, not about my children.

If I had a child who claimed to be trans and claimed to believe in gender ideology then I would be deeply unimpressed unless they were able to use logic reason and compassion to describe what it is to be trans and why gender ideology is a good thing (and based on 6 years of never evrer seeing anyone come close to defining trans in a meaningful way or explaining why TQ+ ideology is anything other than incoherent evil, I would fully expect them to fail).

I would tell them that they have a sexed body, they were not born in the wrong body, that trans is nothing more that the claim to be "trans", and that gender ideology is evil, and that if they support it they are homophobic, misogynistic, anti-safeguarding and pro child sterilisation based on false medical ideas. If they were unable to understand my viewpoint and recognize it's unbiased truth there'd be a problem.

I would never wish to cut them off.

Not naive at all. It simply doesn’t bother me one way or the other. Neither does colour blind casting, don’t really notice it. A performance is good or it isn’t.

I’m afraid people tend to lose me at “wokeness”.

OP I won’t lie either to DD16. I would have done the same thing. I find this identity stuff completely boundary breaking and homophobic.