To have not lied to DS about trans actor in Last Christmas?

[DungOnATwig]

Watching above with DD17 (lesbian) and DS11 (straight) earlier today. One scene where a female presenting (long hair + fake eyelashes) but clearly biologically male actor plays a doctor (just Dr). DS says "that......lady sounds like a man".

I said yeah it is a man love. A man who identifies as a sex they are not.

DD paused then typed a wee bit more furiously than usual for 30 secs but then was ok. She knows tbf. She's lesbian and not pan.

It was so distilled down to me at the point of his very innocent (and tentative so as not to offend question) that I am not prepared to lie to my kid about the fucking fundamentals of life and tell them that person is a woman. Fuck that.

Merry Christmas 🍷

Also FUCK THAT FILM 😭😭😭😭😭

Bloody hell. Can't you people take a bloody day off?! 😂😂

They would probably take that choice away from you, tbh.

And a man who goes through "horrendous surgery" is still a man. He can be a transwoman, I guess. But he will still be a man.

And nobody "deserves" to be a man or a woman. They just are.

But if my children went along with any other harmful ideas, like racism or homophobia, then over time, as they became established adults, they have to take the full consequences of their beliefs and actions. Trans ideology is a harmful viewpoint. If my children, as say 30 year olds, supported men in women’s spaces and sports and puberty blockers etc, it would be difficult to continue a relationship, just like if they held harmful racist views.

What is the difference between my beliefs since being a teenager (LGB rights matter, women's rights (sex based by definition) matter, treating people differently because of their skin colour is wrong) and your belief in wokeness, in your opinion?

That particular poster made it clear that they believe after surgery. Just thought they’d made that view obvious.

Because according to the TRAs a lesbian who won't be in a 'lesbian' relationship with a transwoman (with a 'lady penis') is being transphobic and is subject to online abuse and death threats.

And that isn't hyperbole, it's happened. A lot more than once.

How would they know if a man had had genital surgery or not.

If my kids cut me off for believe that sex is real and matters, and that misogyny and homophobia are wrong, then I am afraid I will have to deal with it.

I will regard myself as an utter failure as a parent if so.

Sorry, probably being dense. I’m not sure what your question is?

As soon as I read wokeness, it puts me very much in mind of Nigel Farage, for example and his followers. That’s usually enough for me to dismiss that person’s opinions and I lose any interest in their arguments.

That’s your right.

Ask?

You’re entitled to your point of view. I just don’t agree with you, which is fine.

You find a man in the womans changing room and you would think it sensible and appropriate to ask about his genitals?

I believe (and always have) that LGB rights matter, women's rights (sex based by definition) matter, and that treating people differently because of their skin colour is wrong.

I despise "wokeness" and I despise Farage.

Can you think why I believe all of the above?

What do you think I think "wokeness" means, and what do you think it means?

I think it depends on the film/series and the writer/director. In the series Sense8 a trans character played by a trans actor is in a ‘lesbian’ relationship, and the sex scenes are very much a male fantasy of lesbian sex, featuring strap-on dildos and lots of rapturous screaming. It’s written by the Wachowski ‘sisters’ and whilst most of the series is interesting and entertaining, there are clear TRA themes running through it. There are other trans writers & directors that don’t push a TRA agenda in their work.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2431438/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk

That sort of thing led to one Scottish nurse being disciplined. And another woman being banned from all her council leisure facilities for a year.

Also, may I suggest that the world is complex and nuanced and that jumping from reading the word "wokeness" to thinking of Nigel Farage and his followers is an illogical jump.

It is also insane to think that dismissing the views of 30% of the country (even if many of them have some very odd or bad ideas) is going to lead us anywhere good.

You are right to explain that actor started life as a male - I like to be honest as well - but the "being someone they are not" is offensive to trans people and their loved ones. That is nót explaining the facts to your 11 year old, it is interpreting them and thus imprinting on your son. I would've said something like " he felt being a woman and decided to transition". Then wait for your 11 year old to process this information and start asking more questions.

He will be a male his whole life start to end, and every day in between, not just at the start. We need to stop lying and twisting the truth to children. No wonder so many are confused, when the adults they rely on promote invalid and harmful ideologies, in some misguided pursuit on kindness. It’s really not kind to do this to your children.

No man can "transition" to being a woman. He can present as a woman, or pretend he's a woman, but there's no changing or trasitioning sex.

But there's no such thing as men 'transitioning to women' as humans can't change sex.

Telling the truth is more important than not offending your daughter. Your response was perfectly respectful, imo!

What, you think it's appropriate for women to go up to random men and ask them if they've retained or removed their penis? Seriously?

Well, there's hardly an embargo on sexist or racist actors. I think it's a shame to normalise sexism and racism but you do you.