To have not lied to DS about trans actor in Last Christmas?

[DungOnATwig]

Watching above with DD17 (lesbian) and DS11 (straight) earlier today. One scene where a female presenting (long hair + fake eyelashes) but clearly biologically male actor plays a doctor (just Dr). DS says "that......lady sounds like a man".

I said yeah it is a man love. A man who identifies as a sex they are not.

DD paused then typed a wee bit more furiously than usual for 30 secs but then was ok. She knows tbf. She's lesbian and not pan.

It was so distilled down to me at the point of his very innocent (and tentative so as not to offend question) that I am not prepared to lie to my kid about the fucking fundamentals of life and tell them that person is a woman. Fuck that.

Merry Christmas 🍷

Also FUCK THAT FILM 😭😭😭😭😭

Indeed

Personally I don't live having ideology rammed down my throat, full stop, but more so when it is an ideology that I despise. I feel like gender ideology is being constantly rammed down my throat, so I will reject it 100%.

Secondly, by definition, a "trans actor" (let's assume FtM but obvs it works the other way as well) is going to be -

(1) a woman playing a male character

or
(2) a woman playing a trans'man' character

Either which was I am not interested in tv or film with trans characters, nor made by the sorts of people who wish to make tv or film with trans characters, nor tv or films which are confusing (because we don't know whether the character is supposed to be a masculine woman, a man, or a trans'man').

This person was simply playing the role of a doctor. It's not that deep.

"nbow lives as a woman" is a massive lie though. No man lives as a woman.

My kids risk alienating me if they ever claim men can be women and therefore that women's and LGB rights don't matter.

If you’re bored with my points, which you obviously can’t answer, then maybe don’t quote me. 😂 You’re not bored though, you just don’t want to be challenged.

I disagree. Im a woman with two adult daughters and we all disagree. Its just not a problem for us. Its shocking to me to see the endless “look at me I hate and fear trans people” posts on mumsnet. Its like hearing about people who are afraid of brown haired or blue eyed people. Its just an absurd rage about nothing.

The OP was the sort of performative “then they all clapped” crap mumsnet hates on any ither topic than trans stuff. Let OP tell her child whatever she wants? Who gives a fuck. She will come whining back in a few years when some people in her social circle or her gay daughter cut her off because they are trans or they love their trans friends more than they enjoy her spiteful company. Then she will be all “poor poor pitiful me.”

God its so tedious! Aren’t there real world problems in your universe? In mine there are! Abortion rights. Immigrant’s rights. Civil rights. Climate change. Women’s rights. Children’s rights. Trans people don’t pick my picket or take my rights. But I can tell you who do: billionaires, fascists, misogynists, evangelicals, trumpets, reform, neo nazis, and the sex police.

Well said.

Were they playing a male doctor or female doctor? Was the doctor supposed to be trans?

My position is not deep - sex matters and I am not watching TV or film with trans characters.

To be fair, the OP's daughter may be a new style lesbian who sleeps with trans women. Some women do call themselves lesbians and still say TWAW. I'm not saying I agree with them, but they do exist.

Good god! You’d put your beliefs above your relationships with your children?!

While playing at being a woman.

I now the actor in question has now ben identifed and is trans but I'm not clear why you couldn't just say 'yes it's a man. Some men choose to have long hair and fake eyelashes' why turn it into a trans issue. We have gone so far backwards in terms of gender stereotyping. In the 80's lots of men had long hair and wore make up. They weren't trying to be women.

Some of the comments on this thread are harmful to the GC cause, because they are actually proving the TRAs' point. It's one thing to not want trans people in spaces designed for the opposite sex. It's quite another to complain about their very existence.

Totally agree with this

This. Can’t believe someone would miss out on plays, films, tv because they happen to have a trans actor.
Do they apply the same to all of the arts and literature and avoid anything created by anyone whose views/opinions/ideology you disagree with?
That would result in a very empty life indeed.

Or is it just trans-people they object to?

You’re doing your kids harm if you are willing to go along with trans ideology. I refuse to do my children harm. I wouldn’t tell my daughter she was overweight if she was underweight, just because it was what she wanted to hear. It may please her short term, she may want me to help her reduce calories, exercise more etc, but it would damage her. We engage in reality and facts in our house.

You don’t think alienating your children because they didn’t share their views would harm them?

The reality in our family is that our (adult) kids are far more important to us than differing opinions or ideologies.

I haven’t seen this point made here before.

Why is being transgender considered homophobic? Because it’s like trying to avoid same sex relationships through changing your gender?

I'm sure there are limits to that though. What about if your child voiced extremely racist views for example?

Your kids deserve better if you'd be happy to distance yourself for this. You're so far beyond unreasonable that you can't even see reasonable from that distance.

When was it, exactly, that agreeing to differ became a thing of the past? People are entitled to different opinions about things, surely?

Happy to be challenged but the same arguments daily are just so dull. There's far bigger fish to fry than a trans actor playing a doctor. Heaven forbid.

Where do you get all this ‘hate and fear’ from?

Funny how you’re allowed to hate misogynist ideologies like the theocracies that imprisoned women for having out of wedlock, or that ban women from learning or receiving healthcare, but you’re not allowed to hate the ideology that tells children their bodies are wrong and must be sterilised, that women must get undressed in front of men if the men want them to, that lesbians are bigots if they do not want to have sex with males, that female prisoners must be put in cells with violent male rapists if these men claim that they are women. Seems perfectly reasonable to fear men who use transgenderism to access women and children. Men fear that women will laugh at them; women fear that men will kill them.

It’s not the confused or rebellious trans-identifying people that are the object of hate, but the misogynistic, homophobic transgenderism ideology.

My children know I love them and trust that anything I do would be because it is best for them. We discuss issues, like this one. Because my points are based on facts and I’ve addressed the harm trans ideology does, whilst showing sympathy for their friends going through gender identity issues, explaining that they have those issues due to horrible stereotyping, which is at the core of trans ideology, they don’t feel alienated. Honest conversations, listening to each other, critical thinking skills, kindness, biological knowledge etc, all of which my children and I have, mean these conversations can be had without bad feeling.