Page 18 | To feel like I don’t like men anymore

Dogsinsantasuits · 2025-12-23T21:38:50+00:00

Not as in not attracted to them, although I am less bothered these days It’s almost like i’m coming to a realisation that most (not all) are not great and women are infinitely stronger people. Is this an age thing-late 40’s? Sad as I used to really like men. Now all I see around me is amazing women with men who aren’t a patch on them or dangerous and/or perverted men in the news.

JHound · 30/12/2025 19:13

GaIadriel · 29/12/2025 20:04

A whole post to inform me you have nothing to say to me? 🤣

Bit ironic to criticise my critical thinking whilst admitting that you're entirely unaware of any of the studies/data I'm discussing.

You say you wouldn't quote anything without doing thorough research first. Personally, I wouldn't argue with somebody quoting well known facts and data without making a point of doing some research myself. Otherwise you end up sounding a bit like a flat earther lol.

I almost pointed out that somebody will soon be along to give the 'reasons' women abuse more children than men but I thought I'd wait for the inevitable.

It's a well known dynamic that people will often rush to rationalise the actions of women when they're violent. I've thought before now that's it's likely a form of innate sexism whereby we view women as meek and docile and therefore incapable of horrific acts.

I can think of plenty of reasons why women would commit the majority of child abuse. However, nobody is waxing lyrical on the reasons why men commit the majority of violence, despite there being many many studies on the effects of hormones and evolution, so it seemed a bit surplus to requirements.

The reason why posters want to rationalise female violence and condemn male violence is indicative of their own personal bias. It's quite clear when you're a normal person who judges people as individuals rather than based on their race/sex/class etc.

Yes, men murder a lot more women than the reverse, but when you consider that there are 34 million men in this country, 84 committing femicide is a tiny proportion. I don't understand why people on here think it's a gotcha to continually reference stats showing that over 99.9% of men don't murder their partners. It's bizarre!

Show quote history

It’s not “rationalising” it’s statistics 101.

You need to control for all confounding variables. Your data on women having higher rates of abuse without controlling for men being far more absent from women’s lives is an example
of a simplistic way of trying to navigate data.

GaIadriel · 30/12/2025 19:18

JHound · 30/12/2025 19:13

It’s not “rationalising” it’s statistics 101.

You need to control for all confounding variables. Your data on women having higher rates of abuse without controlling for men being far more absent from women’s lives is an example
of a simplistic way of trying to navigate data.

Show quote history

Yeah, but my point is that nobody's trying to 'navigate the data' when they talk about men committing the majority of violent crime. It's just used to moan about them without any thought given to the underlying reasons.

JHound · 30/12/2025 19:21

GaIadriel · 29/12/2025 20:30

I think a big factor in the problems we see is that women often rely on men whilst men are usually capable of managing on their own when it comes to the crunch.

Ironically, the best solution to this might actually be equality but in a different context to the usual meaning. If women focused on trying to contribute financially as much as possible, pushing their career again once the kids are at school rather than going permanently PT, we'd see less of the power imbalance and less stories about women 'being left penniless after supporting him to maximise his earning potential for years'.

It's the elephant in the room on here but for every tough talking feminist there's at least five women working part time or in a non-career job and relying on their husband as the main earner.

Many of these women could've prioritised their career again once the kids were older but the truth is that many don't want to once the family income is sufficient and they tell themselves it's OK because 'hubby loves his job'.

The reality is that spending your life sitting at a desk isn't actually all that empowering and a lot of women only do it for financial security or to compete with men. Many also find that their priorities change and they become more family focused. That's perfectly understandable and likely partly related to biology but the truth is you can't have your cake and eat it.

It's one thing to moan but how many women would agree to a 50/50 maternity/paternity split and agree to go back to full time work and be 100% focused on maximising their earning potential once the kids are at school? I think it'd be like the recent conscription debates where many women talk the talk but then excuse themselves when the time comes for an equal split.

Women go PT as agreed among a couple.

Much as you believe most women have male partners who will agree to change their work style to commit to fully 50% of childcare and 50% of domestic labour most will not.

Hence why in families with young children the couple will almost agree that one party needs to step back.
Especially in families without money or desire for Nannies (not everybody wants strangers looking after their kids.)

You seem unable to grasp the extra work kids bring probably because it is primarily done by women

JHound · 30/12/2025 19:25

GaIadriel · 30/12/2025 19:18

Yeah, but my point is that nobody's trying to 'navigate the data' when they talk about men committing the majority of violent crime. It's just used to moan about them without any thought given to the underlying reasons.

Show quote history

It’s not “navigating the data”.

It’s statistics 101.

Men abuse children at higher rates that woman when proximity is controlled for. Your argument is stupid. I

There is no confounding variable that you can control for that would show women are more violent than men.
Not one.

JHound · 30/12/2025 19:32

GaIadriel · 30/12/2025 03:32

Definitely, absolutely, 100% voluntary. Gotcha. 😂

But joking aside I do suspect that with at least some of these women that hate men so much it's just bitter grapes. Like the blokes that see a guy revving a lambo down the street and are like "nah, I wouldn't want to be a poser like that". They somehow never get triggered by a ford mondeo tho. It's a definite case of they doth protest too much IMO.

So, when you see all these women so vehemently claiming they don't want a man you do sometimes wonder if it's just a coping mechanism. Obviously NACWALT (Not All Celibate Women Are Like That) but I think some probs are. It's why you hear them banging on about handmaids and how women become invisible at a certain age. It's like a coping mechanism to remind themselves that one day the attractive women won't have the social status they command right now.

I'm a bit tipsy atm so should probs try and avoid getting told off by the mods or causing anyone to have a mardy, but when you see some of these women in real life it kinda all makes sense. When I was studying there were some women from the gender studies class in one of my modules. Some were normal (at least in appearance) but there were more than the fair share of blue haired ogres with loads of piercings etc. Some of them seemed really aggro, especially when a bloke dared speak up, and you'd defo not want to play patriarchy chicken with most of them without the benefit of proper riot gear.

It's just a chicken and egg question of whether they ended up as radicalised feminists because of how they looked or whether they looked that way post feminism due to rejecting standard beauty ideals. Either way, they didn't seem like very much fun. Frowning is meant to burn more calories than smiling so it was odd how they were all so far from size zero lol.

Show quote history

It is a rare woman who could not find a shag if she wanted one so I don’t see why you struggle to comprehend a woman can be celibate through choice.Not everybody is as obsessed as getting laid as you (a misogynist male on a female majority board.)

And your assertion that any woman who stridently believes in equal rights for women (“feminists”) is ugly is mindboggling stupid.

It’s akin to claiming black civil rights activists only fought for equality because they were ugly.

Dumb. As. F….

JHound · 30/12/2025 19:39

GaIadriel · 30/12/2025 13:37

But the women who harp on about how 'men hate us' whilst simultaneously saying they have a blanket dislike of men are kinda hypocritical. It seems to me that they just have a certain level of self righteousness whereby they believe that their feelings are justified but the men that feel the same way are simply misogynists.

It's because they genuinely believe the simplistic theories they read about the patriarchy etc and don't understand that real life is much more nuanced. It's easy nowadays to surround yourself with people that have the same selective outlook and it's clear that many think they speak for women in general when reality the vast majority of women in this country reject modern feminism. There are lots of studies that evidence this.

Show quote history

I don’t care about men hating women if they chose to display it the same way women who hate men do: by simply not dating us.

Unfortunately men who hate women still want romantic partnerships / sex with women which is where the problems start.

Look at you - a clearly misogynist man but still obsessed with women to the extent you are spending the Christmas holidays on female dominated board.

It’s honestly quite sad.

(Also the point about women not seeing themselves as feminists really is unimportant. Yes when asked if they consider themselves feminists most women say “no”. But when asked whether agree in gender equality most say yes. That’s what matters the most.
A belief in gender equality. Not what label they give to it)

Eagleswim · 30/12/2025 19:46

JHound · 30/12/2025 19:21

Women go PT as agreed among a couple.

Much as you believe most women have male partners who will agree to change their work style to commit to fully 50% of childcare and 50% of domestic labour most will not.

Hence why in families with young children the couple will almost agree that one party needs to step back.
Especially in families without money or desire for Nannies (not everybody wants strangers looking after their kids.)

You seem unable to grasp the extra work kids bring probably because it is primarily done by women

Show quote history

Men fully grasp the amount of work kids bring. That's one of many reasons men are pretty resistant to have kids. It's definately women who play down the drawbacks of children.... Until 30 seconds after the second one is born.

And in my circle of friends there's is never a calm discussing about going PT. It's either delived as a fait accomplis (typical) or a ton of emotional blackmail is employed. I can't think of a single male acquaintance who wants his wife to be PT no sane person would want to live on a fraction of the normal double income. Again, if women calmly and dispassionately brought all this up pre-conception most blokes would say "Actually I don't want children that badly, let's just keep going with the expensive holidays and the terrific hobbies.".

TBH that's why I think it's quite healthy that women are so open about their dislike of men. It's much easier to avoid commitment if you can point to threads like this. Very hard for one woman to claim she will enjoy being committed for life when all the others are saying they go off men when they mature and realize how awful men are. Ditto the Ick. 20 years ago very few men realized women randomly went off sex with their husbands. (Perhaps it was joked about in changing rooms and male spaces but seeing it spelled out from the horses mouth is far more helpful.)

Eagleswim · 30/12/2025 19:51

Unfortunately men who hate women still want romantic partnerships / sex with women which is where the problems start.

And women who hate men start families with men! It's easy to walk away after a few dates. It's very hard to walk away after kids and/or marriage. That literally what commitment means. It means staying long after you really want to.

Dating is harmless. In contrast you can see from this thread how miserable LTRs with men can make women. (And men.)

FlockOfSausages · 30/12/2025 20:05

Eagleswim · 30/12/2025 19:46

Men fully grasp the amount of work kids bring. That's one of many reasons men are pretty resistant to have kids. It's definately women who play down the drawbacks of children.... Until 30 seconds after the second one is born.

And in my circle of friends there's is never a calm discussing about going PT. It's either delived as a fait accomplis (typical) or a ton of emotional blackmail is employed. I can't think of a single male acquaintance who wants his wife to be PT no sane person would want to live on a fraction of the normal double income. Again, if women calmly and dispassionately brought all this up pre-conception most blokes would say "Actually I don't want children that badly, let's just keep going with the expensive holidays and the terrific hobbies.".

TBH that's why I think it's quite healthy that women are so open about their dislike of men. It's much easier to avoid commitment if you can point to threads like this. Very hard for one woman to claim she will enjoy being committed for life when all the others are saying they go off men when they mature and realize how awful men are. Ditto the Ick. 20 years ago very few men realized women randomly went off sex with their husbands. (Perhaps it was joked about in changing rooms and male spaces but seeing it spelled out from the horses mouth is far more helpful.)

Show quote history

You don’t have experience and you don’t have friends. If you did you’d speak to them about this stuff instead of hanging around on a woman’s thread like a loser.

Dollybantree · 30/12/2025 20:15

It’s honestly quite sad.

It’s extremely sad. I’ve come back a couple of times to see if they’ve gone away and there they still are, like a bad case of scabies.

Do they ever leave their hovels to go out for fresh air?

I think the best thing is to not even respond to them as this gives them validation - starve them of oxygen.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 30/12/2025 20:17

us women’s are defo superior but I like the good men the same as I like the good women. Decent people are worth your time. Dick heads are not

Ijwwm · 31/12/2025 04:03

GaIadriel · 30/12/2025 14:15

I work in 'a man's job' (construction) and have done for almost a decade. It's a lifestyle the vast majority of women don't have a clue about. When they talk about men it always seems to be the executive type. We hear about the lack of female CEOs, never about the lack of female refuse collectors. And after working for Biffa for almost four years I can assure you that I never met a single female refuse collector or another woman that could drive a truck. There were plenty in the office though.

Now many of my friends are having kids and going down to part time work and it's clear many have no intention of ever resuming their career with the same intensity they had in their mid 20s. It's not all roses and many find motherhood a shock, but the men aren't living some blessed existence either. Certainly the men alongside me working 12-13 hour shifts in the rain when things go wrong on HS2 aren't living some cushy existence.

They graft in a way I've not seen many women graft, and they mostly don't whinge about it either. They work hard to earn good money because it's never crossed their mind that they could just marry a high earner and go permanently part time while still enjoying an excellent quality of life.

I'm not 'rooting for men'. There are plenty of issues with them too, but it always seems to be women that play the victim. Especially educated middle class women who have the luxury of doing so. Men just realise that they need to get on with it and they mostly do. And if conscription ever comes in it'll be them stepping up again. From recent threads it's pretty clear that a lot of women will suddenly play the helpless card if the shit hits the fan.

Honestly, this thread is not about how great Joe Bloggs is at his job. Most women recognise that men manage to be capable during working hours. In fact, they often excel at their jobs. It’s an oft-discussed issue that men must be competent enough to achieve stuff during working hours, but frequently check-out of many forms of competency elsewhere.

This is about how men function in relation to their life at home, which is a completely different kettle of fish. So, unless you have a ringside seat in the living rooms of all your colleagues, most of your above post is irrelevant.

GaIadriel · 31/12/2025 05:04

Eagleswim · 30/12/2025 19:46

Men fully grasp the amount of work kids bring. That's one of many reasons men are pretty resistant to have kids. It's definately women who play down the drawbacks of children.... Until 30 seconds after the second one is born.

And in my circle of friends there's is never a calm discussing about going PT. It's either delived as a fait accomplis (typical) or a ton of emotional blackmail is employed. I can't think of a single male acquaintance who wants his wife to be PT no sane person would want to live on a fraction of the normal double income. Again, if women calmly and dispassionately brought all this up pre-conception most blokes would say "Actually I don't want children that badly, let's just keep going with the expensive holidays and the terrific hobbies.".

TBH that's why I think it's quite healthy that women are so open about their dislike of men. It's much easier to avoid commitment if you can point to threads like this. Very hard for one woman to claim she will enjoy being committed for life when all the others are saying they go off men when they mature and realize how awful men are. Ditto the Ick. 20 years ago very few men realized women randomly went off sex with their husbands. (Perhaps it was joked about in changing rooms and male spaces but seeing it spelled out from the horses mouth is far more helpful.)

Show quote history

Yeah, it's gotta be pretty shit ending up with a partner who not only doesn't pull her weight financially but also hates your guts. Whilst you're slogging it out to support the family!

And after all that being told that you're the privileged one for being able to maintain your career, when the reality is that you sit in meetings all day while she goes to spa days/nice lunches and you share a joint bank account.

I'd love to hear the other side to the some of the above quotes I posted. The "I'm lucky not to have to work because my husband works 80 hours a week" ones. Poster above is going to great pains to explain away why/how this happens but that doesn't change the fact it does. It's like expecting a woman to be happy with a bloke mansplaining the pay gap to her but not actually doing anything about it.

GaIadriel · 31/12/2025 05:17

It seems a very common thing on here for posters to pretend to be feminists just so they can rag on men, and then accuse anybody who call them out of being a man/misogynist.

It's very similar to when the trans lobby make bonkers claims and then accuse anybody that disagrees of being 'a transphobe'.

Ijwwm · 31/12/2025 05:56

Oh mate …

FirstCuppa · 31/12/2025 10:25

Wow, these guys really never touch grass do they?
More men than women want kids now https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/02/15/among-young-adults-without-children-men-are-more-likely-than-women-to-say-they-want-to-be-parents-someday/ so a lot of the "women just want kids then spas for the rest of their lives" posts need to have a rethink.
Clearly none of you have clue what birth and pregnancy does to a woman's body or brain for starters. Seeing the responses I can fully understand why women growing up today wouldn't want to marry or date men with the attitudes expressed here.

Among young adults without children, men are more likely than women to say they want to be parents someday

Among adults ages 18 to 34, 69% of those who have never been married say they want to get married one day.

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/02/15/among-young-adults-without-children-men-are-more-likely-than-women-to-say-they-want-to-be-parents-someday/

OverlyFragrant · 31/12/2025 10:27

The more I see men, and I mean, truly see them, the more I am disappointed in them.
Yesterday evening coming home from work on the train I heard raised voices, one from a young woman and the other an older man, late 40s if I were to guess.
She was screaming at him to delete the photo. He got up and walked off with her following him again, loudly asking him to delete the photo.
Not one person intervened. Lots stared at their phones, others pretended they didn't hear and some just gawped. I walked up to them and asked her if she was ok, and no she wasn't. In near tears she said she had caught the man taking photos of her, without her permission and she wanted to delete them. At this point one man told him to delete them and he denied all knowledge, sitting there pretending he was dumb.
I asked the girl how old she was, she had just turned 18.
It was then that a vocal prick started shouting down the train how its a public space and the man can record what he likes. Not totally true as tfl conditions of carriage ban photography and the photos were clearly taken to harass the girl.
But the amount of men that were happy to look the other way, or excuse his behaviour. Truly appalling.
Men really do protect other men.

WhatMe123 · 31/12/2025 12:21

But if it had been a flat tyre.....according to this thread all of them would have been up helping.....🙄
What an awful thing for that young girl to go through, I bet she really appreciated you helping her

OverlyFragrant · 31/12/2025 12:51

WhatMe123 · 31/12/2025 12:21

But if it had been a flat tyre.....according to this thread all of them would have been up helping.....🙄
What an awful thing for that young girl to go through, I bet she really appreciated you helping her

Funnily enough I had a flat tyre this week.
I know how to change it myself, which is great as absolutely no one offered to help.

Beesd · 31/12/2025 14:01

GaIadriel · 31/12/2025 05:17

It seems a very common thing on here for posters to pretend to be feminists just so they can rag on men, and then accuse anybody who call them out of being a man/misogynist.

It's very similar to when the trans lobby make bonkers claims and then accuse anybody that disagrees of being 'a transphobe'.

No, we also point out that women who jump onto threads like this to defend their beloved men and cherished patriarchy of internalised misogyny. You missed something there.

Beesd · 31/12/2025 14:08

FirstCuppa · 31/12/2025 10:25

Wow, these guys really never touch grass do they?
More men than women want kids now https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/02/15/among-young-adults-without-children-men-are-more-likely-than-women-to-say-they-want-to-be-parents-someday/ so a lot of the "women just want kids then spas for the rest of their lives" posts need to have a rethink.
Clearly none of you have clue what birth and pregnancy does to a woman's body or brain for starters. Seeing the responses I can fully understand why women growing up today wouldn't want to marry or date men with the attitudes expressed here.

I always thought it was a myth that men did not want children as much as women. They clearly benefit more, in pay, status, joy, plus don't have their bodies affected much, don't get mummy-tracked at work and don't have to do most of the slog (in the UK, different in some more gender equal countries).

I never really wanted children and when I moved here it was a hard no given the state of pregnancy care (you don't even get help at home after which you do in my home country), post-bird care, and work penalty. Many of my childfree friends say that they would have had children if they'd been male. I think young women are finally waking up to the reality, where men, as usual are lagging behind in their opinions.

The message needs to change to: being parents is an equal partnership, with both doing 50% (men doing bit more in the first few years to make up for the toll on women's bodies). And if that is not on the cards, well then no babies.

Women on this thread are a bit older and have now reached a point where they have the option of living without a man, and many find they prefer that. If men want o live with women, perhaps some introspection would be good on their part instead of telling us our views are invalid.

FirstCuppa · 31/12/2025 18:43

Exactly @Beesd - at least acknowledge maternity care and female health care is appalling and fight to fix it when voting.

Jade3450 · 01/01/2026 16:47

JHound · 28/12/2025 12:51

You mean they rely on paid services?

I don’t need a male romantic partner to manage any of the above. Which is what this thread is about. And a lot of the things above I don’t do as I have no need (no car that needs upkeep, no lawn that needs mowing. Basic DIY is done by me, my landlord or I pay somebody to recover my time.)

Paying for services doesn’t mean you need a male partner anymore than a man paying for cleaning services means he needs a female partner.

Show quote history

I get your point, but my point is that many women I know rely on their husbands to do a lot.

No one’s paying someone to light the fire or check the oil on their car.

Jade3450 · 01/01/2026 16:51

OverlyFragrant · 31/12/2025 10:27

The more I see men, and I mean, truly see them, the more I am disappointed in them.
Yesterday evening coming home from work on the train I heard raised voices, one from a young woman and the other an older man, late 40s if I were to guess.
She was screaming at him to delete the photo. He got up and walked off with her following him again, loudly asking him to delete the photo.
Not one person intervened. Lots stared at their phones, others pretended they didn't hear and some just gawped. I walked up to them and asked her if she was ok, and no she wasn't. In near tears she said she had caught the man taking photos of her, without her permission and she wanted to delete them. At this point one man told him to delete them and he denied all knowledge, sitting there pretending he was dumb.
I asked the girl how old she was, she had just turned 18.
It was then that a vocal prick started shouting down the train how its a public space and the man can record what he likes. Not totally true as tfl conditions of carriage ban photography and the photos were clearly taken to harass the girl.
But the amount of men that were happy to look the other way, or excuse his behaviour. Truly appalling.
Men really do protect other men.

I’m surprised at this, because if I think of any of my male friends off the top of my head, or my DP, I’m 99% sure they would all have intervened in this scenario.

FirstCuppa · 01/01/2026 17:35

Jade3450 · 01/01/2026 16:47

I get your point, but my point is that many women I know rely on their husbands to do a lot.

No one’s paying someone to light the fire or check the oil on their car.

Show quote history

Wait until you are in your 40's and they've mostly divorced; you'd be surprised what women can do if the man in their life doesn't constantly need to feel needed.