To feel like I don’t like men anymore

[Dogsinsantasuits]

Not as in not attracted to them, although I am less bothered these days
It’s almost like i’m coming to a realisation that most (not all) are not great and women are infinitely stronger people.
Is this an age thing-late 40’s? Sad as I used to really like men. Now all I see around me is amazing women with men who aren’t a patch on them or dangerous and/or perverted men in the news.

Exactly this. We’re lucky to have some decent husbands and fathers in our social circle, but our single friend (whose knobhead of an ex husband was ditched by all of us, the guys included) feels this acutely, although she maintains a positive, upbeat demeanour. The pickings out there are slim.

I feel the same. Early 40s. Married.

I think there's something with gender roles. Men are emasculated. We don't need them for money or strength or basic logistical care like we once did. So what are they good for now? Not emotional support or conversation. They're lost.

I would love a masculine man - a gentleman who could look after me through care and small gestures, who could make a plan, make decisions. They are incapable. Maybe they never did this before? Women have always made the plans and decisions - the emotional labour. But now we have jobs and lives and are educated too. So what are men for now?

Disagree

Women and men are bothered by different things

I find the women who insist women are better and men are all shit are often not women I want to be around

(And I say that as someone who thinks women probably are objectively better on the whole)

My DH and sil are a good example of people being individuals also. She's highly strung and has genuine npd. He's thoughtful and gentle and sensitive.

Im on OLD apps. Ive never seen such a bunch of pathetic specimens.

YANBU. I’m fast approaching 40 and have realised men need a women to provide their basic needs. They have always had a woman (their mum and then their partner/wife) to pander to them. Women are far more self sufficient, independent and resilient. Women don’t need a man to survive. I’d happily care for myself and my children if my hubby moved out. He wouldn’t move out because he knows he couldn’t fend for himself. It isn’t a choice he’d make, unless he found another woman to provide his basic needs. I might make the decision for him though if he doesn’t buck his ideas up.

And nope I won’t be having his mum visit at 6am on Christmas Day or outstay her welcome. I have no problem with her calling in to see her grandchildren for an hour or so but if hubby wants his mother to stay then he can entertain her. I don’t have a problem with MIL. But, ultimately, she's not my problem. I agree times/dates/visits/outings with my mum. Which suit both of us. I don’t expect hubby to drop everything to entertain my mum. Hubby is welcome to arrange visits with members of his family at a time that suits him. Count me out.

Same

I feel like this at 28 if that helps, have for a few years. Do you use social media? I think it's because we see more about the horrific parts of men.

I agree to an extent but I do, more often than not, find male company more enjoyable, just easier and more relaxed, with a tendency towards more varied topics. I’ve noticed this more as I’ve got older and less attractive, it’s not a “pick me” thing. In multi female interactions I still feel there’s some sort of a code that I’m missing out on? Anyone else?

My OH and DF are fantastic and always did most their fair share of cooking and housework.

I feel the same. I’m early 40s. I think the bar is just set very low for men and now women have more rights, more earning power, men just don’t add anything to their lives. My DH is a decent man but I can’t say I’m fussed by men at all. I think they’ve got away with being mediocre for far too long. I’m also sick of the violence that men bring. I find it so frustrating and disgusting how women are having to adjust their lives because of the violence or threat of violence from men. I know there’s decent men and crap
Women but on the whole, it feels like there’s many more crap men.

My understanding the selfishness and the suicide thing go kinda hand in hand. Apparently more women than men attempt it, but use the ‘not definitely going to happen’ methods because they are too aware of who depends on them. Men have a higher ‘success’ rate and thus the numbers are higher.

Yes I feel exactly the same

Yes! And not just in 'real life'. From my mid-40s I'm way more genuinely excited about music/books/films by women. Men are just... less interesting. I'm still straight but that part of my brain gets much less airtime now. Although for some reason I still have a lingering crush on Trent from Daria. Who is useless and probably smelly.

I’m nearly 60 and I’ve got absolutely zero interest in men now. If ‘something happened’ to my husband I would not have another relationship.

I know of several women of my age who are divorced or widowed - beautiful, clever, fun, solvent, together - and they have lovely network and do stuff together outside time with their own families, eg Sunday lunches and trips. Absolutely clear that they’re not ever getting involved again with another man.

I used to feel the same and hated the slagging off men thing, I loved them and their company. Now, I don’t

Yes I do, it’s true that we’re now able to see more negative stories about them…but it’s porn too, i’m either basically disgusted by them or scared of them or I just don’t feel the same respect for them anymore

I used to have lots of male friends when younger and found them funny and good company..maybe the ones my age are boring

I feel the same… a lot of my friends’ husbands are fun, but not great partners day to day ( based on what my friends say) , the wives end up doing a large share of what should be joint tasks… I can count on half of one hand how many of these husbands are pulling their weight

I feel the same (and so does my DD). I honestly think men are rapidly getting worse and the already small pool of decent men is rapidly shrinking.

This doesn’t bode well for the future and, sadly, I’m realising that I may now be single to the end of my life.

I used to like the more too. I think they get more boring and increasingly selfish / grumpy as the testosterone drops

Same! I definitely wouldn’t marry or ever live with another man again were I to find myself without DH. I might use one or two for occasional sex but fucked if I’d live with a man again full time. No thank you.

There’s very few men I actually like.

It’s not surprising to me that (so far) 90% of the respondents to the question have said the OP is NOT being unreasonable.

Me too. But what appears charming and endearing in a youth is much less so in a fifty something.

I think my problem is that I am quite boring. So I find sitting in comfortable silence with the odd muttering about some news item quite relaxing now 😂

I’ll be honest I feel irritated by the things men get to do/ say a lot, but I think as women we aren’t that great either!!! in my 40s and now know so many people who say it’s freeing they’re older so don’t give two shits etc, when actually they’ve just turned mean/ cruel/ unwilling to help others. I know a lot of people who seem to think all work colleagues can’t do their jobs and bitch about them and I’m like, really? All of them? Maybe I just don’t like people!!!!

I love my DH and he’s decent and kind but I definitely will not have another man in my life should he go before me. Why would I want to? What would it add to my life? I have an interesting life with a great career and friends and hobbies. Yes I may have to learn diy but god I will give it a go! But seriously men do frighten me sometimes, the violence, abuse, animal and child abuse and awful porn use makes me feel I don’t like many men. I have a dear friend who works in very sensitive social services (don’t know how else to explain her role) and what she sometimes reveals about male behaviour reinforces that I just want to keep away from men. Added to that they seem hopeless and need mothering I am done really.