To feel like I don’t like men anymore

[Dogsinsantasuits]

Not as in not attracted to them, although I am less bothered these days
It’s almost like i’m coming to a realisation that most (not all) are not great and women are infinitely stronger people.
Is this an age thing-late 40’s? Sad as I used to really like men. Now all I see around me is amazing women with men who aren’t a patch on them or dangerous and/or perverted men in the news.

I know three who seem great; all are married to friends. I don’t think this is coincidence - the good ones are taken!

No, I feel exactly the same. Mid 40s

I’m married but feel like I don’t really like men either. I love my ds’s but in general I think most men are shits.

Did you always feel like this or after a certain age?

I adore my Ddad, but even see so many faults in him, the selfishness so many men have, the way mum takes on everything
Nearly all my friends Dh’s aren’t great, my own isn’t
I didn’t see this as much in my twenties or even thirties really

Is this peri, age or just maturity and seeing the truth? It’s pretty depressing

This has crossed my mind recently. The women I know are all strong and financially stable and smashing it. They know what they want and go and make it happen. Some (but not all) of the men I know struggle with the basic life skills beyond going to work. An incompetent man is incredibly unattractive to me.

Yes, this is so true, I see it all around me, it feels pathetic

Women are the better sex. Took you long enough to notice.

Plenty of men are nice or interesting or fun though. Just as plenty of women are boring and slow and nippy and selfish.

I think that in general men and women are designed to complement one another. Strengths and weaknesses.

In fact I’ve just ended a long term relationship for that very reason. Not financially stable, no career drive, no accountability for anything, no retirement plan, struggles with normal life skills like booking a holiday or basics like bills or cooking.

Most men seem to be pretty dire. I'm fortunate to have a good (most of the time) DH, but if he was no longer around, I can't see myself bothering with any more of them.

The only men who I knew, now sadly both dead, was my Dad and Brother. Both utterly decent humans. Otherwise, I feel the same.

I think it’s a peri/menopause thing. Occasionally I meet a man who I think is really, really nice. My DH is a good man. My late dad was lovely. But most of the others - nooo thanks

women are often awesome

I started coming to this conclusion at about 25. After a couple of relationships, where the blokes ended up being a bit useless, and having had a dad who wasn't very capable, I sort of started looking around at other blokes. And most of 'em fell into the same kind of quality/standard.

I do know some lovely, capable men. But as others have said, very much in the minority. Whereas most of the women I know are really capable and can handle a lot. Again, not all. I know a couple of flaky women. But I'd say for women 85% shit hot. Whereas for blokes, 85% a bit crap.

I don't know if it's biological though. I do wonder if they've just been allowed to be mediocre, living in a patriarchy, and never had to up their game.

One comment I often see on these threads is that the phrase “the Merry Widow” exists for a reason.

Aren’t single women supposed to be the happiest demographic and single men the most miserable? I also have been thinking a lot about the male suicide rate what with Moovember (?) and all the ads about men’s mental health on the tv. I honestly just think women are a lot more resilient and strong. We can be dealing with much, much worse problems than men and just get on with it bc we don’t want to let people down/worry about the people we’d leave behind and how upset they’d be.

My df commuted suicide when I was young and left my dm in a dire situation. Ive suffered with terrible MH issues myself and had suicidal thoughts but never went through with it bc of the thought of how it would affect my dc’s and dh.

I think men are a lot more selfish tbh.

I don’t mean to upset anyone by making these comments it’s just my observation. I know quite a few men who’ve committed suicide and zero women and it’s certainly not bc those men were facing worse issues/had worse lives.

But that is pretty much the women being the strength and the bloke being the weakness.

God yes. Mid 40s. Given up on them mostly!!

Same. I'm peri. The hormonal veil is lifting (the basic biological need to find a 'good enough' one to procreate with no longer exists) - whether or not one logically and rationally wants children, the chemical and hormonal and biological thing still factors, until it doesn't.

I see it in my friends too - finally realising their boring, dependent, useless husbands are crap... I foresee divorces incoming.

Feel a bit sad about it as I'd like to be loved and I'd love to love, but honestly it's just not worth it. They take FAR MORE than they give.

The older l get, the more l see it. I have one male friend who has actually said to me when he'd old he's going to move in with me so l can look after him! Jog on mate!

Not just a menopausal thing. Mid-late 30's and feel the same.

Men are weak, I don't respect weak.

Im bi and say this about men and women.

There is some good ones left but i cant find them.

Maybe they are worse than they used to be?

I remember many men being gentlemen and looking after you at times, I don’t really see this anymore at all

Yes…I didn’t see this when younger…it’s all I can see now

Interesting. I’m 59 and feel much wiser/clear seeing about these things. In my thirties I was blinded by must-procreate hormones
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