To feel like I don’t like men anymore

[Dogsinsantasuits]

Not as in not attracted to them, although I am less bothered these days
It’s almost like i’m coming to a realisation that most (not all) are not great and women are infinitely stronger people.
Is this an age thing-late 40’s? Sad as I used to really like men. Now all I see around me is amazing women with men who aren’t a patch on them or dangerous and/or perverted men in the news.

Thea’s great for you! You’ve got one of the good ones. I know one or two like this as well. Not the majority though, by any means.

Some men don’t even hide their bitterness that women no longer need a man to survive. They understand perfectly well the mechanics of what made those marriages last.

They want what their grandfathers had, a woman who is completely dependent on them with no options. Which is why so many of them try to recreate the dynamic by engineering mortgages and savings in their name only, women giving up their careers to be sahm and being moved away from support under the guise of moving for his work.

lol. Did you miss the thread title or what this thread is about? I have high standards, which is precisely why I’d rather be single than with a man. Kinda what this threads about. There are decent men, but not enough of them compared to women. The ‘high’ standard man that I would consider dating, would simply be on a parr with all my female friends - emotionally mature, able to hold a conversation, self aware, be able to solve conflict, be a capable adult - attributes which millions of men don’t have, but 90% of the women I know, do.

I didn't miss out what the thread is about.

I completely disagree that the "most amazing dad ever is basically a bog standard everyday mum."

On MN maybe, but not in real life where bog standard everyday mums are just the same as bog standard everyday dads.

attributes which millions of men don’t have but 90% of the women I know, do.
yeah right 😂 Where do you work to be surrounded by such low levels individuals?

emotionally mature, able to hold a conversation, self aware, be able to solve conflict, be a capable adult that removes 90% of MN female posters for a start 😂😂

Yes, FIL is very boastful that I am a SAHM. He says how much better I am than his divorced daughter, who puts her child in nursery to work. I wish I’d done life differently and been like her.

I wish I was like his daughter who had a career, her own money and was able to say, “fuck this” when her husband turned into an arsehole when she fell pregnant, and walked out the door to start again.

He should be proud of HER. Not me, sat here looking like a bag lady with nothing.

He’s only proud that I’ve had to rely on his son and that I have to nod and smile to keep the peace with everyone because I can’t just tell them to sod off like SIL does.

I feel you OP, so many amazing women being personal assistants for mediocre men....don't even get me started on how many of them are closet sex offenders. I wouldn't say I hate men, but I don't certainly don't trust them.

Also, centuries of mums running around organising everyone's christmas presents and who takes the all the flipping credit....ohhh jolly old Santa Claus of course, A MAN! Surprise surprise!

I’m mid 40s and single. Would still like to meet someone but I suspect the fantasy and the reality are very different. I haven’t had many good male role models in my life. I know they’re out there but I’d rather just stay single than settle for a mediocre man.

I'm not convinced that men and women should live together at all, beyond child rearing. And I've yet to hear of a cheerful, upbeat man with a joy sucking wife who manages to highlight the negative in every occasion.

This is the sad reality of so many marriages. Some women with children can’t leave and men exploit it. Many men cannot maintain a marriage based on mutual care and connection, they bank on dependence instead. The inevitable happens when children get older and women get their earning capacity back. No wonder they’re lonely.

It sounds similar to my ex - except mine was abusive too. Respect for leaving and knowing your worth.

aerm, I like living with a man! Most women around me do! Most of us would be living alone if it was a chore to live with men frankly. We have a choice. And we can't be that bad as men are sticking around too

I've yet to hear of a cheerful, upbeat man with a joy sucking wife who manages to highlight the negative in every occasion.
guessing many many men whose wives are the most bitter posters on MN, because there are so insanely bitter posters on here 😂

I am the same. I just read your post to my husband and he says you have a point and doesn't think you are being unreasonable. He knows he can be pretty pants at times so definitely doesn't think he is one of the good ones.

Yawn, I swear this same man hating thread comes up every month on this forum.

If there are so many amazing competent women out there, how come it's so difficult to find a female mechanic, plumber, electrician or builder, "amazing" or otherwise?! 😂

I agree. I'm only 35 but I have a toddler, my first child. The rose tinted glasses are well and truly off.

I carried and birthed a baby, with long term damage to my health.

Cared for and have been doing everything for said baby/toddler.

I am the main earner, working much longer hours as I am more ambitious than him.

I have the responsibility for absolutely everything, DH wouldn't even know how to pay the bills.

But because he cooks (does not clean after), does bath time and plays with his son, I am supposed to be grateful and count myself lucky.

I now look around me and really notice how little the other men do as well.

One of my friends' DH is a SAHD. The second she enters the house, he hands over the child. So she is at work 9-6, then has full responsibility while she is at home and at weekends because his work day has ended. Can you imagine any SAHM do that?

No peri here and I agree. Let’s not blame hormones shall we? They do that to us all the time. It’s far more likely that you’ve encountered enough men to know how disappointing they all are

For builder and mechanic - probably because it isn’t very appealing to work in a male dominated environment, cos, men.

plumber and electrician - I’m thinking we will start to see many more women coming through in these trades in the next decade.

Who don't these amazing competent women set up their own all-female trade companies, no men allowed?

Because they are amazing and competent in different jobs. Duh!

on the other hand, the poor guys who try to be midwives, work in nurseries, in school even get faced with such a barrage of abuse (at least on MN, people are more normal in real life) that you can't blame them for selecting a different profession.

Women even refused to be seen by male doctors in A&E! If you are that picky, you shouldn't be clogging A&E in the first place, obviously it could wait 😂. It's not even that funny, people who dont' get seen on time suffer severe health consequence, but it's ok to for some precious (non-urgent) patient to try to get special treatment.

All I am saying is that people are just as distasteful as each other, male or female can be just as bad.

I expect that’s coming very soon, and personally I can’t wait. I would employ a female for a trade over a male any day. I just googled it out of interest, I might look more properly later but it’s suggesting a 300% increase in women doing these qualifications in recent years. Photo won’t load immediately but research it if you’d like, rather than trying to denigrate women, which won’t work on here.

huh? I am not sure you are making the point you think you are.

Why can't women be mechanic, plumber, electrician or builder? You don't need a penis? Women are surgeons, air force pilot.. they are perfectly able to become mechanics or plumbers?

Are you genuinely suggesting the absence of female electricians disproves women’s experiences in relationships?
Because those are… not the same conversation.

Being bored by a topic often means you’re not the one carrying the consequences.

What attracted you to him initially?

I’m older (late 50’s) and feel the same. I know to many fabulous, attractive, intelligent, articulate, full of life older women who have been single by choice for years as the men on offer just aren’t appealing.

People wanting a same sex Dr typically have a reason for that.