He asked me for a handjob 5 days after giving birth.

[mondaystuesdays]

im new here, sorry this is in the wrong place i see posts here seem to get loads of traffic and could do with advice. please be kind though

i have a 5 day old baby boy. He was unplanned but he is loved. I don’t have family support and as a result I live in temporary accommodation by the council with baby. I split up with his dad before he was born but last week we met up and we agreed to get back together. Baby was then born on Thursday and he’s been supportive and staying over since Saturday as we got home Saturday morning.

we’ve just been bonding with him tbh but today I felt more myself and comfortable and we took him for a short walk. Baby was asleep when we got home and I was just resting too as I’ve been worrying about baby not waking up for a feed so I’ve not been resting when he’s been sleeping (google says it’s normal though)

Bf then started asking for a handjob, I said no and when he asked why I reminded him I gave birth 5 days ago. His response was “it’s not like full on sex” and then went to the bathroom after making a comment about doing it himself. He’s seemed to be in a mood all afternoon and has now gone out after saying he’s going out for a smoke.

please be kind as I’m new here but I’ve never posted before so sorry if this is wrong in any way. I don’t have any one else to speak to about this. I just noticed to get it out.

I don’t have any issue with him going out to smoke but it’s just the way he was in a mood all afternoon and he denied that he was, he said he was “just tired”. I wanted to discuss names for the baby with him

I was the one who broke up with him originally and we didn’t have much contact during the pregnancy until we started talking again and met up and agreed to try again and he was at the birth. His mum also didn’t help things as she accused me of trapping him for because I didn’t want an abortion and she just wasn’t supportive at all

i don’t know if I will go to baby groups as I am young and I worry about being judged, and friends drifted whilst I was pregnant so I just feel alone rn

Hi OP, really try to go to baby groups, you need the support and company. No one will judge. And anyone who does isn’t worth worrying about.

Being with people in the same boat is so so valuable. Don’t cut yourself off 💐.

I think it's okay to ask but not sulk about it when told no!!

Send him packing back to his mum’s. He is a man-child sex pest

OP he doesn’t respect you. Don’t stay with him. No man would expect that 5 days after having his baby

Women just don't want men to be happy, do they?

Women want men who treat them like humans and not just a sex toy.

Do men want women to be happy? Or do they just want sex on tap?

5 days post partum the father’s sex drive is really not the priority , in a sane world

I’m going to quote this just to say it again.

Top man!

Good for him, he hasn't kept his true self hidden - he has shown you early what he is and now you can decide if you want to keep this prince amongst men, or let the rubbish take itself out

Please don't stay with this arsehole because you're lonely.

He's showing you who he is.

End it again and mean it this time.

‘when someone shows you who they are, believe them’

OP, your ex's behaviour is revolting. You've given birth and you have your own space. Tell him to stay away, enjoy Christmas day in whatever way you can. Even if you have some string lights up, your baby will enjoy them. This is about you, your baby and both of your futures. I don't think your ex has any right to be part of it. He says he wants things to work but what has he provided for the baby?

Please go to the baby groups and reach out to other mums. Also, look at the Freedom Project. It can help to re-establish self esteem. You and your child deserve better than anything your ex can offer.

@mondaystuesdays didn't want to read and run.
Your age doesn't matter, you are the perfect mummy to your little baby, and are all he needs.
Be proud of your achievement in bringing a new life into the world, and go to baby classes - other mums aren't judging your age, I promise, and almost all mums who go to a baby group on their own are looking to connect with people and make a "village".
Hope you get things sorted out. You and your baby deserve the very best. Merry Christmas ❤️❤️❤️

And here it is 😂😂😂😂😂

Congratulations on your baby op. Go to the baby groups- no one will judge you, everyone will just be getting on with looking after their babies and being exhausted.

Your boyfriend is being unreasonable and needs to grow up. He really should be supporting you right now, not pressuring you. Don't put up with more of this sort of childish and self-centred behaviour.

Merry Christmas.

That’s grim. Assume he’s meant to be there to support you after the birth. Instead he’s thinking of his own needs. I’d be getting rid now.

Do not give that baby his last name. It is not traditional, as no doubt him and his mum will try to tell you.

just have a look at baby’s hospital info and ID bracelets. They will say baby boy your last name. Babies always have the mothers last name which happens to be the dads too as he’d have married her and she’d have changed her name in the olden days.

hes a man child and it’s utterly gross that he wanted you to jerk him off just so he could have a hands free orgasm. What on earth did he think you’d get out of that other than sticky fingers? It’s gross and he doesn’t respect you.

Well he could have went to the bathroom and finished himself off without declaring it and going in a huff.

Personally I have a very high sex drive and was wanting sex shortly after giving birth but that isn't the norm for many postpartum woman.

OPs hormones will be all over. Isn't it surprising he’s suddenly crawled out of his rock once the baby has been born in the hopes for some intimacy. I would be demanding an STI test before I went anywhere near him.

My two favourite people at baby group were 17 and 46. The three of us were called ‘the no sleep club’. We bonded over our lack of sleep and inability to tolerate stupid parenting advice. If the first baby group is rubbish, try another. Congratulations on the baby, sorry about the bloke. He needs to grow up.

This with bells on 🔔