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Original poster

He asked me for a handjob 5 days after giving birth.

231 replies

mondaystuesdays · 23/12/2025 18:23

im new here, sorry this is in the wrong place i see posts here seem to get loads of traffic and could do with advice. please be kind though

i have a 5 day old baby boy. He was unplanned but he is loved. I don’t have family support and as a result I live in temporary accommodation by the council with baby. I split up with his dad before he was born but last week we met up and we agreed to get back together. Baby was then born on Thursday and he’s been supportive and staying over since Saturday as we got home Saturday morning.

we’ve just been bonding with him tbh but today I felt more myself and comfortable and we took him for a short walk. Baby was asleep when we got home and I was just resting too as I’ve been worrying about baby not waking up for a feed so I’ve not been resting when he’s been sleeping (google says it’s normal though)

Bf then started asking for a handjob, I said no and when he asked why I reminded him I gave birth 5 days ago. His response was “it’s not like full on sex” and then went to the bathroom after making a comment about doing it himself. He’s seemed to be in a mood all afternoon and has now gone out after saying he’s going out for a smoke.

please be kind as I’m new here but I’ve never posted before so sorry if this is wrong in any way. I don’t have any one else to speak to about this. I just noticed to get it out.

OP posts:
Carandache18 · 23/12/2025 19:20

I think there are worse things than being lonely. You and the baby are the ones that matter, don't get stuck with a selfish man.
Babies are very good for meeting new people and making new friends, if you are willing/able to join baby groups and things like that. Things will get better. You don't need someone who doesn't respect you.
Bless you, take care.

myhaggisblewup · 23/12/2025 19:22

"Lives with his mum" well that 's it, mum has probably told him to sling his hook and go and look after his gf and baby. She's probably rejocing that you've taken her twat of a son back.
Send him back to his mum, he can do his own hand jobs, but in reality there will be another mug along in a couple of weeks to do that for him.
You'll be a great mum without this tosser and be able to enjoy your baby on your terms.
Make sure you get in touch with CMS though. He can damn well pay his way, don't accept excuses.

Calendulaaria · 23/12/2025 19:22

You deserve better, believe me.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 23/12/2025 19:23

Is HE going to provide you with a roof over your head for you and the baby - no ?

Get him out of your homeless accommodation immediately ! it is for you and your baby.

Eyeshadow · 23/12/2025 19:24

Gently OP, he did not want to be with you when you lived with your parents but now you have your own place (and will be getting a council place one day), he all of a sudden wants you back?!

He is horny and wants out of his mums house.

How hard did he have to work to get you back?
Did he want to start dating again, taking you out and buying you gifts to show his love and appreciation for you?
or did he basically just move straight in?

ThatCyanCat · 23/12/2025 19:25

WearyAuldWumman · 23/12/2025 18:28

Oh Lord.

He's just wanting sex and has tried his luck when you're at your most vulnerable. Kick him out.

Don't tell me...You have council accommodation and he's now staying with you? Oh no. Apart from anything else, his presence is imperilling your tenancy and any benefits you might be in receipt of at the moment.

So accurate, it should appear twice.

Laura95167 · 23/12/2025 19:25

Hes a pig

Should have sorted himself out to begin with.

Honestly, youre better off alone. Even if that feels scary I promise its true

Donttellempike · 23/12/2025 19:27

Yes. It is that bad. It is appalling.

Did you read about the sulking ? Raise your bar FGS

SunMoonandChocolate · 23/12/2025 19:28

How old are you and your BF OP? He doesn't sound very mature at all, and you sound very young, if I'm wrong, I apologise, but there are lots of ladies on MN that have all sorts of experience, so please listen to what they're telling you - ie, get rid of him! The last thing you need is to risk losing your accommodation, because he'd rather be living with you, having sex on tap (or so he thinks) and generally not having to fit in with his mother's rules. I think if you let him stay after this, you will be VERY, VERY sorry!

Congratulations on your new baby though.

elliejjtiny · 23/12/2025 19:29

He's not unreasonable to ask but he is very unreasonable for moaning or sulking after being told no. I would have happily done that after my vaginal births, although the risk of me falling asleep part way through would have been high, but I couldn't have after my c-sections.

Suusue · 23/12/2025 19:30

Get rid of him. Total selfish loser. Not fit as a partner or father. Dump immediately.

usedtobeaylis · 23/12/2025 19:33

He is disgusting. I'm sorry you got back together with him. You, and by extension your child, deserve better than a half-assed sleazy man baby. Get rid of him.

WearyAuldWumman · 23/12/2025 19:33

Apparently, the bold boy is officially staying with his mum. I'm betting that she wants rid, hence his interest in reconciliation with the OP.

suburberphobe · 23/12/2025 19:34

What a creep.

Sorry OP. He's not the one for you.

Take him to CMS.

Jenkibuble · 23/12/2025 19:34

mondaystuesdays · 23/12/2025 18:23

im new here, sorry this is in the wrong place i see posts here seem to get loads of traffic and could do with advice. please be kind though

i have a 5 day old baby boy. He was unplanned but he is loved. I don’t have family support and as a result I live in temporary accommodation by the council with baby. I split up with his dad before he was born but last week we met up and we agreed to get back together. Baby was then born on Thursday and he’s been supportive and staying over since Saturday as we got home Saturday morning.

we’ve just been bonding with him tbh but today I felt more myself and comfortable and we took him for a short walk. Baby was asleep when we got home and I was just resting too as I’ve been worrying about baby not waking up for a feed so I’ve not been resting when he’s been sleeping (google says it’s normal though)

Bf then started asking for a handjob, I said no and when he asked why I reminded him I gave birth 5 days ago. His response was “it’s not like full on sex” and then went to the bathroom after making a comment about doing it himself. He’s seemed to be in a mood all afternoon and has now gone out after saying he’s going out for a smoke.

please be kind as I’m new here but I’ve never posted before so sorry if this is wrong in any way. I don’t have any one else to speak to about this. I just noticed to get it out.

Deffo keep him as an EX

Not OK!

Fiftyandme · 23/12/2025 19:36

Throw this one back - preferable with the help of a very very long fishing line

RocketPanda · 23/12/2025 19:37

He's only interested in your secure tenancy and availability for sex. You can do so much better.

gamerchick · 23/12/2025 19:37

OP, he wants to get out of his parents. Now you're set up he thinks he's sorted.

Send him back to his parents, tell him to grow the fuck up and sort out CM and contact with the baby. This is not going to work.

Beeloux · 23/12/2025 19:42

What a fucker. Sounds like my ds2 dad. He suddenly wanted to get back together after the birth despite cheating and pissing off during the pregnancy.

Stupidly I gave him a second chance which was down to me wanting him to be in ds2 life and probably hormones.

In reality he wanted sex on tap and knew I would cook him a meal whenever he came over.

I finally opened my eyes and ended things (found out he was screwing a nurse he worked with). Since that day he has never seen or asked about his son despite me making it clear he was welcome to be in his life and I would coparent amicably.

He even had the cheek to say I could think again if I thought he would provide childcare for ‘the baby’ so I could go and meet someone new.

I suggest you save yourself heartbreak and nip this in the bud asap.

Wheresthebeach · 23/12/2025 19:43

Grim. Get rid now.

rubyslippers · 23/12/2025 19:45

He’s a disgusting pig
he’ll be a shitty father and a shitty partner
Send him back to his mums and enjoy your lovely new baby

toiletpaperthief · 23/12/2025 19:46

There's a reason why you split with this jerk while being pregnant. You don't want this guy as partner, maybe you want to come to some civilised arrangement where he gets to be a father and be around to help just NOT be a couple. Please don't put up with this terrible behaviour from a man just because... You dumped him a while ago because clearly he has little empathy and is not operating on your best interests. You're much better off alone and with him it's only going to get worse.

bazcam · 23/12/2025 19:47

He's a selfish prick. What a ridiculous demand. Let him know all sex acts are off the table for the foreseeable.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 23/12/2025 19:47

Cock lodger alert.

Devilsmommy · 23/12/2025 19:48

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/12/2025 18:28

You are homeless, recovering from birth. With a very tiny new baby.

This dickhead just wants to get his rocks off. And sulks when you don’t oblige.

You are better than this. Please know that now you are a mother. This gives you enormous responsibility but also power. Get rid of scummy dickhead, apply to CSA, work on doing what you can to build a life for you and your baby.

100% this. You don't need that kind of shit in your life. Just focus on your little one and tell the twat to do one