Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you even like your adult sibling?

164 replies

Imjustwonderingnow · 22/12/2025 22:27

We live in different countries. Used to be very close as kids. Used to speak often. Slowly over the last 2 years had numerous small arguments but really I've realised our values are just totally different. I wouldn't choose to be friends with them in real Life. So now we just tolerate each other and send messages on birthdays etc. Is this normal for some ? If you've had the same tell your story. Of course I'm saddened by it ... I miss the person they used to be. I feel they've changed into someone I cannot relate to. That's fine ....but my internal peace is more important to me so I'm low contact. Our mum we both still have contact with her separately

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 22/12/2025 22:28

Yes. She’s fabulous! Teases me mercilessly but I love it!

Thehop · 22/12/2025 22:31

I'm close to my half brothers but really don't like my full brother. The feeling is mutual. We've never got along but my mother for Ed me to invite him to things because he was the golden child. My lovely dad died 10 years ago and I haven't spoken to either of them in 9 years. It's lovely. As an adult, you do realise that some people you love and some you don't want in your life.

PermanentTemporary · 22/12/2025 22:31

I respect both mine very much, love them both but I wish they could get on. They’re reaching a point now where they just don’t speak any more, which would be sad if so many of their conversations hadn’t ended up as big rows.

StellaMary · 22/12/2025 22:33

Brother- I like and care about him but we don’t have much in common.
Sister- much more in common but she is a massive wet lettuce when it comes to anything other than her career and I find it hard to hold my tongue.

sprigatito · 22/12/2025 22:33

I love my older brother very much, but he’s a difficult man. I have no contact with my older sister or younger brother, nor any of my younger adopted siblings. And no contact with my mother either. We’re a very fractured family with a lot of historical abuse and mental health problems.

mightyducks · 22/12/2025 22:33

Pretty low contact, just because you are siblings doesn’t mean you have to like them , even if you love them

crispypotatoes · 22/12/2025 22:34

Yes, I like my siblings. I suppose it’s the opposite for me. As a child and teen I often found them hard going, but as an adult I find that we have very similar life values.
I know my own children have quite different personalities but again I believe that their core values are similar, as they are to those of my husband and I, their parents.

Btowngirl · 22/12/2025 22:34

3 sisters and love them dearly. Get on with all of them brilliantly but one I find a bit more difficult and have to turn a blind eye/bite my tongue a bit more than I’d like.

BengalBangle · 22/12/2025 22:35

Nope, not particularly. And the feeling is mutual. We do love each other, though.

Theslummymummy · 22/12/2025 22:35

5 siblings. Only in contact with one. 3 are meh and 1 is not a nice person at all.

VickyEadieofThigh · 22/12/2025 22:37

My 9 years younger brother - love him. He's coming up with his family tomorrow and I'm excited.

My 3 years older brother - no, dislike him. Haven't seen him since our father's funeral 3 years ago.

YourZanyNewt · 22/12/2025 22:40

Older brother, 9 years older than me. He has no kids, I’ve got 2 teens. We see each other about once a yr. Nothing in common with each other, it’s awkward! He’s never been present in my kids life’s either.

Noshadelamp · 22/12/2025 22:45

No, my brother is not a nice person.

He's abusive to our mother but also the golden child-they have a very toxic relationship.

He's a compulsive liar, and has suspect relationships with and interest in younger people.

We live in different countries and I'm glad because I wouldn't have allowed him to have contact with my children.

JLou08 · 22/12/2025 22:48

Yes, I've not argued with a sibling in almost 20 years. I do have a favourite of the 2. I have a lot more in common with one of them , the other has different views, values and lifestyle but I still like him.

MrsSkylerWhite · 22/12/2025 22:49

No. Brute. Cut all contact when we had our first child. Not seen him for 30 odd years. His life story proved me right.

Arlanymor · 22/12/2025 22:50

I love her, but I don't like her - for a range of reasons stretching back a long way. I have tried very hard to give her the benefit of the doubt so many times. But the way she treats my parents is unacceptable in particular. As I say, I love her, but if we weren't related there is no way we would be friends IRL.

YourOnMute · 22/12/2025 22:50

No, another golden child situation, which has also altered my relationship with my parebts because I'll never forgive them. He's extremely selfish, not a nice person and delighted when things go wrong for me.

TheatricalLife · 22/12/2025 22:52

Love mine. We are close, message pretty much daily, do things often and live about 15 minutes drive apart. We are closer now than we were as teens for sure. We are quite different personalities, but it seems to work.

Dollymylove · 22/12/2025 22:53

Big age gap between me and youngest sibling. Doesnt like me, alcoholic who blames me for their poor life choices

thenightsky · 22/12/2025 22:54

I could have written the OP, apart from its been 30 years rather than 2.

babyproblems · 22/12/2025 22:54

No. One is a deceitful alcoholic and the other is very self absorbed. I genuinely wish I’d been an only child! I’ve only had one myself as a result. I don’t know any ‘pair’ of brothers who get on as adults, literally not one. The two I mention above also are no contact which makes life awkward for everyone in the family which to me shows how selfish the pair of them are tbh.

CaffeineChaosandCuddles · 22/12/2025 22:55

Funnily enough I just posted about mine. Slightly different reasons but my brothers a brag and loves to brag about what his 9 month old is doing that my 18 month old delayed, extremely premature deaf bay can’t 👍🏼 it’s possible not to like your sibling, just because they’re blood and forced into your life doesn’t mean they can treat you different ways and expect your life to be the same as theirs in wants, needs and opinions.

I love my brother, we see each other regularly as we are a close family… but I can’t stand him at times, especially his new sound first time father bragging attitude.

my husband can’t stand his brother on the other hand. His brother steals money from his parents ( steals I mean, they lend and they never give back… think nearly 50k yup ) and his mum works to pay his 37 year old brothers rent. Won’t let him near my kids. He’ll probably start asking my 5 year old for the money in her savings account.

SmallTortoise · 22/12/2025 22:58

I really don't like my sibling. It makes me sad but it makes me much sadder being with her.
She really hates me and her aggression, criticism and talking shit about me triggers me to feel feelings of low self worth, confusion and kicks off my depression.
So it's much better we're apart. I would never choose a friend like her. Fortunately i have lots of friends who find me acceptable so I'm ok.

YourAquaLion · 22/12/2025 22:58

Really love my sister, see her a lot and love being with her, but been through a lot with her in the past and we are so different we probably wouldn’t be friends if we met each other as regular non-related people. It’s good to mix with people completely opposite to you in a lot of ways tho. We often say if we were combined into one person we’d be normal!

MinecraftMum40 · 22/12/2025 22:59

It is a HARD NO from me!