Do you even like your adult sibling?

[Imjustwonderingnow]

We live in different countries. Used to be very close as kids. Used to speak often. Slowly over the last 2 years had numerous small arguments but really I've realised our values are just totally different. I wouldn't choose to be friends with them in real Life. So now we just tolerate each other and send messages on birthdays etc. Is this normal for some ? If you've had the same tell your story. Of course I'm saddened by it ... I miss the person they used to be. I feel they've changed into someone I cannot relate to. That's fine ....but my internal peace is more important to me so I'm low contact. Our mum we both still have contact with her separately

My brothers are wonderful. I can't imagine life without them. We have great fun together, and I haven't argued with either of them since we were children.

I have a brother and a sister. Brother is great, older and was always supportive and kind from teen years on. Lovely sense of humour, generous and warm.

He left home for uni and then lived abroad for many years so the relationships with my sister became closer, unfortunately. She is deranged and makes my life a misery. Hides it from everyone, including our brother, so I'd look like the mad, evil one if I ever brought up the vile things she's said and done to me over the years.

Have finally realised she isn't my responsibility and will be keeping her very much at arms length from here on in. 30 years into adulthood I thinks now it's me who's deranged if I keep thinking she's going to grow out of it.

Has he seen your younger brother?

I used to be very close to my sister and would’ve said we were great friends but things happened and now I have accepted that she’s my sister but not my friend. And that’s ok!

I’m not sure what I’m being asked to vote on here….

I could have written your post, it’s exactly how I feel about my sibling. Things blew up last year because they crossed the line with family. I’m under pressure to reconcile from family members to make the peace be the bigger person, they are making the effort now etc. but the effort is minimal, it’s only for show, I do not trust them because they have not acknowledged or apologised for their actions. And their actions were the ultimate shitty behaviour- think not acknowledging disabled family members. They don’t share my values and have crossed the ultimate boundary with me. When we were younger I always accepted their attitudes and appeased them believing that family ties were so important.

now I will accept their attitudes olive branch, but there’s no roots their, no remorse, no action, no accountability. So we can be cordial, polite, friendly but I will only match their efforts I will never expect a close relationship with them again.

My sister is one of my favourite people in the world. She wasn't growing up but over the years is more and more important to me.
The same thing has happened with my parents and their siblings. In their 80s they are now all each other's best friends.

No I didn't. And my only sibling has just died. Im cold about that apart from the impact to our living parent. I also cannot share in real life that this death benefits me. In many ways. I probably will seek counselling on this point alone. To be relieved that your sibling has died is a little extreme.

This is me and my brother too. Absolutely nothing in common but there is a love there.

Don't hate him, but not got much in common. Really only bother now round Christmas etc, but get on ok when we're thrown together. Only people I can think of who are close to their siblings are the same sex, and close in age. Can't think of anyone I know who's particularly close with a sibling of the opposite sex, or with a large age gap. Though most are like me and get along ok for family stuff, but don't have much relationship outside of that.

Love my sister dislike my brother

I adore my sister. We couldn’t be more different but she’s the other half of me. We speak at least once a day and I don’t know what I would do without her

My brother died on Wednesday. I loved him dearly.

I cant stand my sister and her family

I like my sibling and I think it’s mutual, but we are totally different and have absolutely nothing in common whatsoever. We’ll never be close because of that. But we get on fine.

I love my sibling completely, but I’m not friends with them. We are very different and they make choices and behave in ways I don’t agree with - nothing shocking or unforgiveable, just things that bother me and can impact my and my kids lives.

Nope,have one older sibling and our lives couldn’t be anymore different if we tried.

They are manipulative, obnoxious liars who would sell their granny for their next alcoholic drink.

not my kind of person, have been no contact for 5 years.

I have 2 siblings and the 3 of us have never really got on. We are 3 completely different characters and have completely opposing lifestyles.

I speak to my sister maybe once every couple of years at most. I rarely see her. I’ve not seen or spoken to my brother for at least 5 years. I’m pretty sure they also aren’t in contact with each other.

I don’t really give it a second thought. They just aren’t part of my life.

Yes I love my 2 years older brother. He can be a bit grumpy at times but his heart is in th3 right place and he’d always be there for me.

One brother, going on 15 years no contact. Manipulative, emotionally abusive and prejudiced with a superiority complex, yet 'charming' outside the home. I cut contact as soon as I could, and have no interest in ever seeing if his core values change. Just another person in the world sadly

They’re nice enough but we have completely different values. Hard to believe we’re related.

No, my brother is a cunt and my sister is an attention seeking flake.

Yes, I get on with my sibling.

Don't hardly see each other but speak on average twice a week on the phone

I have the opposite experience - when we were younger me and my brother hated each other and did anything we could to cause trouble for the other! But now we’re older I’m 35 he is 33 we live next door but one to each other and he’s the first person I ring when I’m having a crisis and vice versa

I had one sibling. We were best friends as kids and teens. But in our 20’s we drifted. I didn’t understand his life choices and we argued. Eventually we were nc. He died by suicide a couple of years ago. I would give anything to go back and just accept we were different but still have kept some kind of contact. Even just the bare minimum. I miss him so much even though we didn’t see each other in the few years before he died. I just think about us as kids all the time.
Dh has loads of siblings. I think he’s so lucky but they all take each other for granted.