Do you even like your adult sibling?

[Imjustwonderingnow]

We live in different countries. Used to be very close as kids. Used to speak often. Slowly over the last 2 years had numerous small arguments but really I've realised our values are just totally different. I wouldn't choose to be friends with them in real Life. So now we just tolerate each other and send messages on birthdays etc. Is this normal for some ? If you've had the same tell your story. Of course I'm saddened by it ... I miss the person they used to be. I feel they've changed into someone I cannot relate to. That's fine ....but my internal peace is more important to me so I'm low contact. Our mum we both still have contact with her separately

Judgemental much? You sound nasty. Maybe you’re the problem

Maybe I am? Maybe I should never have vented my dislike of her children's names here, even though I wouldn't in real life.

But growing up, one of my best friends was scared of her, and later, my then partner found her to be generally rude and unfriendly. So, it's not just me.

I have one full sister and two half brothers. My sister and I get on really well now having not got on when we were younger, now we have a lot of shared history and values and have one another’s backs.

I get on well with one half brother although I don’t see him often as he lives abroad. The other I am virtually NC with because he’s a narcissist and has a long history of turning family crises into opportunities for self pity and his wife is toxic. I don’t know if I will ever see him again.

I always find it bizarre when people say that its important to have siblings. Its a complete lottery as to whether you will like or have anything in common with them.

What happened? Also had a schism with my sister but i think we are slowly getting back to normal

Sister - adore her. Didn’t get on as kids because narc mum divided us deliberately but as soon as we clued ourselves into that as adults we were firm friends. Would absolutely be my bestie even if we weren’t related.
Brother - profoundly disabled so yes I love him but there’s no relationship as he’s not capable.
NB youngest sibling - much much younger so no close relationship. I love him but wouldn’t be friends with him in real life. Too young and also completely different personality to me.

Not seen my brother in three years. My nephew even longer. Never got on. Our parents are dead so it’s a shame really.

Yes, I like mine. We are all very different and have different values though

I love and like my sis. I don't think she loves me as much, though. She doesn't want to see me much. ☹️

No! Mine is an absolute turd - we were close growing up but he’s been so vile for 25+ years. Can’t wait to never have to speak to him again

I'm no contact with my brother. Well, I cut off all social contact because of him and his toxic wife, and blocked them on all social media.

I have needed to contact him on issues relating to my late mothers estate but he refuses to respond. He has lied about things and refusing to share information about a matter related to the estate.

My life is better without him and his awful wife in it. It's so odd. Because I'm not the sort of person who has drama, fallings out with people, or altercations with others. I'm known for my diplomacy. I used to feel like I had failed somehow, because of having an estranged family member, but I have no control over how he chooses to be, but I do have control over who I let into my life, and there is no space for toxic behaviours.

He is my favourite person in the whole world

Feel a bit meh about them op. We 50s. Just texts if they need something or a lift to a function for our mam. Families in my friend group they same not mad on their siblings lol. So its only if they want something)

No, I despise him. We haven't spoken in 15 years except regarding our mother's funeral. I'd have been much happier as an only child.

I don't dislike my brother. It would be very easy to resent him as my Mum always favoured him over me, but I know that's not his fault and he's never used that against me. We just don't have a whole lot in common and when my Mum nagged me to call him during Covid I told her this and apparently he said the same thing. We were very close as children but have been drifting further apart for years now, we live very different lives. I do love him but we just don't connect much.