Things my DH has found to do while we are trying to leave for Christmas

[Bluebells81]

6hr car journey to PiL today. Thought it would be good to leave in morning. Stop for lunch etc So got everyone packed and ready yesterday, or so I thought...

So far DH has filled the morning with:

1. Buying special fuel for garden tool.
2. Filling said tool with fuel on allotment.
3. Buying Xmas present for child that I could have bought yesterday if I'd known he hadn't done this.
4. Vacuuming (he never vacuums under normal circumstances)
5. Winding DCs up with playfighting to the point that everyone got sent to separate rooms.
6. Buying (separate shopping trip) extra food for pet and present for next door neighbour.
7. washing and drying a load of laundry.

I can't even pack the car because he keeps using it for his errands.

There is no end in sight to this sudden domesticity. Nearly 1pm... still a 6hr journey ahead.

Mine would deny we'd ever agreed a time. Gaslighty fucker. I'm well shot of him!

A neighbour of ours years ago would pack the family into the car ready to go then go back into the house to dust all the dust-free furniture and hoover all the carpets she'd hoovered earlier in the day while the family were at work or school. 'I can't bear the idea of returning to a dusty house' was her logic, she thoought dust only landed when they were there.

Unpack and fuck it..stay at home. Bollocks to messing about like this..

I have a husband who always needs a last minute shite as well - I expected this from children but not a grown man of nearly 50 years old 🙈

@Pusstachio Oh God, this. So much this. Except we live in a flat which is basically a long narrow corridor with bedrooms on one side and bath, living room and kitchen off the other, so we are all ricocheting off the walls in the hallway and it's like Tetris as we all have to shuffle around as the person nearest the door realises they need something (reader, they do not) and has to trek back up the corridor. On the plus side there is no upper floor for people to wander off to.

i have bowel issues and THATS what Imodium is for. It says so on the box. What it doesnt say is that it can be taken to suit other ppls timetables.

Reading this thread makes me realise what a saint I am. (Goes off to polish halo...)

Who is driving?

OP has buried her DH under the sprouts and is in the car on her way to a sunny exile in the Costa del Crime.

I’ve seen a few comments like this.

It’s got nothing to do with his perfectly working bowels.

It’s got all to do with control. He will delay and delay, as he thinks I have planned to leave too early or I’m allowing too much time for traffic.

We live in the middle of nowhere, we are often faced with road closures or bad weather. As such we have missed expensive events and concerts. Nearly missed flights.

It’s the control mechanism he has to delay me, I can’t actually argue about when his bowel is ready to go. So we leave when he wants to. I’ve often called people we are meant to be meeting to say we haven’t left yet. I’m standing there perplexed as I watch him try not to forget anything as well.

The distraction technique of housework and other things does not work on me. I will call him out on it the second he starts. I’ve walked back in on him logging back into his work laptop. The kids are also sick of waiting at home when they could be on the way to their grans.

We often don’t take him places, we’ve also gone on holiday without him. Watching him leave the house is soul destroying.

I was once doing dinner for about 8 of our friends and all their kids and my DH suggested he should sugar soap the banister? Words failed me.

You have my sympathy. My DH once decided to do a 3 hr wash of our campervan just as we were due to leave for the Channel Tunnel. His rationale? He didn't want the french people to think we are dirty beasts!

Husbands are the strangest creatures on planet earth. Mine is not too bad but will suddenly have an unquenchable desire to mow the lawn. On stranger days, he will then go shopping. its a mystery why this bug suddenly surfaces when we have a long trip.

Stranger things

Cue the horror music.

When DH was well enough to go away, we inevitably had a major row in the ten minutes before we planned to leave. Never when we were leaving our holiday place!

I actually think a lot of the time this is exactly it.

A lot of these men have very nice wives who would rather think their other halves have adhd or whatever when really they’re just selfish, controlling pricks.

It reminds me of that episode of Tales of the Unexpected where the husband actively enjoys making his DW anxious and stressed every time they need to be on time for something.

Eventually he gets locked in their elevator and she leaves (the empty house) without him for a month long holiday 😂 I recommend it!

I assume they're driving due to OP's lack of follow up posts.

I would not have been happy with his ridiculous behaviour today that was just showing you he hadn't done the things he needed to do in a timely manner (present buying) and clearly dumped everything else on you while he pissed off to do pointless things.

You need to go to assertiveness classes and sort your selfish useless husband out - how long has he been getting away with such poor behaviour?

It's this short story by Roald Dahl. "The Way Up To Heaven"

Free PDF here

I think a lot of people on this thread would find it cathartic!

The easy solution would be to agree on a departure time, firm and leave without him if he's running late.

or just delay the departure until the following day and start doing your own things too. Women can also have the urgent need to go for a run or to the gym, to go and get their nails done, or start a spreadsheet for work that will keep them busy for a couple of hours

How can anyone be ready "on time:" when there's not departure time in the first place?

DH invited his mum to stay for Christmas. He's actually been great this week with getting 'guest-ready' jobs done (like sprucing up the bathroom, last minute gift buying, cleaning windows and doing all the laundry) but the one thing I'd asked him specifically to do was clear all his painting stuff away. It's usually all over and under the kitchen table (and in a growing shitpile in the corner of the kitchen) which usually doesn't bother me but if he wants to invite people to stay, we need somewhere to feed them and put all their stuff. He's been promising me faithfully he'd set today aside to do it. 6pm he tells me that it's not like his mum will be arriving early tomorrow so he can just do it in the morning, but he can't just move the stuff, it all needs sorting and 'rationalising' as well. "It should take a maximum of 3 hours..."

I've told him if he doesn't start on it in the next hour he'd better hope it makes a comfortable bed because it'll all be on the patio with him sleeping on top of it tonight otherwise.

I didn't grow up in the UK. First Roald Dahl I ever read was a collection of short stories which included that one 😄 There was also one about a sweet old lady poisoning backpackers... and possibly the story about a woman who bludgeons her husband with a frozen leg of lamb? She then cooks the lamb and feeds it to the nice police officers investigating the murder. Murder weapon is never found 😂

These stories are all included in Tales of the Unexpected episodes - I loved that show 😂 Roald Dahl has a wonderfully wicked mind!

That’s what I’d think. I’d also say once he’s done that it’s too late too go!

Sounds like he has ADHD.
ADHD is highly genetic.
Others in his family will have it too.

NAHALT.

There are far too many women on this thread minimising the appalling behaviour of their husbands, rather than face the unpalatable
truth that they are married to an utter dick.

Far too often they will be laughing at you behind your back. They have zero respect for you or your children.