Aibu to feel annoyed in laws have invited friends over on Christmas day

[Indiaplain]

We are visiting my PiL for Christmas - they live abroad so this happens rarely. My MiL was delighted we are going. However she called DH today and casually mentioned they had also invited some friends over for Christmas Day.

Im feeling annoyed as it changes the whole dynamic. My teenage DC were not looking forward to it anyway (very long journey, not much to do there, very rural plus they are not close to the PiL) - neither was I but thought maybe a good opportunity for them to spend together, and was trying to think positively. Aibu to feel so annoyed about this?

They’re big drinkers as are most of their friends so now I’m thinking it’s going to turn into a big drunken session (MiL has brought a karaoke machine - my DC’s nightmare tbh!).

I'm sure your teenagers can cope for one day. Your PIL can invite who they want to their own house.

Maybe it will be fun

This would definitely annoy me.

They have their own lives, perhaps they always spend Christmas with them

YANBU I’d fucking hate that.

The friends may be lovely and you may have lots of fun.
Your thought process is controlling. Chill out. Their house, they can invite who they like. Show some humility, be grateful to be included and have a good time!

It could be fun but yes, definitely changed dynamic and if you’re kids are anything like mine, will leave them feeling uneasy. Are you staying with them or can vacate to the hotel when it gets bad?

When our kids were young teens we stated with some old friends who liked a drink. The kids didn’t want to go…. But had a fantastic time. It may not be so bad in reality…

Odd first comment, of course they can invite who they like to their house but it is rude to invite people and then, once they e committed to come (long way, expensive) change the plan

OP is it normal where they live to socialise on Christmas Day? Maybe they are wanting to show off the grandkids to their friends?

Id be horrified too but it might be that they want the friends to meet you rather than they are deprioritising your family

which is fine, but don't invite your grandchildren you hardly see at the same time, and only mention additional guests when all arrangements are made.

It sounds like this will help with the atmosphere tbh. Bored teenagers an grandparents they don’t really know sounds genuinely awful for all involved.

Maybe they know your kids and yourself don’t really want to go so they would rather inject some fun into it !

Your dc hate karaoke?? Why?

If, some day in the future I’m facing Christmas with two glum teenage grandchildren, I too might import some people who are fun and pleased to see me.

Maybe it will be fun but YANBU for wondering how it’s going to go.

If you are staying with them in another country, I am sure you are there for more than one day, so lots of time to spend together. Your children are teens, so it's not a child-centred Christmas. Some jollility and karaoke may well be good fun, and if the kids don't want to do it they can retire to their room.

Karaoke? Fun?
Are you on glue?

I would be sloping off to my bedroom.

I initially thought the OP was being unreasonable, but as soon as I read that there would be karaoke I'm not surprised she is pissed off. I loathe karaoke.

How long are you going there for? If it’s a very short visit, I can see why the changed dynamic might be an issue for you. If it’s a few days, though, you’ll have plenty of tome with them and I’d think it was nice that they wanted you to meet their friends.

I think at Christmas it’s the more the merrier. It sounds like it could be fun and whoever said teens shouldn’t be made to feel uncomfortable is deluded. Stepping outside their comfort zone is exactly what all teens should be doing, it’s how you learn to cope with the world.

Because it’s some people’s idea of hell. Surely you know this.

You didn’t want to go anyway and now you have another reason not to enjoy it.
Sounds like they just love a party atmosphere! God forbid the whole day isn't focused on moody teenagers.
You never know, it might even be ok.

That would annoy me too. But it's just one day (albeit Christmas day), and not everyone lives by the same social rules. I don't think there's anything you can do to improve the situation other than face it with as positive an attitude as you can muster.

‘Horrified’? That seems a bit extreme, no? It’s Christmas, and they’re having guests over for dinner - this is not in any sense abnormal behaviour.

Me too

Thanks all. I think I am a bit controlling but wish I wasn’t! My DC are not particularly moody but a bit shy esp with people they don’t know - karaoke def not for them. Board games more so.

I think it’s rude of them. You accepted the invite based on the understanding that it would be you and them. If husband is on board then say one of you is ill and stay at home.