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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to feel annoyed in laws have invited friends over on Christmas day

186 replies

Indiaplain · 21/12/2025 22:08

We are visiting my PiL for Christmas - they live abroad so this happens rarely. My MiL was delighted we are going. However she called DH today and casually mentioned they had also invited some friends over for Christmas Day.

Im feeling annoyed as it changes the whole dynamic. My teenage DC were not looking forward to it anyway (very long journey, not much to do there, very rural plus they are not close to the PiL) - neither was I but thought maybe a good opportunity for them to spend together, and was trying to think positively. Aibu to feel so annoyed about this?

They’re big drinkers as are most of their friends so now I’m thinking it’s going to turn into a big drunken session (MiL has brought a karaoke machine - my DC’s nightmare tbh!).

OP posts:
Netcurtainnelly · 22/12/2025 01:35

The more the merrier, you sound miserable.
How do you know it wont be fun.
Go with an open mind.

Orwellwasright2020 · 22/12/2025 01:52

Thoughtless and a bit shitty not much you can do now though.

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 22/12/2025 01:57

I'd probably be a bit thrown but really if you and the kids don't get on with them it might be helpful?

It also might be fun

Your MIL sounds like a riot

I would be open minded

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 22/12/2025 02:00

RampantIvy · 21/12/2025 23:16

Karaoke is never fun for those who don't like it though. The teenagers dislike it, so it won't be fun.

The teens can go do something else though -

That is the advantage of them having their mates over, the teens will have to spend less time being nice to granny aka harmonising Last Christmas with her

Thirdtimeunlucky2025 · 22/12/2025 02:13

Can you take a game that a group of people would enjoy (Pictionary perhaps) that you know DC would like. Ive just bought Encrypted UK for DP to hopefully liven up what might be a tedious Christmas.

(we also like the Timeline games, rhino hero, and trading post)

deadbobaplace · 22/12/2025 02:18

Take the kids for a walk while the drunken old people entertain each other? Their friends probably have nowhere else to go. I suggest noise-cancelling headphones and strategic illnesses if it all gets too much.

There will be other Christmases. It really doesn't matter in the scheme of things if this particular one is a bit rubbish.

Shedeboodinia · 22/12/2025 02:24

Are they expats? If so it would be very normal to invite a bunch of people over and make it a party. Embrace the fun and atmosphere. Teens will be sulky anyway. Theres not going to be much open to do, everyone is stuck in the house. Karaoke sounds like a fun idea. Maybe your teens will give it a go? I would be choosing my song already.

IhateHPSDeaneCnt · 22/12/2025 03:00

You and moody Teens sound like massive fun - not. No wonder your PILs have invited friends to their home as a buffer.

PluckyChancer · 22/12/2025 03:12

Yes, I’d be pissed off too in your shoes.

We live abroad and I can’t imagine inviting friends for Christmas Day when the kids and grandkids are staying (unless it’s a good friend who needs the company).

Let the teen stay in their bedroom for most of the day if they wish. You can join them when the in-laws get pissed and start the Karaoke nonsense. 🤪

Tamtim · 22/12/2025 03:14

That’s so annoying. Hopefully food is served early enough that you don’t have to stay into the evening.

LemaxObsessive · 22/12/2025 03:25

I would cancel.. You suddenly got flu

comfyshoes2022 · 22/12/2025 03:42

I’m surprised by the negative responses are negative. I would have thought the more the merrier, particularly under the circumstances where you and the teenagers aren’t that close with the PILs. Maybe the friends would otherwise be alone.

YellowCherry · 22/12/2025 03:49

YANBU - you are making the effort to travel abroad and were expecting to spend quality time with family, not some random people you've never met. They could presumably see these friends any other day of the year.

Tpu · 22/12/2025 04:26

It is beyond controlling to presume to control the guest list at someone else’s house. Who the hell do you think you are?

Also, your teenagers have obviously not learned how to be good guests yet, this is a good time to learn.

And as for those recommending you get flu to avoid interacting with random strangers: grow the fuck up and stop behaving with a complete dick.

ttcat37 · 22/12/2025 04:40

YANBU it sounds dreadful. Think I’d be inclined to cancel the trip- if they only rarely see you all and can’t prioritise the chance to spend time with their GC over friends then I would not make the effort to travel there. Get a Sainsbury’s Christmas dinner in a box and enjoy yourselves!

Lyraloo · 22/12/2025 04:40

FionnulaTheCooler · 21/12/2025 22:12

I'm sure your teenagers can cope for one day. Your PIL can invite who they want to their own house.

If someone invites you for Christmas, it would be polite to inform you who else was going to be there! Their home or not, it’s common decency. Everyone can then decide if they are happy with the dynamic or not.

wineosaurusrex · 22/12/2025 04:44

YABU. Such a negative attitude. Why be so pessimistic?? Also - grumpy teen is grumpy. Shocking! Teens rarely think hanging out with relatives/older people for extended periods is fun. That doesn't mean they get to dictate what others do.

superchick · 22/12/2025 04:54

Lamentingalways · 21/12/2025 22:46

I think it’s rude of them. You accepted the invite based on the understanding that it would be you and them. If husband is on board then say one of you is ill and stay at home.

Now that is rude.

Whatever happened to trying to make the most of a situation, teaching kids some social skills and resilience. It might be fun, you might just possibly enjoy yourself and if not, nothing bad will happen, its still an opportunity for kids to get to know grandparents and for your family to do something different for xmas this year.

SouthernNights59 · 22/12/2025 04:59

Some of you really don't understand what Christmas is all about.

Your PILs can invite whoever they like to their house. Honestly, it's one day surely you can all suck it up and at least pretend to enjoy it.

mamabluestar · 22/12/2025 05:00

ttcat37 · 22/12/2025 04:40

YANBU it sounds dreadful. Think I’d be inclined to cancel the trip- if they only rarely see you all and can’t prioritise the chance to spend time with their GC over friends then I would not make the effort to travel there. Get a Sainsbury’s Christmas dinner in a box and enjoy yourselves!

I completely agree with this. I usually agree with your house your rules, but it's the lack of priorities that makes me think YANBU. I know that my teens would hate it too - not that they are moody or rude, just that they can be a bit socially awkward and are exhausted from the last term at school/college.

SouthernNights59 · 22/12/2025 05:01

Lyraloo · 22/12/2025 04:40

If someone invites you for Christmas, it would be polite to inform you who else was going to be there! Their home or not, it’s common decency. Everyone can then decide if they are happy with the dynamic or not.

Show quote history

Well surely OP's family has been informed, otherwise they wouldn't know the friends were coming. What did they want, a year's notice? If my family decided they didn't want to come to my house for Christmas because someone else was going to be there it would be the last time I hosted them.

Tpu · 22/12/2025 05:06

How long is the whole visit, OP?

localbutterfly · 22/12/2025 05:25

You've obviously planned this substantial-sounding (abroad, rural area, very long journey) trip for a reason; your hosts also hosting someone else for dinner one day that you're there shouldn't change that. Is it possible that you didn't want to go in the first place and are now looking for confirmation of your position? If the children have sensory issues around karaoke, could your husband mention that to his parents and prep them a little so there's no misunderstanding if the children don't participate? If you feel that the trip is overall unappealing, can you perhaps build in a day or two of more interesting activities - although PILs live rurally, you're likely travelling through a busier place to get to them and could break up the very long journey, perhaps on the way home?

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 22/12/2025 05:28

RampantIvy · 21/12/2025 23:16

Karaoke is never fun for those who don't like it though. The teenagers dislike it, so it won't be fun.

It’s not all about the teenagers though?

Shoxfordian · 22/12/2025 05:43

Take some board games for the teenagers, hace a few drinks and join in

Yabu