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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For leaving my boyfriend in the frozen isle

747 replies

Sadly11 · 21/12/2025 15:27

I came to stay with him for the week to spend Christmas together (3 hours by train) Yesterday we went food shopping because he didn’t have any food in. He’s always been very clear that food shopping is super triggering for him so normally he orders online but this week he hadn’t and we were starving.

On the way he even joked that this could end badly and we might break up. Haha. Because nothing says comedy like foreshadowing your own relationship ending in the frozen isle

Anyway, we get there and he’s acting manic. He kept grabbing my chest, pulling my skirt up (not fully but still uncomfortable) he’s making gestures with his penis and making inappropriate comments, there were kids around. People noticed. Embarrassing doesn’t even cover it. I told him to stop, and he countered with loudly accusing me of being embarrassed of him which just drew more attention.

I tried to soldier on because maybe this is his coping mechanism. We’re almost done, he asks a question about which salmon we should choose. I zone out. He snaps at me, says you’re supposed to be helping, you know how hard this is for me. I remind him I have been helping but he keeps pushing. People are staring again so I say I’m not having an argument with you in the fish aisle, I will walk out if you don’t stop.

Then in the frozen aisle he snaps again at me because I said I don’t want ice cream and earlier I had said I wanted ice cream. so I just walked out. Left him there with a trolley full of food and walked back to his.
Back at his house he shuts himself away on the sofa. I went to bed alone. Today I try to talk to him, he wants to be left alone and doesn’t want to talk to me, apparently walking out was the worst thing I could have done. I abandoned him in the most triggering environment possible, what I did was shocking to him, he doesn’t want to talk to me, doesn’t want to spend Christmas with me anymore and when pushed if he wants to break up says he said he hasn’t thought about it and just wants to be left alone.
oh and it gets better, it’s my Birthday tomorrow, we had plans for him to take me to dinner, he said he won’t kick me out on my birthday (how lovely) but will continue sleeping on the sofa and I should let him know when he should drop me back off at the station.

He’s currently asleep now on the sofa. What a wonderful birthday present. He’s essentially broken up with me the day before my Birthday. I don’t know the area, it’s far too late to make any plans for either my birthday or Christmas. I don’t know when I’ll go home, I have a parcel coming to his house tomorrow morning and I’m pretty certain I’ll never be back so I think I need to stay here for that and then do the 3 hour train ride back on my Birthday, alone, to then spend Christmas alone. Plus I haven’t slept yet and my eyes are all swollen and puffy from crying so I don’t know if I fancy doing the journey back in this state.

OP posts:
Sahara123 · 21/12/2025 17:45

I have to be honest, he sounds like a complete loon …

Muffinmam · 21/12/2025 17:45

Sadly11 · 21/12/2025 15:40

Word for word last message he sent me

I don’t care if I dropped my pants and helicoptered my knob in the veg aisle, you doing that was fucking shocking to me. However minor and unimportant it no doubt is to you. So I remain fuvking furious and upset, and, for the last time, shattered. Can I be left alone now

What an absolute tosser!!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 21/12/2025 17:45

Even if he was ‘struggling’, @Rosealea, how, in the name of all that is good, does that excuse him grabbing her boobs in the supermarket, or making lewd comments?

He is a grown up, and could have used his grown up words to say “I’m struggling - can you carry on while I go and take some time to calm down?” - but he didn’t - he chose to behave like a Neanderthal.

333FionaG · 21/12/2025 17:45

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Are you being serious? I hope not.

Daleksatemyshed · 21/12/2025 17:45

Well to be frank there is something wrong with him, very wrong, no one behaves like that just because they're in a supermarket. I wish you a very happy birthday and run for the bloody hills girl, you can do so much better than this

PuppyMonkey · 21/12/2025 17:45

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Grin
monkeysox · 21/12/2025 17:45

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BoxesBoxesEverywhere · 21/12/2025 17:46

you behaved disgracefully
Yeah, so would I if my DH started trying to lift my skirt up in the middle of the supermarket and sexually gesturing 🙄

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 21/12/2025 17:46

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There is always one bat shit crazy one on every thread...(or is this ironic?)!

BoxesBoxesEverywhere · 21/12/2025 17:47

PuppyMonkey · 21/12/2025 17:45

Grin

Yeah, best response, I sadly bit 😁
I retract my comment to a biscuit instead Biscuit

Topseyt123 · 21/12/2025 17:48

Sadly11 · 21/12/2025 15:40

Word for word last message he sent me

I don’t care if I dropped my pants and helicoptered my knob in the veg aisle, you doing that was fucking shocking to me. However minor and unimportant it no doubt is to you. So I remain fuvking furious and upset, and, for the last time, shattered. Can I be left alone now

I'd be telling him that yes, he can be left alone. Permanently because I would be finishing the relationship forthwith. Then I would just block him on everything.

What a stupid wanker. Of you dump him now then I think you will have dodged a bullet. He's showing you who he really is now. Listen to him. You'll be glad you did.

outerspacepotato · 21/12/2025 17:48

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God forbid a man develops trauma from loudly and clearly sexually assaulting his gf multiple times in a supermarket in front of kids and adults. 🙄

BoxesBoxesEverywhere · 21/12/2025 17:48

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 21/12/2025 17:46

There is always one bat shit crazy one on every thread...(or is this ironic?)!

Maybe the OPs bloke has finally stopped wanging on about willy helicoptering or taking time out of his sulking to post on here lol

Applecup · 21/12/2025 17:48

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I’m struggling to see how being in an environment where he feels vulnerable means he can get his knob out and squeeze her breasts.

NettleTea · 21/12/2025 17:48

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wow.
Just wow.

the bloke knew she was coming over for the week, and travelling 3 hours to get there, to spend her birthday and Christmas with him.

He couldnt be arsed to get any food in the house. They were, as OP said, 'starving'.

He then proceeded to grope her and gesticulate with his penis towards her in the supermarket, drawing attention to himself and kicking off when she told him to stop.

He then provoked 2 arguments, and she clearly stated she would leave if he started again, then did so.

Why did he not tell her himself that he felt overwhelmed and was going to wait outside.

Why did he not actually have some food in his house in the first place.

_nellie_ · 21/12/2025 17:50

You don’t need to be in a relationship with anyone that’s triggered by a food shop. Go home. I’d rather die alone then experience a relationship like this

PGmicstand · 21/12/2025 17:51

Sadly11 · 21/12/2025 15:40

Word for word last message he sent me

I don’t care if I dropped my pants and helicoptered my knob in the veg aisle, you doing that was fucking shocking to me. However minor and unimportant it no doubt is to you. So I remain fuvking furious and upset, and, for the last time, shattered. Can I be left alone now

He sounds like a complete arse who doesn't care about anyone but himself.
Going to the supermarket makes him act like a 12 year old boy that's just watched porn? Pathetic.
Wait for your parcel, go home, and remove this moron from your future.

BoxesBoxesEverywhere · 21/12/2025 17:51

Applecup · 21/12/2025 17:48

I’m struggling to see how being in an environment where he feels vulnerable means he can get his knob out and squeeze her breasts.

I read it like he was just gesturing to it, not actually getting it out. (Not that that makes it much better)
The former you'd have thought security would have at least booted him out or somebody called the police.

pointythings · 21/12/2025 17:52

BoxesBoxesEverywhere · 21/12/2025 17:44

WTAF, victim blaming much

I think the boyfriend has found the thread.

BeeHive909 · 21/12/2025 17:52

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Oh piss off. How dare you. Op has done nothing wrong. He doesn’t need supporting as he quite happily got the food when she wasn’t there so he can support himself. Did you also read that he was sexually assaulting her?

justasking111 · 21/12/2025 17:53

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 21/12/2025 17:36

Run, run for the station and the hills. Best thing that could have happened to you - you don't know it yet, but you will and we all do!!!

This.

He's a fruit loop. You've had a lucky get out of jail card.

happysinglemama · 21/12/2025 17:53

Divert the parcel to your home or leave it!! Go home I wouldn't stick around for that shite!!

CosmicUnderpants · 21/12/2025 17:54

Is he 5? You are not a therapy centre for difficult boyfriends! Tell him to fuck off. You deserve better on your birthday.

CantBreathe90 · 21/12/2025 17:54

I briefly considered leaving my children in the frozen section today, because they wouldn't stop kicking each other and calling each other "bum-bum head". I'm responsible for them though, so reluctantly finished the shop with them in tow and took them back home. If they'd been literally anyone else, they would have been ditched off without a seconds hesitation.

Ime, anyone who uses the word "triggering" is worth taking pains to avoid. Either they're narcissistic, or genuinely tragic but a PITA nonetheless. Go out with someone less mental x

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 21/12/2025 17:55

Did ye, aye 😂

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