To think that some women care more about their careers than their families and that this isn’t always a good thing?

[ThatRedBeaker]

Not trying to start a war but I’ve noticed a growing trend where some women (not all!) seem to put their career above everything, including their partner or kids. Obviously, everyone has the right to pursue success but I do wonder if there’s a point where it becomes too much. Like… is it unreasonable to think that some people might be prioritising the wrong things?

Genuinely curious what others think.

No. Make it so both mums and dads can work part-time and flexibly.

Maybe mums don't want to be back in the home dependent on a man and/or benefits.

They do it’s called AI.

Men’s trade offs are more criticised? Are you joking?
Women are criticised for working, and for not.

’Some people’ do all sorts of things that we can make judgey generalisations about.

Ad it happens I see woman after woman compromise her own career and thus her financial independence. And it spirals on and on after kids.
She goes part time after maternity leave, then they move ‘for DH’s job’ ( hers is no longer worth staying for) , she eventually finds a new job but at a lower salary and seniority. Lower salary so SHE is the one always asking for a day off when the kids are ill. She can only take a job that guys around school run and school holidays.

She misses out on promotion, professional development.

He earns more so feels happy to let her do the bigger share of parenting and domestic work.

And women who simply work hard to maintain the professional achievement they are capable of get slagged off by peoplelike the OP.

I am a woman who had an absorbing and demanding job, worked myself ragged working and parenting, and DH did the same. We respected and supported each others work.

I once got a lecture on ‘work life balance’ from my BIL with a blatant subtext of ‘you don’t prioritise your children aka DH’s time off’ who then asked me to have his kids for the week when SIL went on a training course.

My own view is I see too many posts the other way these days , women thinking their 10 hours a week paid work is more than sufficient but then moaning about benefits or family struggling - and often putting themselves in a vulnerable position by having no recent employable skills or not being married and no savings fund etc or relying on benefits and maintanance too much which will at some point stop - don’t get me wrong, if you are well off and if it all goes pear shaped you will be fine then I kind of understand why you might prefer as a family to have a traditional set up - but so many women don’t have those kind of protections and in my opinion make themselves vulnerable

Not trying to start a war but I’ve noticed a growing trend
Where have you noticed this "trend"?

I was made redundant when DC was 18 months old.

I was then nearly made redundant again just after giving birth to DC2.

If I do anything to develop my skills and ‘career’, it’s purely for job security rather than progression.

I'm not sure the OP really understands the dynamics of careers, especially women's careers.

Most women don't set out at aged 22 to be the vice president of their multi-national company.

They just want to get to the next level, ie a promotion in 2 - 3 years. Rinse and repeat.

Putting restrictions on your career is rarely successful, ie declaring that you are happy being in such and such a job. You are expected to want growth. If you want to stay where you are, you will end up be reporting to someone really naff, and really not enjoying your job.

Besides, it is good for children to see the real cost of their cosy upbringing. It's far better than being in a dead-end existence.

OP was talking about women specifically. Obviously the choice should be between the parents but this shit is never aimed at men, and we're expected to lose out financially for someone else's ideal

Men have been doing that for centuries so why do you have any issue with women having choices and deciding how they want to live their lives?

You can choose to focus on family life only if that works for you. Others are perfectly right to choose to live differently...

Any opinion on men????

Of course it would affect society if people prioritised their career over their family. Parents working won't negatively affect society, but if everyone put their career first and that resulted in children being neglected and feeling unloved there would be a huge impact on society.

I think a lot of working women have been triggered by this. I work, I enjoy work and it's important. It's not as important as my family though. I will only work past 5.30pm if it's an emergency, I take all the leave I'm entitled to so I can have family time and if my child is too ill for school I will not work.
My workload is immense and catching up after leave is very stressful. If work was my priority I would be working much later and I would be logging on during leave, but I know that would negatively impact my family so I don't do it.

Who invited ChatGPT?

Surely the problem is men society.

Woman are still expected to be holding the baby while hoovering the parlour.

But are equally expected to go to work and bring in a decent wage, because no family can survive on one wage these days.
Plus throughout the centuries women have always worked. So the holding the baby is just another perfect world marketing gimmick.

You are right of course, Op. women should NOT have careers full stop- anything that detracts from them fully applying themselves to their role of supporting and facilitating others should categorically not be allowed. In fact for the good of society women should be banned from working when they have kids. Maybe even when they get married - you hear of way too many errant wives these days who enjoy doing out for bottomless brunches with their pals when they should be home cooking and cleaning for their poor husbands
@ThatRedBeaker

Ah good that you are “genuinely curious” and
not just here to stir shit.

Why have you pinpointed women only? What about men? Why shouldn’t women have a career??

Why is it only women doing this that worry you OP?

What event was this? Sounds like the speakers totally missed the brief and were anything but inspiring!

My hand is up. I prioritise my career because it supports my family. If I didn’t we wouldn’t have anywhere near the life we want. It’s completely irrelevant that I am female.

Maybe you just hear about people's careers, because its more interesting (or less personal - depending on your relationship with them) to discuss them and not their day to day family home life.

I tend to bring up the exciting/stimulating parts of my job with others and vice versa, because its more interesting than discussing my DD breakfast preferences and what my husband bought me for valentines day.

Or maybe you're jealous because whilst you're doing some boring shit job 3 days a week... you've got mates who are travelling the world, doing great things with their careers and the only comfort you have, is to tell yourself that you're home every day at 4pm because you.are.such.a.good.mum.

I highly doubt there are many (if any) women out there who care about their career more than they care about their children.

Some people just can't fathom that an adult can care about more than one thing at a time. I'm guessing you fall into this category.

Another total load of bullshit from an OP that no doubt doesn't exist...

spot on!

My husband and I have never worried about this. We are competent adults who can progress at work and have a great family life. Neither of us have felt guilty about this and genuinely love our lives.