To think that some women care more about their careers than their families and that this isn’t always a good thing?

[ThatRedBeaker]

Not trying to start a war but I’ve noticed a growing trend where some women (not all!) seem to put their career above everything, including their partner or kids. Obviously, everyone has the right to pursue success but I do wonder if there’s a point where it becomes too much. Like… is it unreasonable to think that some people might be prioritising the wrong things?

Genuinely curious what others think.

I can't relate to that at all. I'm not fighting anything and don't feel guilty for having a career and working full time either.

Nah, I don't regret working hard to put myself in a position where I can support my DC, give them a good life and never have to rely on a man.

And I'm also glad that my DC sees my as a positive, hard working and successful role model.

I never felt guilty either. I had nothing to feel guilty about. My dd was always well cared for, we have an incredibly close relationship and she was obviously thriving.

I honestly don't care whether people SAH or WOH, or any combination thereof. It makes no difference to me. I do, however, find it rather pathetic to see grown women trying to trash other women's choices in order to feel better about their own.

Just do your thing. Be a good parent whether you WOH or SAH, and your kids will be fine.

Brilliant idea. Hands on mum would be good too!

There were plenty of of men in the places DH and I worked who timed their arrival home to miss bath time.

This is not at all representative of how I experience people talking about ‘men’s trade-offs’. Mainly because I rarely hear them discussed at all.

Exactly. Stay at home parents just go about their day.

It’s 2025, the cost of living in itself means few women now don’t work at all. More want independence and can earn well. Given the number of relationships that break down, that’s wise.

My mum prioritised her career over her family. It wasn’t just that she had a successful career and less time for us than a SAHM. It was full emotional abandonment and complete lack of contribution to the home in any other way. My dad raised us solo. She’d come home from work and go straight into her bed. Weekends my dad took us to activities while she rested. She only did things with us if they were things she specifically wanted to do, often not kid friendly. She just wasn’t maternal at all and had kids to satisfy an obligation she felt she had. So yes I do think some women do it but not in the way most of the pp will mean.

I didn’t have an option except to take a lower-paying job and top it up with working tax credits. 20-odd years later my mortgage is paid and DC is an independent adult with a better career than me.

And this sounds like most men from about a generation ago and still too many today if MN threads are anything to go by!

I should image your mother would have been just as bad a mother if she hadn't had a career - just more unhappy. My MIL never worked outside the home but was a pretty hopeless mum according to her children. My DH's childhood memories are all of activities with his lovely dad - who worked full time. Whether you are a good and present parent or emotionally neglectful is not related, and never has been, to whether you work outside the home.

It's the same for working parents too. If their child is ill at school or nursery, they will make arrangements to pick them up and be there for their child.