To have told DP to get off his fucking arse and go get the salmon terrine!!!

[Salmongate]

Lighthearted very serious ramble 🤣

So I am hosting Xmas. Getting xyz for all variants of catering needs and tastes.

The ONE bloody thing for ME is a Salmon Platter featuring a Salmon Terrine. This is very important!

Salmon Gate is very competitive on the shelves. Due to the short shelf life of salmon pates it’s a bit of military coordination.

There is one acceptable salmon pate in the country. I know I have tried everyone. In the dark hours of last eve I have been informed the 25th dated drop for that was 3am this morning. Apparently in good quantity so later today I will sidle down to secure the pate.

I have perused the terrine options. On my late night travels last night I have scoped out all the salmon terrine options and drop times/ quantities. My most preferred option of which is the M&S terrine; now available as of 10.30 this morning. We have a small store so competition is on; lest I have to trek ungodly distance!

I tell DP he needs to get up and be there for its opening. 10.30 comes and goes! I say you are skating on thin ice! GET OFF YOUR BLOODY ARSE. Raised voices may have been applied.

Anyway he’s just left. Will he secure the goods? Has he left it too late? Will I be touring the country later today?

Dear reader please send safe Salmon wishes. I actually do feel quite some stress about this 😅

You are being ott OP

I make my own fat free option by whizzing smoked salmon into quark with lemon juice, dill & black pepper added to taste. Good luck with your quest!

Well done him. It looks nice. I think you can make it quite easily if you can be arsed. But I get that this one has a specific flavour and texture you enjoy.

There is actually one in stock at our local M&S. I need never worry about gentrification round here. 🤣

Farmed salmon is foul. They are kept in cages, when all they want to do is swim free. Because of the thousands of salmon kept unnaturally in cages, they have to be dosed with pesticides to keep the sea lice off. The cages stink from afar. Don't eat farmed salmon.

https://www.nhm.ac.uk/discover/the-problem-of-sea-lice-in-salmon-farms.html

After cowspiracy, and seaspiracy; my partner said wait till they do vegspiracy. All the food is fucked, and the water too. The air actually aswell.

But here we are so let’s make the most of this short life 🤷‍♀️

Thankyou 🙏 going to look for some yellow sticker to experiment 🧪

There's no 'spricacy' to it. Just plain facts. Farmed salmon is a pesticided cruelty. You're eating the equivalent to the worst kind of factory farmed chicken mulch.

What time is this "dead of night shopping round robin" please? AFAICS no one is open in the dead of night anymore.

I don't even really do this kind of shopping but I very much enjoyed your presentation here @Salmongate both the thread and the fact that you put the items on the tree.

Codspeed, OP.

Yay 😁 well done husband And well done you for your dedication to sourcing Xmas delights.
I'd have bought the salmon paste in the wee jar 😁 😁 😁

Do you know who I feel sorry for? The merchandisers at Fortum & Mason and the like. I have never before wanted a terrine of anything, but seeing them shoved into a Christmas tree had sparked something in me. Get it in the Louvre

This insane thread has cheered me right up and wonder if I too need to get off my arse and source the terrine and pate?!

I'm just having visions of a load of people in the aisles of Marks's bashing each other over the heads and knocking each other's teeth out with heavy bags as they all scrabble for the one remaining salmon terrine. Oh the horror !

Right well the level of commitment you have shown is admirable - please can you find me some bloody Chantenay Carrots - every year there is an empty space everywhere where they are supposed to be - it’s like everyone realised they liked them about 5 years ago and the supermarkets never updated their stock levels 🤷🏼‍♀️

They were shutting Waitrose 9, Aldi 10, Sainsbury’s and marks 11, Tesco 12 so it worked out I was in each store last hour or so of shopping. It was a wonderful peaceful commerce experience, no ques (apart from at Aldi) and I wanted individual things from each shop so I just went round them all.

For generic items I researched best price for each item on my list. First time I have done it like that but I would do that again actually. Probably could have cut out Sainsbury’s and Tesco. But needed to know the pate drop time at Sainsbury’s and Tesco was on the way back so I went to browse their picky bit offers. Bonkers 🤪

@Miaminmoo saw them in Waitrose and Sainsbury’s. You need to get out on the 20th night shop next year!

I have just added some salmon canapés to my tesco order tomorrow after reading this thread!

I’m so glad his mission was a success!
Have a wonderful Christmas 🎄

99.99% of the salmon on sale in this country is lice-ridden, antibiotic-filled, dyed pink flabby farmed mush, unethically raised in rancid over-crowded situations akin to what we used to see in battery hens. The RSPCA Assured accreditation that M&S leans on to justify its 'Responsibly sourced' claim isn't worth the paper it's written on. Scottish salmon farming is an animal rights travesty and environmentally ruinous - it's contributing to the collapse of wild salmon stock, along with climate change.

Yes, I am here to piss all over your favourite Christmas food. But if salmon isn't line caught - if its farmed - it's not a muscular beast. It's a hot fat mess.

@Salmongate oh thank you
When I lived in London, it was pretty normal for me to be shopping at 10 pm

I much prefer where I live now, but I had to redo my shopping hours!

Wishing I’d read this thread before I went to Markies this afternoon 😂 🐟

Lightheartedly could the salmon activists please vacate the thread 🫣

This is the salmon appreciation society and we do advocate for salmon laser parties over antibiotics 👌

Hell I could do with a laser myself. Been looking at Baroness Brady’s face and it’s quite impressive. Kudos to you if your out their Brady 😉

But, OP, was it really ‘responsibly sourced’ like it says on the label?

How do you know it wasn’t the last one and your partner needed to kick off and start a civil disturbance - if not a full-on riot - to secure the position?

Well you have forced me a google. And apparently M&S haven’t used antibiotics for 8 years. So that’s a relief.

corporate.marksandspencer.com/newsroom/blog/what-makes-ms-salmon-responsibly-sourced

My partner on the other hand. I did tell him he best bring the goods home. So what happens in M&S stays in M&S and I couldn’t say. But the stakes were high so… 😅

My salmon story is that I got a terrine half price because it was on its last day at Aldi last Monday. It was unbelievably delicious and it lasted me four days. So I ate it 3 days out of date, and I am still here (and it was still delicious. After all, smoked salmon has been smoked. It ought to keep a little while).