To have told DP to get off his fucking arse and go get the salmon terrine!!!

[Salmongate]

Lighthearted very serious ramble 🤣

So I am hosting Xmas. Getting xyz for all variants of catering needs and tastes.

The ONE bloody thing for ME is a Salmon Platter featuring a Salmon Terrine. This is very important!

Salmon Gate is very competitive on the shelves. Due to the short shelf life of salmon pates it’s a bit of military coordination.

There is one acceptable salmon pate in the country. I know I have tried everyone. In the dark hours of last eve I have been informed the 25th dated drop for that was 3am this morning. Apparently in good quantity so later today I will sidle down to secure the pate.

I have perused the terrine options. On my late night travels last night I have scoped out all the salmon terrine options and drop times/ quantities. My most preferred option of which is the M&S terrine; now available as of 10.30 this morning. We have a small store so competition is on; lest I have to trek ungodly distance!

I tell DP he needs to get up and be there for its opening. 10.30 comes and goes! I say you are skating on thin ice! GET OFF YOUR BLOODY ARSE. Raised voices may have been applied.

Anyway he’s just left. Will he secure the goods? Has he left it too late? Will I be touring the country later today?

Dear reader please send safe Salmon wishes. I actually do feel quite some stress about this 😅

My christmas isn't complete without the M&S salmon terrine either - and my DH is well aware of this.

So glad your DH has come home with the goods.

I absolutely love the Xmas tree presentations.

Omg I loved it!

If you did a whole day shift you got a meal free at lunch. Either from the set menu or you could ask kitchen what stock they had to use up of and maybe bag yourself a salmon ‘ashet?’ with chips. Or the fish soup was also incredible! The smoked haddock on mash. Rainbow trout!

My mouths watering now I might need to go eat my pate 😂

They did indeed - I remember it fondly.

I just went and got the salmon terrine I had no plans to get until I read this stupid post. Lol

lol at sour créme

I think it’s Scottish word but that’s probably the origin. It’s a big plate (pretty sure I’ve heard my mum use the word, I don’t own big enough plates to think about it).

I was working in a bakery shop - in Scotland - and someone asked me for an ashet pie. I didn't have a clue so I played a sort of guessing game with an increasingly irate customer. D'you mean this? <Points to random item.> No!! D'you mean that? <Points to another item.> No!!!

It was a bit traumatic!

Salmon terrine is sooooo easy to make and takes no time at all. If it was THAT important I would just make it!!! But yeah I’m sure there are more important jobs you could put his way lazy so and so.

Go on then let’s hear these salmon terrine/ pate recipes.

I can’t bring myself to experimently blitz full price salmon - but I usually see some reduced post Xmas so perhaps it’s worth a go then to learn how for next year.

I will warn I am a very poor blitzer! I have attempted pesto a bunch a times and it’s always bloody awful.

Why do some women think they sound cool and relaxed to say they've not planned or shopped yet and they'll just get what's left? The planners don't affect what you do so don't try and put them down.

Sorry! I hope you like it 🫣

Never thought I'd see 'salmon terrine' used in a threatening manner 🤣🤣🤣

Isn’t a terrine layered with different textures (I might be wrong as I don’t know much about them either 😁). So a mousse layer, a jelly layer, a pate layer, that type of thing.

Googling it, it seems it more to do with the loaf shaped tin it’s made in 🤷‍♀️

I really wish I’d got one now for the buffet, never crossed my mind before this thread.

When I was about twenty I thought I’d be really cool and do all my Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve (day). What a bloody nightmare 😁. That was back in the 80s and it can still make me shudder. The crowds, the stress, the exhaustion, the heavy bags, never ever again (long before online shopping so no choice but to trudge the shops).

Thank you for posting this thread, it's made my day.
I have to say I'm worried for you. Surely your DH should have got two, because, well after all that trauma, possibly you're going to be tempted to partake right now? Thus ensuring he has to go out foraging again another day? 😁

Thank Joseph,Mary and the baby Jesus for such sweet relief

Glad you got your terrine OP! I'm sitting here with smoked salmon envy...it's one of my favourite parts of Christmas food as well and my treat to myself but I'm pregnant so no smoked salmon technically allowed this year and I have irrational feelings about it 🤣

Don’t panic, I’ve been veggie for twenty years, and even in my meat eating days, no pets were consumed.

Omg my condolences! I was pregnant for 2 of the past 5 years over Xmas and it is devastating.

Heres my second best Christmas platter recipe which I would have when pregnant.

https://www.hellofresh.co.uk/recipes/market/serrano-ham-and-goats-cheese-charcuterie-board-651f7408be675f371f8ac3de

You have to have the goats cheese with no rind.

I have previously had toxoplasmosis so was able to have cured meats. But I think you can eat 18 month + cured Parma or Iberian/ Serrano (24 month cured). Do check that though!

Recommend the Bonne Mamman violet fig & shallot chutney to go with it. Cheapest this year at Waitrose - £1.80. Or £2 with nectar card

And merry congratulations!

Not a competitor as i have a serious fish allergy and salmon in any form would result in death but i am intrigued as to how you know times of items hitting the shelves?!
Also 5 supermarkets?!? Why?? I really hope after all your effort you get your salmon 🤞🏻

Just saw you got your stuff!!! Amazing 😂

Am I the only person that doesn’t know what a salmon terrine is???

My top salmon pate recipe is

smoked salmon (trimmings or off cuts are great for this)
cream cheese
double cream
(or instead of cream cheese & cream you can just use crème fraiche, if you’ve got that)
Squeeze of lemon.
black pepper

Bung this in a mini food processor, whizz up, taste, adjust proportions as required. Serve with hot toast.

thats it.