To have told DP to get off his fucking arse and go get the salmon terrine!!!

[Salmongate]

Lighthearted very serious ramble 🤣

So I am hosting Xmas. Getting xyz for all variants of catering needs and tastes.

The ONE bloody thing for ME is a Salmon Platter featuring a Salmon Terrine. This is very important!

Salmon Gate is very competitive on the shelves. Due to the short shelf life of salmon pates it’s a bit of military coordination.

There is one acceptable salmon pate in the country. I know I have tried everyone. In the dark hours of last eve I have been informed the 25th dated drop for that was 3am this morning. Apparently in good quantity so later today I will sidle down to secure the pate.

I have perused the terrine options. On my late night travels last night I have scoped out all the salmon terrine options and drop times/ quantities. My most preferred option of which is the M&S terrine; now available as of 10.30 this morning. We have a small store so competition is on; lest I have to trek ungodly distance!

I tell DP he needs to get up and be there for its opening. 10.30 comes and goes! I say you are skating on thin ice! GET OFF YOUR BLOODY ARSE. Raised voices may have been applied.

Anyway he’s just left. Will he secure the goods? Has he left it too late? Will I be touring the country later today?

Dear reader please send safe Salmon wishes. I actually do feel quite some stress about this 😅

It matches your Christmas decor beautifully! 😂

God lord! Just went to Sainsbury’s to get the only ready made pate worth having…

And only ONE left dated 27th 😱 I was aiming for 2. However happy with my one.

Last night the drop came in with two boxes! Nearly all gone!

So I also got myself one to eat today because all this talk of salmon is too much 🥳

Artfully presented. I can announce best pate is…

M&S if you read this I am expecting commission… or you to personally ring fence my terrine for next year 🙏

Why do some women do this to themselves? I have a large-ish crowd every Christmas and have never gone to this much trouble.

Stop winding yourself up into a tizzy and stop being a martyr. Unless really you enjoy it of course in which case you can’t really complain.

I must admit this thread is making me want to nip out for salmon terrine -yum-

Last eve on my dead of night shopping round robin I asked each of the stores staff very nicely when they expected their shipments. So diligent ground investigative work 🕵️

I am LOVING the artfully placed xmas food in the tree 🤣

Thank God not everyone skimmed over the fact that Clueless had decided to forego small dogs as their Festive Fare this year...

I do really enjoy it. Even down to pre buying fancy bread and cutting it open to go stale for the best stuffing. I absolutely ADORE Christmas food. It is a very serious light heartened matter 😅

But yes salmon gate does get me in a tizzy every year! Because it’s for ME. I would not go to these lengths for the general party.

Ah - middle class tragedy. My heart bleeds. Instead of paying over the odds for mass produced salmon pulped up make your own.

This thread's a great read, thanks OP. I'm glad your diligent investigations worked out for you!

And I agree with others that ALDI's selection has been brilliant this year, the roast snowflake is very nice, though I've yet to find the elusive 3 cheese cauliflower that was advertised to come out last Friday...

I’ve just checked it out on Ocado out of curiosity, and it’s sold out! Must be popular.

My local Lidl has been a disappointment this year.

I read this as the Murder Squid 🐙 🤣
What fresh hell have you unleashed?

Well spare a thought for those of us married to amateur chefs who insist on making

Home made pate
Salmon terrine
Game pie
The Christmas cake
Mince pies
The whole bloody Christmas dinner.

We have to live with grumpy prima donnas weeks in advance.

He's just bitched because I ordered some Christmas crackers because he wanted to do that, despite the fact that he'd forgotten until just now

He'll be like this until the Christmas lunch is all over

I might add he hasn't given a thought to what we will eat on Christmas eve or boxing day. Not a thought to wine, beer, nibbles, or basic shopping.

Just his willie waving bloody lunch. 😡

Admit it, OP, you are already working for M&S. Conjuring up a feeling of demand outstripping supply has been a masterstroke.

I’m confused, OP posted two pictures. Which one is the best pate?

Have you ever considered a career in military logistics OP?

Possibly the navy I guess with your fish based skill set

The first is terrine from m&s. The pate is the sainsburys one

I'm not posh enough to understand terrine.

Can someone explain what you eat it with and how it differs from pate?

Oh god I will give it a go. This is where you can tell I don’t work for M&S…

Terrine to me is more light flavour or creamy; so it’s like pate but more filler. Softer texture, more cream cheese, or more mousse, or whatever the magic is. I don’t know hence I wouldnt dare try to make it. 🤷‍♀️

Salmon pate to me is straight pate, oily, textured, strong, should have some bite, obviously it has some filler to make a spreadable consistency but the reason all the other salmon pate’s are poor imo is because too much filler! So yes most pates are like a mousse terrine consistency. Which is not a pate in my eyes! Sainsbury’s pate is the last real pate standing.

If you are trying to be fancy you like me display the terrine on a Salmon Ashet bed. Which is like a plate of different types of slices of smoked salmon. Being super fancy you can add a hot smoke slice on also.

Then I produce a bucket of blinis and buttered toast. A little horseradish crème (sour crème mixed with horse radish) fresh in a pot which you can use to build your blinis.

I throw some iceberg lettuce cups randomly torn and scattered. If you were being really fancy would probably be watercress or micro greens.

Thanks! Though googling "salmon ashet bed" (before I got to your explanation) sent me to a mattress store...

Thought I was fancy with smoked salmon and Philly on bagels. Seems I've got a lot to learn.

Lol 😂 Maybe I made that word up.

As a youngster I used to waitress for Loch Fyne. Their salmon plate was called Salmon Ashet so I have always called it that.

They had good salmon! RIP Loch Fyne ☠️

Loch Fyne was very much a favourite with us until suddenly one day it was no longer there 😞

Think ashet is a corruption of assiette.