To not go back to full time work

[Karma1387]

Just looking for some advise on if I would be silly/unreasonable to not return to full time work post kids.

For a bit of background I currently have a toddler and due baby number 2 soon. I left my retail management job after finishing maternity leave with DC 1 and I have just worked 2 days a week as a shop assistant for the last year and now currently on maternity leave before DC2 comes in a few months.

My partner earns around 50k although this may decrease slightly in the next 2 years as we are moving areas and he may come off nights.

I have no desire to go back to a management career as I don't want to lose out on the time with my kids or the stress. I looked at what I would earn full time minimum wage in a full time job (as well as pension contributions) which would be a bring home of around 19500 and £75 a month into my pension.

However the cost of wrap around childcare (if we only had 2 children) as well as holiday clubs would cost around £10500 (based on current costs who knows in 2-4 years when kids start school.

Personally as someone who doesn't want to move up the career ladder would I be better off just staying as a basic shop worker 2 days a week and having more time with my kids?

Loads of women move to part time roles after having children. If it works for you and your family, go for it.

Your partner? Are you married?

Personally I wouldn’t be a SAHM, or significantly limit my income, if I wasn’t married.

No we aren't married. Engaged but not overly fussed with when we eventually marry.

Does it really make much difference if we are married if I'm not trying to be in a above minimum wage job anyway? I bring home more doing 2 shop assistant shifts then I would in a full time shop assistant (or something else) after paying childcare but id be missing out on far more time with my kids?

If you can afford it go for it. I think most people would work part time if it was financially possible

Get married. Get a part time job. Enjoy your children. Pay into a SIPP. But for the love of god don't do this outside of marriage.

We can afford for me to stay part time. We haven't got loads spare but unless I went back to a well earning career we wouldn't be better off financially just from me working full time minimum wage.

Yes it makes a huge difference if you're not married. If your relationship breaks down for any reason or your partner dies you are legally entitled to almost nothing. So significantly limiting your own income, pension contributions and future earning potential to raise this man's kids is not a great idea without the legal protection of marriage or civil partnership.

Yes it does matter if youre not married when you become financially dependent on a man. Because if he leaves you, you are not entitled to anything more than basic child maintenance. You are sacrificing your pension and career to care for his kids. But if he were to leave you, and youre not married, you are not entitled to any compensation. If you are married however you are entitled to a portion of his pension and any other assets accrued during your marriage. As you can read in the countless threads of women before you who said 'he will never leave me!', sometimes they do, and usually its the woman left holding the kids and financially destitute.

I agree with PP, it’s time to prioritise getting married

Thank you for your response.

Once I'm off Maternity leave I will put £40 into my work pension per month. Possibly I could increase this once we have paid off a bit of debt and moved.

Is your partner also on-board with the idea?
What would happen if you split up?
What are you both doing about pension and securing long term financial stability?

I will not answer the question because there are too many variables. And what is right for one couple won't be right for the next.

Agreed. You can be not overly fussed about getting married until you have children

You would be crazy to do this unless you are married, for all the reasons stated by previous posters above. Protect yourself.

I work PT 3 days a week and not married.
I wouldn’t work full time with kids as I find it too tiring. Not any desire to get married either, if he leaves me then so be it, I’ll figure it out by either working more or the generous benefit system for single parents (well I wouldn’t actually qualify but most do). It’s not the end of the world not being married as people make out on here

The childcare should not be your cost alone you should split it with the child's dad.
You'd have about 14k a year then from your full time job, plus a pension contribution.
Get your partner to pay into a pension for you if you haven't got one and decide not to work FT.

Thank you for your input. His pension at the moment is very small so I guess I haven't felt much of a rush as we don't have an assets etc at the moment to worry about and I am the beneficiary of his work death in service and life insurance so I am covered in that respect if he did tragically die.

But I understand its wise to sort getting married eventually just to cover ourselves legally.

Don’t do this if you’re not married. You are very vulnerable if the relationship breaks down.

Get married before doing this. If you don’t want to get married then you need to keep your hand in with your career and make sure you have sufficient money coming in.

Being an unmarried SAHM or part time worker is like playing Russian Roulette.

The benefit to your children of having you being their consistent caregiver will more than outweigh any benefit you will get from a minimum wage job.
And if they are going to childcare a couple of days per week, they will get the experience of getting know and spend time with bigger groups of children and less familiar adults, with activities that are not so easy to do at home. The best of both worlds.

The division of assets makes the difference. If you haven’t got any assets don’t worry about it if you have get married.

I would do it in a heartbeat, but not unless I was married. You and the DC are far too vulnerable otherwise.

there is no ' we ' unless you are married. A single woman has very few rights when it comes to her partner, until / unless married.

100! Youre still working, you still have your foot in the ground. Life is short. In only 4-5 years the baby will be at school and you can go back to something full time.

Thank you for the reply. Thw reason I look at childcare as my cost is because thw reality is its my income/hours I'm looking to increase so for me its about if the sacrifice is worth it to me. A full time bring home is around £1650 after pension, compared to £1000 I bring home working 2 days as I'm under the tax threshold. For me it is about is that extra £650 a month (which will get eaten up and more by childcare when they are at school age) is worth working the extra 22 hours a week and missing out on that time.

Once I'm off maternity leave in a years time I would go back to putting £40 a month into my pension.

£40 a month for your pension? How old are you?

The amount you should pay into your pension generally depends on your retirement goals, age, and current savings, with a common recommendation being around 12.5% of your earnings. Starting early can help you save less each month to reach your goals, as your money has more time to grow.

I am more thinking of not going back to work full time either until they are secondary school age or until they are grown up.

My childcare calculations are based on primary school childcare. With the nursery free hours my childcare cost at the moment is £0.