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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To end 1 month relationship over this tiny thing

387 replies

bicyclecrash · 19/12/2025 17:07

or am I being dramatic?

Please be honest if im overreacting. Me and my boyfriend have been together officially for 6 weeks, it's going really well. Yesterday we went out for dinner and I drove us back to mine after. On the way back, he rolled down the window and threw his empty drink can out of my car. As soon as he rolled down the window i knew that was what he was going to and asked / begged him not to as I'm the one who's car it is and I don't want someone posting my car all over the local facebook group saying rubbish is being thrown out of it.

Also it gave me the ick. I find it a bit grim that he couldn't wait 10 mins till we got to my house to throw his rubbish away.

OP posts:
youalright · 19/12/2025 17:16

Its things like this that seem small that tell you a lot about a person

EmbroideredGardener · 19/12/2025 17:16

This would show that he has such a different set of values to me that a relationship would be out of the question. Him not respecting your wishes is also a major red flag

TheWonderhorse · 19/12/2025 17:17

I was ready for this to be trivial, but it's not. I would probably have chucked him out right there at the side of the road. Littering is highly unattractive.

CamillaMcCauley · 19/12/2025 17:17

Oh no. Not an overreaction at all. He thinks the rules of society don’t apply to him, and he doesn’t respect your requests. Instant bin.

toobeautifulforwords · 19/12/2025 17:17

He’s a scum bag. I’d end it immediately. This says everything you Need to know about who he is.

MostlyHappyMummy · 19/12/2025 17:17

You call it a tiny thing - is that what you think too? That throwing rubbish out of car windows is no big deal?

StrawberrySquash · 19/12/2025 17:18

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 19/12/2025 17:11

LTB. No redeeming feature makes up for him being antisocial (litter) and disrespectful (ignoring you).

This. I'd be so disappointed because it's such a stupid thing to lose a relationship over, but the fact he's not making an effort at this point would just totally turn me off him. And from his side I'd be so embarrassed to tell that story explaining why I got dumped!

NebulousSadTimes · 19/12/2025 17:18

He's testing you @bicyclecrash . Listen to your doubts.

gamerchick · 19/12/2025 17:19

It's fine Territory isn't it?

Not to mention he ignores your request not to do it. What else will he ignore in the future?

PashaMinaMio · 19/12/2025 17:20

Bikergran · 19/12/2025 17:11

6 weeks is not a relationship. He's a dirty chavvy slob. Dump.

Nailed it.
I litter pick in my lovely village. We hate louts like him. Hes an ignoramus.
Red flag. Get rid. 🚩🚩

ReignOfError · 19/12/2025 17:20

Yep, get rid of him. The littering is bad enough, ignoring your explicit requests is worse.

TFImBackIn · 19/12/2025 17:21

Ugh I would have driven him straight home.

FlashingFairyLight · 19/12/2025 17:22

Not dramatic.

It's terrible manners & really entitled.
Edit: AND he ignored your genuine request not to do a shitty thing!!

Your kids would learn from him that it's okay to litter. Nope.

bignewprinz · 19/12/2025 17:23

Pig! Dump.

jeaux90 · 19/12/2025 17:24

Well as the saying goes, when someone shows you who they are, believe them. Hard no from me. I’d dump.

Branleuse · 19/12/2025 17:25

I think that's quite a big indication of his character actually.
I wouldn't date someone who threw rubbish out of the window

Bobiverse · 19/12/2025 17:25

Why didn’t you stop the car? He could pick it up or walk home.
Did you tell him what you thought after? Definitely dump him.

SliceofTosst · 19/12/2025 17:25

Get rid. It's early doors and time will only reveal more disrespectful irresponsible behaviour.

loveyoulotslike · 19/12/2025 17:27

It’s not so much that he did it (which is idiotic enough) but that you ‘begged’ him not to and he did it anyway.

Lavender14 · 19/12/2025 17:27

I'd BIN him off for this without a second thought.

No care for others around him, lack of accountability and responsibility, no care for the environment, no care for the person who will need to come along and clear it later, zero care for the impact it could have on you and direct disregard for your feelings over his convenience. I think this speaks to his moral code and how he relates to others/empathy and how he was raised. This will therefore not be the only issue you have going forwards and I don't think it's a small thing.

Brightbluesomething · 19/12/2025 17:27

That shows a huge lack of respect for you and very different values. That’s why I’d be leaving him if I were you. 6 weeks is nothing and you’re getting to know each other. He’s happy to behave like this so if you stay you’re in for a whole lot worse.

ginasevern · 19/12/2025 17:27

@bicyclecrash Nothing about that action would align with my morals, lifestyle, world view, upbringing or education. I'd have probably told him to get out of the car there and then, let alone spend time agonising about whether to end the relationship. What an utter fucking pig you've found yourself OP.

beadystar · 19/12/2025 17:28

Foul. You’ve only been going out six weeks, he should be trying to impress you, not behaving like an obnoxious disrespectful filthy lout. Bin.

Geranium1984 · 19/12/2025 17:31

I would have dumped him there and then and left hum on the side of the road with his can. Awful beahviour!

CandyCaneKisses · 19/12/2025 17:31

It would make me cringe as it shows a bigger picture of how they have no regard for their surroundings and makes me question their cleanliness elsewhere.

It would probably be a strike but not an immediate dumping.