Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To end 1 month relationship over this tiny thing

387 replies

bicyclecrash · 19/12/2025 17:07

or am I being dramatic?

Please be honest if im overreacting. Me and my boyfriend have been together officially for 6 weeks, it's going really well. Yesterday we went out for dinner and I drove us back to mine after. On the way back, he rolled down the window and threw his empty drink can out of my car. As soon as he rolled down the window i knew that was what he was going to and asked / begged him not to as I'm the one who's car it is and I don't want someone posting my car all over the local facebook group saying rubbish is being thrown out of it.

Also it gave me the ick. I find it a bit grim that he couldn't wait 10 mins till we got to my house to throw his rubbish away.

OP posts:
Franpie · 19/12/2025 18:27

Nearly50omg · 19/12/2025 17:11

I’d have stopped the car and told him to get out and pick that can up and then driven off when he got out and left him 🤬

Me too

AhBiscuits · 19/12/2025 18:29

I would dump him for that. What a tosser, so to speak.
Not giving a shit about the world is a big turn off.

MeridianB · 19/12/2025 18:29

Bin h8m. He’s a twat.

Bearbookagainandagain · 19/12/2025 18:30

That's not such a small thing to me, it's definitely a red flag and I would probably end the relationship too.

But everything else is good otherwise and he seems like a nice and respectful guy, I would probably have a chat about it first to understand where it comes from and whether it could change.

You can't assume people's motivation, if he's been raised that way for instance and no one ever raised the issue, there is chance it's just very bad habit.

If it's just that he doesn't care or think it's someone else's job to pick up his rubbish, then LTB.

momager1 · 19/12/2025 18:30

6 weeks, is NOT a relationship, it is a start to one. This is not one you want. Toss him back and please let him know why. If he is this disrespectful now, just a few weeks in, what is he going to be like when he settles in more?

Bringemout · 19/12/2025 18:30

I don’t think it’s tiny, to me it would communicate someone who is irresponsible and thoughtless tbh. Littering makes the world worse for everyone, he doesn’t feel a sense of responsibility to other people. I wouldn’t like that in a man.

seven201 · 19/12/2025 18:32

I would dump him for that, yes. Not the kind of person I’d want for a partner or worse father and role model for any future children. Selfish twat behaviour that is.

RancidRuby · 19/12/2025 18:33

100% a dumpable offense, doing something like this in the early days of a relationship when you are usually on your best behavior is indicative of the type of person he is - a selfish, lazy pig.

B1anche · 19/12/2025 18:33

This is not a small thing. It tells you everything you need to know about him. If he'd been in my car, I would have stopped and kicked him out immediately.

NortyElf · 19/12/2025 18:33

bicyclecrash · 19/12/2025 17:07

or am I being dramatic?

Please be honest if im overreacting. Me and my boyfriend have been together officially for 6 weeks, it's going really well. Yesterday we went out for dinner and I drove us back to mine after. On the way back, he rolled down the window and threw his empty drink can out of my car. As soon as he rolled down the window i knew that was what he was going to and asked / begged him not to as I'm the one who's car it is and I don't want someone posting my car all over the local facebook group saying rubbish is being thrown out of it.

Also it gave me the ick. I find it a bit grim that he couldn't wait 10 mins till we got to my house to throw his rubbish away.

Ewugh...awful, definitely a red flag, 2 if it was an energy drink

Acheyelbows · 19/12/2025 18:34

What age is he? This seems to be a bravado thing that often happens when young lads are doing laps of the town in their boy racer cars.

One chance not to repeat it, now that he understands it's a serious red flag to you and mature adults do not behave like this.

EstherGreenwood19 · 19/12/2025 18:36

bicyclecrash · 19/12/2025 17:07

or am I being dramatic?

Please be honest if im overreacting. Me and my boyfriend have been together officially for 6 weeks, it's going really well. Yesterday we went out for dinner and I drove us back to mine after. On the way back, he rolled down the window and threw his empty drink can out of my car. As soon as he rolled down the window i knew that was what he was going to and asked / begged him not to as I'm the one who's car it is and I don't want someone posting my car all over the local facebook group saying rubbish is being thrown out of it.

Also it gave me the ick. I find it a bit grim that he couldn't wait 10 mins till we got to my house to throw his rubbish away.

I would bin him immediately. No pun intended.

LaurieFairyCake · 19/12/2025 18:36

Not tiny, total scum. Dump.

nopiesleftinthisvehicle · 19/12/2025 18:36

I was at a theme park with an ex and, instead of walking a few hundred yards to one of the hundreds of bins, he dumped a full Burger meal bag and contents on the middle of the path, where dozens of people were following. I was so embarrassed as I picked them up to dispose of properly. Our respective young children were with us.
Huge red flag.

Just tonight as I was driving home, I saw a knobhead pedestrian chuck his bottle over a bridge. He was with a woman and child.

Don't be that woman OP.

theresbeautyinwindysun · 19/12/2025 18:36

I agree, hideous. Tells you so much about a person.

Applewisp · 19/12/2025 18:37

Yes, dump him. It showed disrespect for you, disrespect for others, disrespect for nature by littering, and no care that you could actually get in trouble for that. If he doesn’t have respect, it’s going to continue to manifest in other ways. You MUST demand respect from a man and NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS if you want to end up in a good relationship and harmonious home one day. This guy is a jackass. Think of it. Would a gentleman impress a lady with this behavior? It’s not a small thing. And why isn’t he picking you up in his car and opening the door for you? You get the treatment you will accept. If you accept this, you’re setting your own low standard.

CalzoneOnLegs · 19/12/2025 18:41

Slovenly inconsiderate selfish skanky fucker dump his littering arse

Scout2016 · 19/12/2025 18:43

No you aren't over reacting. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who did that never mind in a relationship. Yuk.
Your values are not aligned and luckily you have found out early enough.

Moveoverdarlin · 19/12/2025 18:43

Nearly50omg · 19/12/2025 17:11

I’d have stopped the car and told him to get out and pick that can up and then driven off when he got out and left him 🤬

This is word for word what I was going to say!!

Moveoverdarlin · 19/12/2025 18:44

Only a really scummy person would do this.

CalzoneOnLegs · 19/12/2025 18:45

And it’s not tiny - its huge

ThisJadeBear · 19/12/2025 18:47

It’s not just laziness he’s done it for a reaction.
If you let him ‘get away with it’ there will be something else soon.
He knows most women (all?) would really not like this and he’s done it as a power play especially seeing as it was your car.
Been there, got the t-shirt. I was really young and it wasn’t long before he threw a fresh, hot takeaway out of a car window at me. His car, he drove off leaving me in a seaside town late at night.
It is not about the can. The can is just a reflection of who he is…

taxguru · 19/12/2025 18:47

YANBU. I'd have stopped the car and thrown him out the moment he'd done that and blocked his number. That's disgusting, disrespectful and tells us exactly the kind of uncaring, selfish and arrogant tosser that he is. No second chances or apologies accepted for that kind of utter moron.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 19/12/2025 18:53

Have a serious chat with him. It would piss me off too. It’s disgusting.

50lbstolose · 19/12/2025 18:54

Definitely dump him