Would you/have you secretly filmed at your child's Nativity?

[Dramatic]

So our school has a policy that you aren't allowed to film/take photos at all, total blanket ban. They don't take photos or film themselves either.

My husband works away and never gets to see the plays so I secretly film them/take photos (just my child's part but there are others in the background) and I show the videos to him.

I don't put them on any social media or send them to anyone else, even Grandparents etc.

Aibu?

And how likely is it that in any of these scenarios the video is going to put someone at risk?? Come on now.

I highly doubt that.

How would you feel if EVERYBODY did this? What would you think if you spotted someone covertly filming? Of course they’re not going to put it on SM, just send to their friends and family, who certainly won’t put it on SM.

The world has gone mad! I'm so glad my kids were born in the 90's when there wasn't all this BS.

You sound similar to the utter twat who sat next to me at DC’s Christmas play and not only recorded the whole thing, despite being asked not to, then went on to replay chunks of it on their phone WHILST THE PLAY WAS STILL BEING PERFORMED.

Cannot believe how fuckin stupid and ignorant some of these comments are.

Some parents will have requested that their kids aren't photographed etc for good reason, as well as other safeguarding situations - that's why there is request that other parents comply.

I don't see why you are so special that it doesn't apply you and your husband. You don't know who might see the photos you pass on - a workmate who spots family members rehomed due to domestic violence for instance.

This. There are reasons why this isn’t allowed. You are doing it anyway, and presumably think you are entitled to continue regardless. Not cool op, not cool at all.

Fun fact: memories existed before phones.

Use your memory and stop breaking the rules. It’s not just about social media. It ruins the whole performance and atmosphere if everyone is looking at screens instead of the children.

Interesting, we were not allowed to film these things when my kids were little, long before social media

I wouldn’t do this because I’d be mortified if I were caught. But can anyone actually explain the risk in this scenario? If she were showing (not sharing the video, just showing) her dh then what can actually happen? I get that videos can be shared and passed on and he could then send it to his mum, who could show a neighbour and so on. Clearly social media posting is incredibly inappropriate too. But her dh is a parent, he could have been in the audience too. She is showing him and that’s it. Where is the issue?

Obviously we need to protect and safeguard vulnerable kids. But if they go to school someone who knows someone who knows someone will know about it regardless of any filming of navitys. I’m just a bit perplexed by the outage in these circumstances.

I work in IT. These scenarios are fairly likely, regular occurances. Especially for those that do not prioritise internet security like yourself.

Irrational fears dont need pandering to. The same children will be on countless private recordings per day from ring doorbells and dash cams unless the parents keep them indoors at all times.

That’s not how it works. Hackers tend to release everything on your phone, they don’t search through everything. They’re trying to cause chaos, not have a nose.

But you know you’re being unreasonable. You feel your husbands right to watch two minutes of a nativity that he never manages to go to is more important than anything else, so nothing anyone says here will change that.

Yeah I'm not that much of a twat. Just a slightly smaller twat I guess.

Agreed, I would rather watch than film, I would happily pay £5 for a recording or a photo. I suggested the PTA could organize it at our school, would have been happy to film another year group, edit a bit to remove anyone who needs to be hidden and sell on to raise funds. But the school said no.

I think it’s problematic for a lot of reasons. You don’t know the situation of all the children, you don’t know who might be scared by watching you do it and you are teaching your child that you know better and can break whatever rules don’t make sense to them. It’s a horrible thing to do.

No, I don't consider myself and my family to be special exceptions to whom the rules don't apply.

I sat next to SiL during little Gdd2’s Nativity (near the front in a packed church) and TBH I was very glad he filmed a small part of it. It’s been shared only among immediate family - we don’t do Instagram or any similar SM.

You're selfish. The reason you're not allowed to record regardless of not putting it on social media is because if you were to show it to a friend/relative who recognises one of the children that may have been removed from an abusive situation they could then tell the abuser that they're at that school. It doesn't matter what you use the video for. It's unreasonable to record in the first place.

God you're incredibly selfish as well as being incredibly dense. Certain children are not permitted to be filmed or photographed by anyone for reasons that could endanger their own or someone else's life. This will have been assessed and discussed by various authorities, it won't be on a whim. Why do you think you should be entitled to film them?

As pp have said, the concert date will be known months in advance, your husband can take the day off like other parents do.

Our school don’t mind you taking videos/photos as long as it’s not put on social media! So you are not being unreasonable

Did they actually say that or did they say for safeguarding reasons. Sadly, some people will pop videos of children on various social media despite being asked not to and asked not to film. Just don't film it.

I don’t know. But there are children in your dc school that cannot be filmed for whatever reason. So what is more important? Your dh watching a recording or a child being able to participate?

As a foster carer who have children at risk of abduction, other parents videoing any school performances/sports days could be extremely dangerous for them. Yes of course social media is far more dangerous, but you never know that even showing one person could be the "wrong" one person. In our case (and in others we have told about) families often search photographs from the local schools to see if they can find their children in the background. I guess I am saying even if this was 100% safe and your husband was the only person ever to see the video, it would still be so frightening to a child in care if they saw it happening. And extremely worrying for us and the local authority.