Would you/have you secretly filmed at your child's Nativity?

[Dramatic]

So our school has a policy that you aren't allowed to film/take photos at all, total blanket ban. They don't take photos or film themselves either.

My husband works away and never gets to see the plays so I secretly film them/take photos (just my child's part but there are others in the background) and I show the videos to him.

I don't put them on any social media or send them to anyone else, even Grandparents etc.

Aibu?

Sadly, @Dramatic, I honestly don’t think you could trust everyone to keep their word and not post pictures or videos on social media. And some people would refuse point blank to agree not to share the images.

I agree with this.

It's completely different to being there and watching with your own eyes. You have a permanent recording. You have a time stamp. You have a location attached to that image. How would anyone know you focused on your own child unless they viewed your footage ? (which obviously they wouldn't be able to do as you're not sending it round. 🙄 )
I sincerely hope your child is never put in such a position that they are unable to participate in an event in which they would desperately wish to be included. I pray that your child is never put in physical danger because of the selfishness of their peers' parents.

This is something that is really close to my heart.

It is not just about social media. It is other situations too.

Taking social media out of the equation Mum leaves husband because of domestic violence, moves the child school and home to keep child safe.

Secret school videor takes video. Shows it to someone, a friend, granny, husband, that person sees video and recognises child. Mentions to the child's dad "hey has little timmy moved schools, thought i saw him in xxx's video nativity the other day"

And completely harmlessly Dad now knows what school the child attends.

These people don't care. When they say "they focus on their own child" that's exactly what they mean. To hell with the others. It's not my fault those kids are in care, have a shit life etc. My precious one must have a full photographic record of his every move from birth to adulthood or else I've failed as a mother!!! 🙄

Same. My children's school allows filming but not allowed to post on social media. Seems to be working well luckily everyone respects it

You’re coming across as the biggest cunt @Dramatic. Not surprising you’ve dug in given the cuntish behaviour that gave rise to this thread.

That’s what they all say.

I think the judge will take a dim view if you get caught filming a scene your child isn’t in. Or is your child in every single scene?

You can't have a balanced debate on here. Someone is already along calling someone a cunt. What a shame. So many eye rolling faces too.
I don't really need video, we can usually attend every school performance. But I know people who never can (single parents that work as nurses for example), and I video their children for them and I know it means the world to their parents and their kids who otherwise could never get to show their parents the performances they had practiced for weeks and weeks.
We don't have a blanket ban at our school anyway. They introduced it and stopped it so I'm not breaking any rules. Everyone respects the no SM rule, I've never seen that rule broken or anything shared in the WhatsApp groups.

Sure, but doesn't give the prolonged exposure as from a child acting on stage, time as well as expressions. If you want to break rules or downplay threats, every law and rule out there has an argument or excuse in favour of breaking them. Some people think that rules are to be obeyed only if it affects them.

Why would a judge be interested in a school nativity video?

And that's why behaviour in schools is so bad these days. They're all special.

I cannot believe how selfish you are. You say the possibility of someone finding your phone and using it for bad is remote enough for you to not worry about it. Would you feel the same if it were your child who was being safeguarded? Would you look at parents filming and say oh I’m sure they won’t post on social media media/lose their phone etc so I won’t worry about it? Or would you want NO chance of your child being outed rather than a remote chance. Honestly, selfish isn’t the word!!

I think the difference is that your school doesn't have a ban. The OP's school have a specific policy in place and probably for very good reason. I can't attend my child's performances and they aren't allowed to film so I miss it. We're lucky that they often send pics of individual children in costume. I don't get to see the full performance which is a shame but I would NEVER ask someone to secretly record it for me.
The OP didn't miss her child's performance. The husband did. That's unfortunate but that's life. I'm sure there are many other wonderful moments he gets to experience.
If she's not happy with the school's policies she should move her child else rather than blatantly disregard them.

When my foster child was in a film another parent had taken it went to the family court, and the judge agreed with Children's Services that the child should change schools again as they were an extremely high risk of being abducted. The parent had said she would not share it, but that could not be guaranteed. A abduction attempt was subsequently made at the school but they had (thankfully) left the school.

I didn't film the whole thing, only the very short time my child was on stage

Doesn't matter, some PP said just a snapshot of a face can be used so the length of a video is irrelevant.

I understand that. But the parent who took the video had done nothing wrong and presumably wasn’t up before the judge.

You are totally out of order and it's astonishing how you are trying to justify your actions. It is so arrogant.
Filming children in shows is really disruptive to those around you. And the quality is likely to be pretty low quality, so pointless.....
Individual parents have to give permission for their child/children to be photographed/filmed within the school setting. This is under gdpr laws.
If you just randomly choose to record your child, this is a breach of gdpr laws, as you do not have permission to record any other child in the school.
It could also be a safeguarding issue.
Our school records a show and issues a memory booklet. They do not allow recording/photos to be taken.

That poor child having to move and be uprooted again. I know it had to be done for their safety but one person's thoughtlessness (& selfishness) in filming will have had devastating and possibly (probably) long-lasting impact on that child.

Ok then. I’m not sure the filming of a nativity will result in a future ASBO but I honestly can’t be arsed to argue anymore.
My take on it is this - OP ignored the rule, she did something she was asked not to and people on MN hate nothing more than entitlement.
But I maintain that if she what’s she’s saying is true and she’s only shown her DH there is no risk here at all. People just don’t like entitlement. Agree with the poster that said you can’t have a balanced debate here. People throwing the word cunt around and insinuating the op is some sort of deviant just because they don’t like the fact that she broke the rules.

Why would someone be covertly filming children?

Legally not and they were not up before the judge. In fact their live continued just as normal.

However they went against what the school had specifically asked. Resulting in a traumatised child having to leave what had been their save haven (their new school and new friends) and almost their new home. This led to severe mental health challenges for the rest of their childhood.

I would be ringing the police if someone continued to video me after I’d asked them to stop and I’d be getting the police to make sure the video was deleted.

continuing to video me would be harassment.

I would have been furious if I’d ever found out someone had been filming a performance involving my daughter in secret.