Would you/have you secretly filmed at your child's Nativity?

[Dramatic]

So our school has a policy that you aren't allowed to film/take photos at all, total blanket ban. They don't take photos or film themselves either.

My husband works away and never gets to see the plays so I secretly film them/take photos (just my child's part but there are others in the background) and I show the videos to him.

I don't put them on any social media or send them to anyone else, even Grandparents etc.

Aibu?

Don’t you see how outing and othering it is for those children and their families, for the DCs to either have to be taken aside when photo ops happen or be blurred out - their peers and their peers mums/dads, are obviously going to notice that little Joanne and Billy have had their faces blurred or been cropped/left out. All these kids and their parents want (damn, need, given what they’ve likely already been through in life) is for their children to have the same experience as their classmates, and for everyone not to know that they are “different”, which means a blanket ban, however “unfair” it feels to the families with comparatively charmed lives, is the only fair way to go about it. Apart from maybe individual photos taken by the school and given only to the parent(s).

Of course there are children at risk from crazies. But, relative to the numbers of children not at risk, the numbers are tiny. A school should protect on an individual basis.

There was a stalker ex-husband of a mum with a kid in the same class as one of mine. We were all made aware of the situation and kept alert for him.

I simply don’t believe that schools generally ban photos because of at-risk children. They do it because they’ve been hassled by paranoid parents and because they’ve swallowed the myth of data protection rights.

But, as I said previously, not having parents waving phones and cameras around and pissing off those around them is a decent reason in itself.

Additionally the reason is the other parents dont know your DP isnt a perv. Im not suggesting he is but its safeguarding, pervs arent always online

Their rule is disproportionate and potentially unfair, they haven't communicated any reasoning for it either.

Speaking to them first would be better, but otherwise what you've done is predictable and you won't be the only one.

If I was a parent with a vulnerable child who didn't know you or your intentions from a hole in the wall I would be beyond furious (and worried)

Who the fuck do you think you are?

Who knows?

You are not respecting consent.

This is not cool.

Our school make a point of letting us know whether we can or can't film or photo if there's a child who's parents haven't gave permission or in foster care etc Never once seen anyone be so fucking stupid as to whip out their phone in that case.

Who the fuck does any parent think they are when filming their child at a show?

I doubt the OP and all the other entitled parents, who are far more important than everyone else, will give a flying fuck.

Do you really not understand that by taking a video, others in the audience will think 'if she can do it, I will too' and therefore it becomes uncontrollable. All you are re focused on it what you want, not what is in the best interests of all.

If the school has no vulnerable children and allows it, all fine

If it's banned (and they don't have to tell you why) then if any parents ignore the rule, they should be chucked out.

Schools that do have vulnerable children allow it though.

Yes, my school values its staff and the head teacher knows that the one hour I missed is not a problem. I’m never really off sick.

That’s really sad - I wouldn’t be able to put up with missing those moments.

You have absolutely no idea if any of the protected or vulnerable children were even allowed to be there on these other events. Possibly for exactly that reason.

I know for a fact that when there were protected children at for eg sports days which were held outdoors and therefore very difficult to police who had their phones out, there were sometimes a few children who just couldn’t take part, because parents like you would have just flouted any ban anyway which is a damn shame.

Presumably the school decided that the nativity was an easier event to police and therefore placed the blanket ban knowing that the selfish gits would be easier to spot/be reported and action could be taken. (Which could very well still happen).

If you don't think there is the slightest chance YABU why post in AIBU?

I already answered this question

Secretly filming children when the school has specificall asked you not to, I think I have seen it all.Obviously rules are not for you, just everyone else who is also missing out...
Very rude, entitled and unreasonable.

She expected 100% of people to support her, surprise!

Of course I didn't 😂

A fucking selfish one, when they have been told not to and have no clue as to the reasons behind it (and nor should they).

How on earth would you know who is and isn't a vulnerable child? Your sense of entitlement disgusts me. Its not all about YOU! Why can't you just suck it up and honour the school's request? Do you need a photo of EVERYTHING your child ever does?
Pathetic!

So not only do you break the rules to take covert videos/pictures of other people’s children, but you’ve managed to also see the at risk register and all the court ordered/social services reports at these schools to know that they have vulnerable children? Wow!

But some schools allow it even when there are vulnerable children there so are those parents equally as selfish? Or is the school in the wrong?

Are you the sort of person who parks in disabled car park spaces without being disabled? Or someone who blocks the pavements with their car or parks on double yellows when they pick up their little darling from school? Tedious rules for other people that you don't keep if you don't feel like it? 😬