Would you/have you secretly filmed at your child's Nativity?

[Dramatic]

So our school has a policy that you aren't allowed to film/take photos at all, total blanket ban. They don't take photos or film themselves either.

My husband works away and never gets to see the plays so I secretly film them/take photos (just my child's part but there are others in the background) and I show the videos to him.

I don't put them on any social media or send them to anyone else, even Grandparents etc.

Aibu?

It's lightyears away from rape though. So stop making the comparison.

So how did you manage to do this?
You must have had your camera at a funny angle if not one person saw you.
Yet you still only managed to film your own child and no one else's? How?

You are filming other people's children (in the background) without consent, as well as breaking school safeguarding rules.

It’s not. Once you are asked for consent, then that consent has to be respected. In every area of life, whether it’s not filming kids in school, to a company not sending marketing emails when you say no, to rape. It’s all part of a continuum.

I’m not sorry it makes you uncomfortable.

I think the posters who are saying it's ok in my school are missing the fact that there is probably a very good reason why it is NOT ok in the OP's school.

SSchools are fully aware that parents want pictures/videos of their children and so it's likely if there is a ban, there is a reason.

No, no no.
The rules DO apply to the OP but it's ok for her to blatantly flout break them because they say they won't show anyone and the school should just accept that with no questions asked.

Incidentally I'm out for dinner later and will probably drink myself into a stupor and then drive home. The police might not look too kindly on it but it's ok because I know that I won't hit anyone, so that should just accept my word and let me do whatever I want.

I’m struggling to imagine how you can film a school performance so secretly that nobody else notices whilst still managing to get a recording good enough to show your dp.

The phone was inside my coat sort of underneath my scarf, hard to describe but it wasn't visible to anyone else

At my son's Infant school they didn't allow filming, but gave each parent a photo of their child in costume afterwards. Junior School allowed filming but asked parents not to post on Social Media, we definitely have several children who cant be identified, even at his scout troop.
Having said that, my son attended birthday party when he was 9, where I later ( accidentally) found a video of the whole party on YouTube. Seriously, WTF? Who does that?

Ahh OP, I wouldn’t mess around with this one. It’s a very specific request - one that makes me think there could be safeguarding issues.

Rules are usually put in place to keep people safe.

As a grandparent recovering from surgery I really appreciated the snippets from the school play and the church service my family snuck in this year because I couldn't be there.

The head allows a picture but emphasis the no putting on social media rule. It doesn't seem to be abused

@Dramatic I am intrigued to know how you are able to covertly record-during a packed nativity- so you have a video of your DC but no one else in the audience can see you recording?

Where is the phone whilst recording? Because surely others can see you?

I can film those children at a park, swimming pool, shopping centre, street inadvertently because it's a public place. So when parents take a picture of their children in public and share on social media, they're capturing anyone within range.

One day your child may ask you such a question. I wonder what your answer will be.

At my daughter’s school, they send home an individual picture of them in their costume. They then upload pictures and videos ensuring not to show the children who are protected for whatever reason. Given your circumstances, perhaps you could suggest your child’s school does something similar?

If you ever get caught how will you explain why you were covertly filming children when you are questioned by the police/safeguarding team.

I will say I was filming my child 🤦

I work in a school and have seen fallouts from this sort of situation.
You are being unreasonable.
You are putting children at risk.
If found out, you would be banned from attending other performances I imagine.
The school is not being awkward, it is a safeguarding risk to have children filmed.
Parents of children have to give permission for teachers to take photos and video them and not all parents have given their permission.

I'll say the chances are ridiculously low.

Maybe the child didn't attend the event. Or maybe the school fucked up.

That's an awful thing to do OP. A total breech of the trust of other parents who don't want images and recordings of their children made by anyone. Why on earth would you think that wouldn't include you? Or that your husband's wishes should override other people's consent?

Yabu but I think you know that hence starting this thread to justify it.

Take a photo of your child in their costume to show dad. My DH was never able to come to anything, it’s just life sometimes. If your DH is so worried about missing out he should take time off.

Yabvu
my children were at primary school before smart phones. And we coped. Either I went, or on the rare occasion he could, DH did (tho thinking about it I don’t think he went to any!). And you know what? Twenty years on, that’s fine. The best bits of childhood weren’t rewinding the time a child was Angel #3, or Second Sheep.
Plus it’s a rule put in place for a good reason.

We weren't allowed to take any photos, they keep the costumes in school and he works offshore, he can't take a day off

Not to mention that children tell school staff anything, all our secrets. At some point, they'll drop her in it at school.

She'll be on here in 7 or 8 years time wondering why her teenager is constantly rule breaking at school. Monkey see, monkey do.