Would you/have you secretly filmed at your child's Nativity?

[Dramatic]

So our school has a policy that you aren't allowed to film/take photos at all, total blanket ban. They don't take photos or film themselves either.

My husband works away and never gets to see the plays so I secretly film them/take photos (just my child's part but there are others in the background) and I show the videos to him.

I don't put them on any social media or send them to anyone else, even Grandparents etc.

Aibu?

No its not OK, the school have said no, why can't you respect that, the school may produce a video if they want with all the parents permission, the fact that you did this "secretly' suggests you know it was wrong.

No. How do you 'secretly film them?' I would imagine you can tell straight away that someone is using their phone to 'secretly' record. Must at least look a bit suss and that you're not concentrating on the performance.

Really? Have you not read the thread? 🤦🏽‍♀️

I've already explained they have a blanket band regardless of whether the kids are allowed photos or not.

Yes, it may be very very unlikely but it happened to a child in my care, so not impossible.

I think this rule is very OTT. Our church allows it but just says for family use only eg for your immediate family album no sharing on WhatsApp or social media

It's never ever okay

I mean, she's right it's still very very unlikely as much as you want to say otherwise.

Can you not see how just banning photos for classes where some parents have refused permission for photos would be very divisive and risk recriminations for those children?

Our church used to allow it but now does not. I presume there has been some change in terms of who is attending that they are privy to and I am not. Like schools, each church will need to make its own risk assessment and that can change over time.

Then why be that parent who has to be clever and disregard the rule, if you don't like it move schools.

If that is the case then none of my foster children would be allowed by the local authority to attend that church. Another thing they would miss out on if they were that way inclined. Feel very sad that a church could not be a safe haven for them though, very sad.

You know the answer to this otherwise you would not have asked. Also others will have seen you filming and others will do it.

I know I would never hurt a child at school but I follow the rules about never being alone with one! The rules are there to protect people.
We have children in our school in care, children living with a parent who has fled from domestic violence, we have children where they or their carer are afraid to let them be in a school production in case someone takes their picture.

PLEASE don’t go against the rules. You are also teaching your child that rule breaking is okay!

I work in school - I didn’t see most of the things my own children did - it didn’t kill me OR them and no one videoed it for me so it didn’t harm any other children either.

They may tell people that, but how do they know whether that is what actually happens?

What did? A video was hacked off a parents phone? Social media I can believe, but not that I'm afraid

How do you know? Do you how many children have been put in danger by parents posting photos/videos on social media? What’s an acceptable number to you? 1? 20? What is your cut off number of children being endangered by parents filming when they have been asked not to just for your right to film?

I've read the thread, I've also been on MN a long time and am well versed in the hysteria and lack of risk assessment abilities many MNetters seem to suffer with

It suggests that other schools might need to be stricter.

@Dramatic, what did you hope to get out of this thread?

She's talking about the phone being hacked, not about it being put on SM.

Goady thread to stir up a reaction.

Basically, @Dramatic, you are saying you don’t give a tiny, shiny shite about the lives of people like @Cuppatea1982, and the devastation that someone filming their child and putting it on social media could cause.

Even if you don’t put the video on social media or show it to anyone, other people will see you filming, and they may decide to copy you, and film the nativity, but share the video.

What you should do is to approach the school to film the nativity properly, blurring out any children who can’t be shown, then sell it to parents, or to allow photos of individual children at the end. What you shouldn’t do is place yourself above the rules, and demonstrate your utter lack of concern for anyone but yourself and your family.

No, not hacked. A parent taking a video of a school production compromised the safely of a foster child for whom abduction was very high risk. The foster child had to move schools. It is your right not to believe me and I will leave the thread now in case others feel the same way.

My mum has done this my whole life. We were at a wedding at the weekend and told at the beginning of the ceremony not to take photos, but there she was regardless. It has utterly mortified me for as long as I can remember. I find the sense of entitlement truly baffling.