Would you/have you secretly filmed at your child's Nativity?

[Dramatic]

So our school has a policy that you aren't allowed to film/take photos at all, total blanket ban. They don't take photos or film themselves either.

My husband works away and never gets to see the plays so I secretly film them/take photos (just my child's part but there are others in the background) and I show the videos to him.

I don't put them on any social media or send them to anyone else, even Grandparents etc.

Aibu?

They were told of the seriousness of the situation without any specific details. But they still felt their right to video was paramount because they felt it was safe to do as long as it was not on social media. I don't know what happened after we left the school. I assume they probably never thought about it again and carried on.

Yes, there could be one sitting watching it.

If a film gets into their hands, then they can watch it over and over again in the privacy of their home. You can figure out the rest for yourself.

ETA I worked in secondary schools for 40 yrs. Occasionally, we'd get an alert that a parent had been caught with child porn.

I wait til he gets home, signal is crap offshore.

I've got to be honest I would feel terrible if this happened

I am not sure why is it a different debate? You have been asked by the school not to film and it could be for many reasons.

That's something I suppose. I still thinking you're massively U to think the rules the school puts in place to protect vulnerable children don't apply to you.

Our school lets us film and even says if you're going to put it on social media please blur out the other children.

I do think don't being able to film is pretty harsh but that is the rule so I think it's a bit unreasonable to break it. But I can't get that mad about it, especially as you're just showing your husband.

The circumstances may have changed since then, new children in the class, the family circumstances changed or simply a parent withdrew consent for their own reasons.

Oh come on, how much more argufying do you want here?
So you and you DH are paragons of sense and sensitivity, but what if he’s away on an oil rig and sends his mates in the footy team back home the video little Andromeda in her 🙏🏻BVM getup, when the Christmas beers are going round?
I just mean, you do not have complete control.

But it’s the flouting of the rule itself that’s the main issue.
At that rate, the school nativity would be glimpsed through a thicket of everybody’s bright screens. What a joy.

Because daddy seeing a video of their precious child in a performance is far more important than a child being able to actually perform and join in with classmates, even though that child could have had to have made numerous adjustments in their short life just to stay safe. Daddy’s wants come first. Apparently.

Yes possibly, but unlikely. It's a very small class

Thank you for that. The child felt terrible too. As you know a child in care has likely faced multiple disruptions and moves in their lives, lost their families in the process and perhaps puts more emphasis on the routines of school and familiar teachers and friends. So when they had to move schools AGAIN because a parent had videoed a performance it was heartbreaking for them. But it was court ordered because of risk of abduction was so very serious. And now they do not take part in events where other parents could video or photograph - and yet another thing they miss out on.

As a mother of a child who's location is being protected you are being very unreasonable. Just because don't plan on sharing it on social media, you are giving other parents the green light to film as well. It takes one person to share on social media. The rules are there for a reason. It is everyone's responsibility. If everyone adopted your attitude some children are put at risk. If one child is put at risk then filming is not ok. It's selfish behaviour.

Of course it's fine, the rules don't apply to you, do they. Oh, the entitlement. I hope you get caught and banned from future performances. You're putting at-risk children in increased danger.

You are an absolute chomper

If thems the rules....

I would be absolutely furious if I knew some random woman and her husband had video footage of my child. You genuinely have no idea what people do with these videos and that is why there is a blanket ban. It’s not just to not have them on social media. You have no idea what people are doing with them. You are being very unreasonable.

Apparently it does trump that in some schools where filming is allowed 🤷

That doesn't change the fact that you're wrong.

I can't see the problem with it to be honest. The ban is to make sure it doesn't end up on social media which you're not doing anyway. I'd probably do the same if I wasn't so paranoid about being caught.

Oh ffs people are insane. Yanbu

It does give it a bit of nuance though

Oh god this.

I mean I never do as we both always go ourselves, and I can't stand phone being shoved in children's faces constantly.

But I don't think you are being that unreasonable tbh. The likelihood of someone hacking your phone stealing a Nativity video and that making its way in to the hands of some evil person trying to track down one particular child who happens to be in that video, and being able to work out which school it is etc etc is so very very unlikely

So move your precious child to one of those schools! Or speak to the school about the possibility of taking a photo of your dc in their costume. You don’t know why each individual school makes the decision they do and nor should you be party to that information.

Dear god are people really thus obtuse and close minded? 🤦🏽‍♀️

I am so glad primary school days are behind me 😂 parents like you were ‘known’

In those schools they will not have children for whom filming could be dangerous.