Would you/have you secretly filmed at your child's Nativity?

[Dramatic]

So our school has a policy that you aren't allowed to film/take photos at all, total blanket ban. They don't take photos or film themselves either.

My husband works away and never gets to see the plays so I secretly film them/take photos (just my child's part but there are others in the background) and I show the videos to him.

I don't put them on any social media or send them to anyone else, even Grandparents etc.

Aibu?

You have been specifically told not to film at a school concert. Do you think you know better than the Family Court, social workers etc who have put these arrangements in place?
Don't you realise that if you film without authority other parents will do too, and then there's no control over where the videos are shown?
You have been told not to film full stop. I bet you're also the type of person who thinks it's fine for you to park on double yellows, speed etc because you think it won't do anyone any harm.

The photos the school takes for the website and newsletter will have been carefully gone through to remove any children whose parents or guardians didn’t give photo permission though. So this argument is irrelevant

😂

When schools put photos on the newsletter or website, they know which children have online photo permission. In my class, around half do and half don't. Sometimes I need to stage photos to ensure I only have photos of those with permission if I want to be able to put up anything at all.

But surely it would be the same if it was a video in the local park? Or town centre or whatever? They could still easily track someone from that.

But you've been on the other end of this and claim to understand the risks to these children. I'm sure those parents woukd love nothing more than to have a video of their children in the nativity too and share with loved ones, but understand why they cannot do this.

No it pisses me off when people park on the yellow lines outside school and I don't speed either 🤷

You just have no right to have that though. Why can’t you understand? You are not above anyone else here. We would probably all love a video but we can’t have them. Tough shit.

A video in a local park doesn’t tell someone where my child is 6 hours a day.

Yes, but schools have a duty of care, and could get into trouble if the video falls into the wrong hands.
Everyone needs to feel safe, and someone this matters to could notice you filming, or hear about you doing this, after all you're ok about mentioning it here.

Its simple.

Once a video exists, the school has no control over what a parent does with it. They can say "No social media" but they can't actually stop you.

The only way they can control things is to ban the making of videos all together. Then they can (hopefully) control where images of the children end up.

That response makes your attitude all the more repellent and irresponsible.

But even if ghastly misuse of images were not a concern in our reality, I do not see why you feel entitled to ignore the school’s carefully considered rules.

This shocks me very much, and dramatic though it may sound, I’m of the opinion that it’s this attitude of ‘My freedom is always the most important thing’ in parents which is causing pretty much all the scofflaw behaviour and absence of all respect in so many young people.
(Now that I see it written 👆🏼out, I realise I’m just stating the bleedin’ obvious, of course! 🤷🏼‍♀️)

Quite, plus if you knew it was a risk to your child you could choose not to go there.

One particular foster child of ours is not allowed out in public wearing a school uniform because it is such a risk. Even if the children in a play are in costume being filmed does not mitigate the risk completely there is often something that gives away what/where the school is. In this case the family were actively searching for any detail about what school the child attended, and found something so slight, but ultimately ended in a dangerous situation and the child had to change schools. All for the sake of a video that a parent insisted was only for their own personal viewing. As I said elsewhere, they may show only one person but that one person could be the wrong person.

It's an anonymous forum, no one knows who I am.

Are you being deliberately obtuse?
The majority respect the rules because they are ADULTS and understand that is for the common good. I despise selfish people like yourself. Or you are just extremely thick🤷‍♀️

OP, I don’t doubt you will only show your dh - but - consider the applications you have on your phone. Go have a look at how many of those applications allow full access by default to your photos.

Can you not see how it could end up in the wrong hands? I appreciate for those doing good things the connectivity we have is a real bonus but you don’t understand how easy it is now to give data away. Without even really realising you have.

Are you really unable to open your mind just a teeny tiny bit and at least try to understand what multiple posters have explained to you? Do you often struggle in understanding things?

Your dh not seeing his dc perform once in 3 years barely has an adverse effect on his or your dc lives. You filming (thereby setting a precedent) could have an adverse effect on a child’s life. Forget about outside and in public. In this particular circumstance does your dh’s wants trump a child’s? Simple yes or no.

There are no specific circumstances. The school has stated no recording for a reason - presumably as parents have broken the rule previously.

Why should you record and not others?

No🙄 with a school you can almost guarantee that child will be there Monday - Friday term time. There's far less risk at a park/anywhere in public they might go to on any day of the year at any time of day and might have only gone to as a one off visiting that area.

No, people just don't like to listen to actual logic.

I think everyone should be able to record, I've already said that.

On this you have to trust the school as they will have more info than you. My school allow filming but ask that photos are not shared on social media. Every year there is a bit of back and forth over whether WhatsApp counts as social media and you can’t ever 100% trust that parents are following it.

Presumably my school allows this because there aren’t children at higher risk. If a school says no filming then that really is for a reason and should be followed.

I really do hope another parent sees you filming and reports you to the school, and the school bans you from going to any more school concerts.

Indeed. You’re clearly struggling with that despite repeated explanations.