Would you/have you secretly filmed at your child's Nativity?

[Dramatic]

So our school has a policy that you aren't allowed to film/take photos at all, total blanket ban. They don't take photos or film themselves either.

My husband works away and never gets to see the plays so I secretly film them/take photos (just my child's part but there are others in the background) and I show the videos to him.

I don't put them on any social media or send them to anyone else, even Grandparents etc.

Aibu?

People post photos on SM constantly with others in the background. So therefore them being out in public is much more of a risk than me taking a video and only showing my husband.

Every parent with this attitude escalates the chances of the video being shared elsewhere. So if half the parents are secretly filming the chances are much greater.

If there is a child at risk in that school why would you be prepared to risk harm to that child just so your OH can watch a video clip.

Have some respect and self control ffs.

Not read thread so probably repeating others.

I think it's wrong to film against the school's wishes.

Many schools produce an official video, which is a good idea as it will be better quality than something covertly done, and they will know how to film safely and sensitively.
Maybe suggest to the school for future plays.

Also I would take photos of your child dressed in their costume at home or after the play (if they're not too tired,) against the backdrop, eg starry sky or stable etc.

It’s irrelevant that you don’t show anyone other than your husband, schools have policies around not taking photos for a reason, they may have children who could be at risk if photos were somehow seen

I still think it’s worth considering what you’re teaching your kid and all the rest of the children by just ignoring what the teachers say to do. It’s not a great lesson

Not if the viewer can work out which school.

Are you not seeing all the comments where people are explaining how filming in schools SPECIFICALLY is a risk? Due to how predators often focus on school photos/videos/info?

There will be vulnerable looked after
children whose safety, wellbeing and lives could be put at risk or harmed by people sharing photos and films.

the simplest way to stop adults being arseholes is to ban filming.

This has already been covered multiple times already at this point you're being deliberately obtuse.

I have been there and I am well aware that being out in public was much more of a risk. Thankfully he is behind bars now but there was a time that I would be constantly looking over my shoulder just in case. Believe me I am not naive to the danger men can pose to women and children, I almost died because of it and me and the kids still carry the scars.

I am capable of rational thought though, and a parent having a video of their own child at a Nativity that is kept completely private is the very least of someone's worries who is actually going through that.

The foster child we look after who is at risk of abduction, would not be allowed in the street in their school uniform and there are things put in place so they are not seen to enter or exit the school. Some years ago another parent did take a video which showed the foster child, although they did not put it on social media, despite being asked not to. But it was still considered a major safeguarding issue and Children's Services ultimately made the decision that the foster child should change schools. This may sound very dramatic, but there are of course families for whom the risk is just too great. All for the sake of a parent who believed their right to take the video was more important than another child's safety.

Yeah I've covered it but people keep saying it. Or is it only ok for it to keep being repeated if it's an opinion you agree with?

I call windup. Nobody can be this dense and not even acknowledge that opposing views have some good and thought provoking points.

I guess the question for the OP is to ask whether she’d have any objections to being secretly recorded without her consent. After all, if the person filming it was only using it for personal reasons and not putting it on social media there’s no issue is there?

If the rule is no recording then everyone present at the school has a reasonable expectation that they are not going to end up on someone’s home movie. I think normalising secret recording in a school is, to put it mildly, not on.

Or work out where in public they are.

100% unreasonable. If there is a blanket ban, I'd automatically think there is someone in school that is highly at risk. Esp as the school also don't take photos of videos. It's not worth the risk.

Our school doesn't have a ban but in the pasted have warned if it goes beyond immediately family and they know about it, they will have a blanket ban for future performances.

What if you are not being as discreet as you think but the person who notices isn't bothered.

What if that person then goes on to tell other parents that @Dramatic was seen filming and then the parent of the vulnerable child finds out and is now in a dilemma as to wether they need to move!

If someone was filming their own child and I was in the background then why would I have a problem with it? I'm sure it's happened on multiple occasions.

Crikey you really are slow off the block OP.

Being out in public was more of a risk for you, in your circumstances. My kids aren’t at risk in the street because their birth family don’t know where they are. A video showing them in their school uniform being seen by the wrong person changes that instantly.

YABU. I'm not doubting that you only show your DH. But everyone could give the same reason - my DH can't be here, I'll only show it to him. Next thing, 30+ parents/ grandparents/ aunties/ uncles are filming. Are you alright with your kid being filmed by 30 strangers? If not, why should anyone be alright with you filming their kid?

Also, teachers have enough to do, without having to discuss every rule to discover why they shouldn't apply to you specifically.

If you are genuinely not naive, a troll, rational, not stupid, fully understand the risks etc then surely the only conclusion we can come to is that your intention is to cause these parents suffering and are deliberately putting the children at risk of harm.

The school does take photos, they put them on the newsletter (which can be viewed by anyone through the website) they don't take photos of the Nativity though, and if they do it is usually one or two and you can't even see your own child.

Or I just want a private video of my own child at the Nativity?

So presumably the OP sends the video to DH while he is working offshore. How can you be certain that another person working offshore doesn't access his phone at any time? I would be steaming angry if I discovered that someone was filming my child when I assumed that everyone in that room was in agreement that filming or photos was forbidden, I hope you get caught as your child is in year 2 there are plenty more years for you to get caught and banned from future school plays.