If money was no object, would you live alone?

[SantiagoShaming]

I love DP, but I also always loved living alone. We ended up living together because it makes economic sense, but having had this debate with a few female friends recently, almost all of us said we would actually prefer living alone and having two homes if money wasn’t an issue—even the married ones!

Plenty of research exists to show men are better off when living with women and women don’t benefit in the same way by living with men. Just interested in opinions. For me, it’s mostly about knowing the place will be beautiful, quiet, tidy, clean and that I can be alone if I want.

Yes, living alone is so much better.

Sounds good, curious, do you each spend a night or two at each others each week, are your homes near to each other?

You have misunderstood me. I live alone and love it - I will never live with any partner again. But if you read the original question in the title, it is really meant for people who already live with a partner. These people are basically saying that they only live with their partner because it makes life more affordable. Which I said was sobering, not horrifying. I think it's sad and says a lot about relationships.

Women are more often doing the skivvying at home, so I think this is a gendered issue and men benefit more from living with women.

No. I absolutely love my husband and we love spending time together. Some of my favourite time is the time we just lie and chat before falling asleep each night and then the hot cuppa he brings me in the morning.
We have time apart and aspects of our lives that we do independently of each other but then it’s great to reconnect again.

@Zov

I imagine most people who are desperate to be alone/live alone don't have very good relationships. To be married/in a long term relationship and not want to live with your partner anymore doesn't scream 'solid, loving relationship' (to me.) JMO.

This always gets trotted out and its utter bollocks. I hate the way cohabitation is used as some marker of quality in a relationship on here. A lot of people are naturally happier living in their own space and being in control of their domain. It's hard to live with another adult: however emotionally compatible you may be you have to compromise in a lot of areas.

Cohabitation doesn't bring out the best in people, particularly men, many of whom are hardwired to default to doing fairly little even if they know they should pull their weight. Even if they're not like this, everything about cohabitation draws you towards mediocrity and lack of adventure. People get boring when you're having conversations on repeat, which is sort of unavoidable. They bicker over domestic routines, food, television choices, lifestyle choices, bedtimes. People take one another for granted: there's usually less spontaneity, less sex, less going out.

And no one can find anyone who is totally compatible with them: anyone who claims they are is compromising in some way. Which is fine: some compromise is necessary in a relationship. But not everyone loves this.

Also the domesticity of modern life isn't sexy or intellectually stimulating. There's often no excitement, little attempt to think differently or adopt a growth mindset. People get set in incredibly predictable routines and roles. Some people love that, others find it incredibly stifling.

I live with my DP and daughter and by and large it works pretty well. My DP is loving and considerate and generally the upside of living with him (just about) cancels out my inherent feeling of being stifled by living with a man. But I still yearn for the eight years I lived alone with DD: it was a wonderful time. And I can promise you if DP and I split up I would never cohabit again.

Yes I do.
It may sound bad to some, but my father was terminally ill and he discussed what was in his will. I was the sole executor and beneficiary. So I started divorce proceedings immediately.

My ideal would be to each have 2 semi detached next to each other with a connecting door that had to be unlocked from both sides- like in a hotel room, so we both would have to choose to unlock it. I’m sure most of the time it would be unlocked but the thought of having my own clutter free space is very tempting.
I may have thought this through a bit too much.

No. I love having some time to myself in the house, but overall I love living with DH.

Plus I have absolutely no idea how the dishwasher works.

No, I enjoy his company and we split the chores. I was a single mum for 14 years before we lived together, and I was fine living alone, and I'm glad I had that experience because it helped me be socially independent. But life is happier with him around because we get on and we're a team. I expect there's a good chance I'll end up living alone later in life (because we're the same age, and statistically men die earlier than women), and I know I'd be fine with that too.

Definitely not. But I would have a super big house with a huge garage for all his crap, a boot room so we weren’t rowing over shoes / bags / coats left lying abouts his and hers en-suites, cleaner daily etc

so life would be made easier but I’d still want to live together and be in the same room too

I live alone it’s fantastic!!!

Why would I not want it to be every day?

If I want to go and do something on my own I can. But I'm not going to commit to what is essentially a part time relationship with someone. I can't think of any scenario in which my relationship with my partner would be improved by spending more time apart.

I get the quality time thing. We're not at all joined at the hip, we have very separate and very active work and social lives, so we're used to making the most of our time together. We wouldn't want that time to be lessened.

No, I kind of like having him around but if money were no object then I’d be living in a massive country estate and he would have his quarters and I would have mine.

I can't have dogs now and I am widowed too.

This absolutely.

My DH of 40 years and I agree that we’d have a massive house with a wing each, we’d probably share a bedroom but it would be two doubles pushed together with seperate duvets. I love going on holiday when it’s two big beds.
I’m very happy in my own company.

welllll, DH could well only be living with me because a) nobody else would; & b) he absolutely cannot (& doesn’t really want to) look after himself -or any1 else, I do it all.

I do live alone. Not through choice but I'm pretty sure I'd neve want to live with another man.

You just have to look at those who win the lottery and end up divorced.

Nope, I love living with DH and would hate to live alone. And that's after I was very independent in my 20s and 30s, and waiting 10 years after meeting DH, not living together throughout that time, but going on holidays together and spending most evenings and most of the weekend together, before we got married.

We never lived together before marriage and bought our home jointly just a couple of weeks prior to the wedding, but still didn't move in till wedding night.

Barely ever spent a night apart since, only when one of us has been in hospital or a couple of time (in nearly 30 years) when one or other of us had to stay over in a hotel for work.

We both say we'll hate it when one or other of us dies, but neither of us has any intention of marrying/living with someone again either.

Yes, and I do! I am never living with another adult again! (I do, however, appreciate that I'm lucky in that my house comes with my job; if I didn't have that, and its very low rent, and a walking commute, I'd struggle financially).

It has the perks of being able to have some downtime after being at work. It's as clean as I like, it's quiet, I can have as many pets as I want, I can starfish in bed, and I don't have to compromise (I spent my childhood doing this, and generally lost out to my sibling) on anything, from decorating or what to have for dinner! Oh, and I can eat as much fish as I like without anyone complaining that it smells.

I loved living alone, but I love living with my DH more.

I was just thinking about this when the kids were at school today . I coparent and love it when am on my own. I love my kids company of course but I also enjoy my own company. Living with a man in the future is a no no for me. We can go on holidays together but separate at the airport.

Oh yes. DH knows if I ever had a lottery win, I’d be off 😆

So you don’t live alone then.

Yes.
Well I am going to be anyway soon but if I were still married I would still prefer my own house. My divorced parents have been back together but living apart longer than their marriage was and they love it.

I don’t envisage that with my ex but I love living alone, it’s fantastic (just expensive).