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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If money was no object, would you live alone?

215 replies

SantiagoShaming · 18/12/2025 16:34

I love DP, but I also always loved living alone. We ended up living together because it makes economic sense, but having had this debate with a few female friends recently, almost all of us said we would actually prefer living alone and having two homes if money wasn’t an issue—even the married ones!

Plenty of research exists to show men are better off when living with women and women don’t benefit in the same way by living with men. Just interested in opinions. For me, it’s mostly about knowing the place will be beautiful, quiet, tidy, clean and that I can be alone if I want.

OP posts:
lifeonmars100 · 18/12/2025 17:28

I live alone and there are pros and cons, I do get lonely but always tell myself that it is better than being with some bloke that slobs around, does not help with running the house or cook. When I feel a bit sorry for myself I find that reading some of the posts on here from women living with horrible men cures me straight away.

aforasshole · 18/12/2025 17:28

Absolutely.

Seawolves · 18/12/2025 17:29

Depends. If I could live with DH again I would in a heartbeat

I don't want to share my home with any other man though.

Zov · 18/12/2025 17:29

Kimura · 18/12/2025 17:24

No way.

Don't get me wrong, my partner and I love nothing more than having the house to ourselves for a few days (I'm actually enjoying that privilege as we speak - lovely stuff) but I'd hate to live alone permanently. I enjoy their company too much.

This. ^ Really odd to claim you have a loving relationship, and really love your partner/spouse, but you actually can't stand living with them, and would much rather live alone. Confused

As I said, it's just my opinion. I just don't understand it. People shouldn't be offended unless I have hit a raw nerve.

glendabrownlow · 18/12/2025 17:31

Yes. I lived alone for 5 years and it was one of the happiest periods of my life.

Holluschickie · 18/12/2025 17:31

In my culture people who don't want to live with their parents are considered to not love their parents enough .😀
It's just my opinion.

Autumvibes · 18/12/2025 17:32

No definitely not, I actually enjoy living with my dh

AngelinaFibres · 18/12/2025 17:32

With first husband definitely. I'd be out of the door and into my own lovely house with a lovely garden the minute the money hit my bank account . Byeeeeee.
Second husband definitely not. He's lovely ,I can make the house however I want it and I have a beautiful garden I get to spend hours in in the summer. Life is better with him than living in a separate space.
If I lost him would I live with anyone else. Nope.

currentlybrunette · 18/12/2025 17:32

No. I’d love a bigger house so we could have our own space within it but definitely live together.

epicpaydat · 18/12/2025 17:32

Absolutely not. I love living with DH. He’s not a dick though.

sammylady37 · 18/12/2025 17:34

I’ve lived alone since I was 21, am now 46. I will never live with someone. I love living on my own, having my own space all the time, the house being quiet & peaceful, as I left it when I return home, and not having to interact with anyone unless I choose to. I’d hate the idea of coming home after work and having to engage with others the minute I came in the door.

BumpyaDaisyevna · 18/12/2025 17:36

No way. Recently I spent 3 days alone in the house for the first time in probably 25 years. The first couple of days were great, I did whatever I wanted, but after that it got lonely and depressing without DH and the teens.

GalaxyJam · 18/12/2025 17:37

Holluschickie · 18/12/2025 17:31

In my culture people who don't want to live with their parents are considered to not love their parents enough .😀
It's just my opinion.

I definitely don’t love my parents enough to live with them 😁

blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 18/12/2025 17:37

Hell yes

Holluschickie · 18/12/2025 17:38

GalaxyJam · 18/12/2025 17:37

I definitely don’t love my parents enough to live with them 😁

Show quote history

Oh me neither! Though I would like to have a granny flat for my mum or move her next to me.
My ideal setup would be to have me, DH, 2 DC and mum living next to each other on the same street.

TimeForATerf · 18/12/2025 17:39

DH works away all week and has done for all of our 37 years living together so it’s almost as though we do live separately. I love my peace and tidiness and seeing only to myself Monday-Friday. To be honest I’m dreading retirement and if anything happened to DH, and I genuinely hope it doesn’t because I do love him very much, I wouldn’t have another man under my roof.

FigAboutTheRules · 18/12/2025 17:41

What's really sobering is that women people who answer yes to this question are basically saying that they only live with their partner/husband for financial reasons.

boxofbuttons · 18/12/2025 17:42

Mmm, no. I like living with DH and the daily bits of life with him around. When he went away for an extended trip I also loved having the house to myself for the same reasons I loved it when I lived alone and not with flatmates - things are where I left them, only my own mess, etc etc. But DH doesn't specifically as a man or partner make that any worse than anyone eles I've ever lived with, and it's worth it. I would have a bigger house though so that we had a proper spare bedroom (both of our spares are offices with no room left for beds at the moment and if we had the room I think we'd sleep apart a couple of nights a week because of different schedules, which we'd both be happy with for a balance of good sleep vs time together).

Original poster
SantiagoShaming · 18/12/2025 17:43

@TimeForATerf This is similar to our situation—it’s definitely an adjustment! Lots of forces families come apart post-retirement because it’s so hard to get used to.

OP posts:
MyrtleLion · 18/12/2025 17:43

I wouldn't want to live separately. I have lived alone and I do love it but I really like living with him. Maybe because he does so much around the house and he WFH full time with very few meetings so he's mostly interruptable and available for a chat.

We also have his adult learning disabled daughter living with us, which is now fine, but has been challenging.

I think I would have her living in a flat nearby and we would have proper separate ensuite bedrooms (so two bedrooms exactly like our current room).

XenoBitch · 18/12/2025 17:45

FigAboutTheRules · 18/12/2025 17:41

What's really sobering is that women people who answer yes to this question are basically saying that they only live with their partner/husband for financial reasons.

Both me and my DP would be worse off if we lived together (I would lose my UC and he would have to support us both. He is on £30k).
But we both need our own space so it is irrelevant really.

Holluschickie · 18/12/2025 17:45

FigAboutTheRules · 18/12/2025 17:41

What's really sobering is that women people who answer yes to this question are basically saying that they only live with their partner/husband for financial reasons.

Men also may feel this way? And why is it so horrifying? Loving someone does not mean you have to live with them. I love my DS to bits but am glad he's got a job that allows him to move out at last.

Living with someone involves compromise and as you get older, compromise becomes harder.

PonkyPonky · 18/12/2025 17:45

No I wouldn’t want live apart from DH but I would have separate bedrooms if we had the space for it. I’m a delicate sleeper at the best of times but his snoring gives me the rage. I’d love to be able to walk down the hall to his room in the morning after a full nights rest. The bathroom staying shiny between cleans is appealing though. Perhaps we’d have separate bathrooms in the lottery house also

Meadowfinch · 18/12/2025 17:46

I live with my DS. It's perfect. 😊

No-one moaning about the weather or work or traffic. No criticism. The bathrooms are clean.

Lastfroginthebox · 18/12/2025 17:46

I live alone and love it. My partner lives 60 miles away. He'd like us to live together but I won't even contemplate it. I always thought I'd love living on my own but it took me over 50 years to finally achieve it. ( Married young, had children...) I'm not rich and finances are a struggle sometimes but I'd rather be poor than share my space.