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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

House guest unwell — should they stay or leave?

423 replies

grittie · 18/12/2025 04:57

DS and his relatively new girlfriend are staying with us for the week, they arrived on Monday and are due to leave on Saturday. His poor girlfriend is suffering from quite the stomach bug, she has been being sick all night. We have a lot of plans over the next few days, including hosting an extended family meal tonight.
DH thinks I should gently suggest she may be more comfortable at home (4 hour drive away) as she doesn’t know us yet (prior to this week we’d only met her once and that ended up only being for about 30 minutes as our train had been delayed and they had plans), the entire family (DHs siblings, my sister, nieces/nephews) are due over tonight and tomorrow we are supposed to be going into our local Christmas markets and then to a panto with our other son and his children in the evening. I’m also conscious we don’t want to spread any illness before Christmas!

However I also think it would be rude to ask them to leave and can’t imagine a 4 hour drive with a stomach bug would be much.

So is DH right and we should ask them gently if they’d rather leave? Or is it better to have them stay until she is better?

OP posts:
Giftmarse · 18/12/2025 08:07

YANBU because you think it would be wrong to askher to leave.

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 18/12/2025 08:08

I’d not ask them to leave.

If you have 2 toilets then I’d keep her to using one of them for the sickness and ask her to keep to there and their room.

id tell the other visitors that are due that she’s sick but keeping to herself and up to them if they want to chance it or not.

schoolfriend · 18/12/2025 08:09

Not sure how to vote but no, you obviously shouldn’t ask someone with a stomach bug to drive 4 hours to get home. I’m sure she’ll be staying in her room anyway. Just leave her to it poor girl.

HillBetty · 18/12/2025 08:10

Would you ask your child to leave?

Would u drive 4 hours with a bug?

Isolate and bleach. Buy a spray bleach to get all around the room.

Be kind

Mrs do as you would be done by

Bloozie · 18/12/2025 08:11

If I were you I’d want her out and gone.

if I were her I’d want to be out and gone. it would be awful being that ill in a stranger’s home.

However she is too poorly to travel that far. If you have more than one loo, assign one to her. Stock up on bleach. Wash your hands and wipe doorknobs obsessively. I hope she’s better soon, poor duck.

sydi · 18/12/2025 08:13

Oh it's like Pride & Prejudice when Jane ends up having to stay with the Bingley's and then she falls in love with him 😂 So you've got to let her stay!

Joking aside, my DD is nearly always sick during the night when she stays over somewhere - I think it's just different bacteria unsettles her stomach or something, so it could just be that.

Florencesndzebedee · 18/12/2025 08:15

Personally, if I was ill I’d want to get home asap or into a hotel if I couldn’t do a 4 hr journey. She’s probably feeling very awkward and possibly a bit embarrassed so I don’t think it’s an outrageous discussion to have. It would have to be handled sensitively and would be best coming from your son.

LoudSnoringDog · 18/12/2025 08:15

Impossible to even consider a 4 hour journey with a stomach bug. What nonsense.

Ophy83 · 18/12/2025 08:19

You have to let everyone else know so they can make a fair choice about whether to risk the virus just before Christmas. From the sounds of it you and your DH have already been exposed to it so may already have it.

GoodQueenWenceslaus · 18/12/2025 08:20

Next time your husband gets this sort of bug, tell him you expect him to get in a car and make a four hour journey for your convenience.

Gloriia · 18/12/2025 08:22

As everyone else has said you need to cancel visitors as whatever she has you may now all be incubating.

Yes thought she should leave, can't her parents collect her? I'd be horrified if one of our dc was unwell and being a nuisance in someone else's home.

SodiumNitritePlease · 18/12/2025 08:24

It would be poetic justice if your DH went down with the same virus. Make sure you ship him a few miles away mid-vomit so he can be more comfortable.

Clarabell77 · 18/12/2025 08:25

ChateauMargaux · 18/12/2025 05:32

She has been sick in your house, less than 24 hours before the rest of your guests are due, shipping her out will reduce but not eliminate the risk. You need to tell all.of the other guests so they can make their own decisions. You should take care of this woman, as you would your own child. I hope she is feeling better soon and that can go ahead with some of your plans but this is a delicate situation from all angles.

This. The poor girl will also be mortified enough never mind being asked to leave. Your husband is out of order to suggest this.

stichguru · 18/12/2025 08:26

Let them stay and cancel your other visitors. It's unpleasant for you all that this has happened, but that's life. It is very unpleasant travelling with a stomach bug and to expect someone to do so just so your life can go on as normal is cruel and selfish. Plus even if they did go, by tonight you and your hubby could just be starting to be infections with the bug. Whether your guest stay or go, to allow other people to come into the house tonight would be mean and rotten. You and hubby need to be clear for 48 hours before that happens.

Gloriia · 18/12/2025 08:27

SodiumNitritePlease · 18/12/2025 08:24

It would be poetic justice if your DH went down with the same virus. Make sure you ship him a few miles away mid-vomit so he can be more comfortable.

He's bound to, the point is it's his home so he is entitled to stay put.

If you're a guest in someone else's home with an infectious virus you leave. It's basic good manners.

SodiumNitritePlease · 18/12/2025 08:28

Gloriia · 18/12/2025 08:27

He's bound to, the point is it's his home so he is entitled to stay put.

If you're a guest in someone else's home with an infectious virus you leave. It's basic good manners.

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I don’t believe you are being serious.

PegDope · 18/12/2025 08:29

Humanity has really lost its empathy.

Me, me, I …

TooHotWaterBottle · 18/12/2025 08:31

Mangoes822 · 18/12/2025 05:17

Get them into nearest travellodge not to spread stomach bug to the rest of the family, theres nothing to be offended at make sure they are comfortable there and if they need anything you drop it by. Im sure your other huests wont be impressed when they arrive to find out there is noro/rotavirus lurking around,worse if someone has small children or elderly relative in their household

Amazing - spread it to the poor staff instead for Christmas.

Kitterkitkat · 18/12/2025 08:32

We don't know enough about bathroom arrangements.

I think it's fine to gently ask where she'd feel more comfortable, but not to kick her out. Hopefully it will clear soon. Stomach probs are horrid!

Gloriia · 18/12/2025 08:39

TooHotWaterBottle · 18/12/2025 08:31

Amazing - spread it to the poor staff instead for Christmas.

Show quote history

She won't be sharing a room with the staff.

LighthouseLED · 18/12/2025 08:40

Gloriia · 18/12/2025 08:27

He's bound to, the point is it's his home so he is entitled to stay put.

If you're a guest in someone else's home with an infectious virus you leave. It's basic good manners.

Show quote history

And what if you are not well enough to travel?

Just camp at the side of the road?

Gloriia · 18/12/2025 08:41

PegDope · 18/12/2025 08:29

Humanity has really lost its empathy.

Me, me, I …

It's Christmas, they have other guests coming. The last thing anyone needs is an ill houseguest so the ds and his gf should use their common sense and leave either to a hotel or drive back to her home.

ChillWith · 18/12/2025 08:41

Why doesn't your husband 'gently suggest' it as he came up with the idea in the first placed and see how far that gets him.

SodiumNitritePlease · 18/12/2025 08:44

Gloriia · 18/12/2025 08:41

It's Christmas, they have other guests coming. The last thing anyone needs is an ill houseguest so the ds and his gf should use their common sense and leave either to a hotel or drive back to her home.

Show quote history

Are you the DH posting?

Itsseweasy · 18/12/2025 08:44

If you have only 1 toilet that everyone is sharing, you are pretty much guaranteed to catch it if it’s norovirus.
The germs are already in your home and they spread so easily, I would not be inviting anyone to come anywhere near your house this week.
Personal experience speaking here!
We have found it takes 48 hours for the first symptoms to show after being exposed to germs, so you’ll know soon enough if you’ve caught it too.
Fingers crossed you manage to escape it somehow - awful, horrible illness.
As for sending your son’s girlfriend away now - at this point the damage has already been done. You’d be better off letting her stay put (poor thing) and just keep your house off limits to guests.
Meet them elsewhere if you are still well.

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