Helped Dd with homework, teacher questioning her

[Snoopyschristmasclassic]

Just wanted others perspective on this as feeling a bit uncomfortable

Dd, who is 7, was off ill recently for a few days with a virus. When she returned, the teacher gave her some work she had missed to catch up on, dd had this plus nightly homework.
At the weekend, she was trying to complete the rest of it for school, is still not 100% but tried really hard and then started to get frustrated and upset and wasn’t able to do more. Worth noting that Dd is v bright, but is Nd and sometimes easily overwhelmed.
Dd was worried she would get into trouble at school so I helped her by colouring the sheet for her.

Dd came home on the first day she handed in her homework folder with all the sheets in and said the teacher asked her if she had done this sheet herself, Dd said yes. I said to her she should have said I helped her with it, it’s ok. I thought that was that and forgot about it.
Today Dd came home and said that the teacher had asked her again if she did it by herself and Dd said yes and the teacher then asked if she was sure she did.

Dd is now very anxious, I said i’d send in a note saying I helped you with it as she wasn’t feeling well and was a bit overwhelmed. She doesn’t want me to though as thinks the teacher will be cross with her.

Any thoughts on this? Shall I send the teacher a quick email?

Which holiday exactly?

🙄

My comment was intended to be flippant and to point out how yours came across: condescending and demeaning.

You use the words "ridiculous" and "daft" to describe the OP's thread and her behaviour, you proceed to state emphatically "an over anxious mother is raising an over anxious child." And having not ridiculed enough, you then query whether op is right that her child is bright with the sneery comment that they "can't cope with two pages of a workbook in the holidays."

There are ways and ways of making points and if any ways were "bitchy" I think you need to turn that critical eye inward onto they way you expressed yourself.

It is quite clear I was not really suggesting you return to Early Years: the comment was flippant and meant as a catch-yourself.

But your hovers in the air as a real opinion?

OH and fwiw most people have heard of Maslow's pyramid thingy and most adults prefer rewards that aren't stickers.

My mum. helped me write a piece on trade in the roman times. My teacher's comment. -'This is very complicated. Do you understand it'

'This is very complicated. Do you understand it'

😂

It's funny how these thangs stay with us years later.

I helped DD with her art homework, while she was revising for other subjects that she found quite tricky. Her teacher’s comment ? “You could’ve put more effort in this!”. I honestly tried my best . 😂😂

Yep. Implication without accusation. I hated history.

Brilliant!!

I would message the teacher and explain. Also I feel catch up homework given to children who have been unwell is rather unusual and not helpful, and would encourage you to politely decline DD doing this in future. We are close to the end of term: I am crossing my fingers that you have a more empathetic teacher next year who your DD doesn't find scary. I am a teacher and my DD14 still has some teachers she would never approach because she finds them 'scary'. I have occasionally had colleagues who I have considered to be 'scary' too. It does happen. It shouldn't. So sorry from me that this has been DDs experience.

I think you may not do homework for her in the future after this experience and that would be better. I can totally see why you did but I don't think it serves much purpose. I'm not massively excited about homework for 7 year olds myself anyway aside from some reading/times table practice.

Parents doing homework has become increasingly common and is frustrating to teachers. We can usually tell and it doesn't feel fair or helpful. My favourite was a child who was asked what had made him choose the project he had done and he cheerfully revealed that he hadn't chosen it but his mum had made it when he'd gone to bed!

The reason not to do your child's homework/class project is that yours will often be better than theirs would have been and they can be less keen to try themselves in future or think the point is producing a scale model of the titanic when actually it is the process of choosing what to do and carrying that out.

i suspect this is a one off for you guys but it really is better for children's leaning and more critically, their self-esteem, for parents to keep their fabulous ideas and brilliant scissor skills to themselves. It is like a forerunner to screening for AI to pick the best decorated plate when we have to discount all the ones done by parents and then a bit baffling for kids when the winner is a child like approximation of what some adults have sent in.

I would guess that they have done something similar in class and DD has struggled with it so teacher is trying to clarify if DD did the work on her own or had help. I’d definitely Neil’s the teacher to let them know and that DD is anxious about it.

🤣🤣

a bit baffling for kids when the winner is a child like approximation of what some adults have sent in.

What I don't get about education is why IS there a winner?

Much of the time it teaches weird attitudes. Life is what you make of it and there can be many winners. This focus on identifying numero uno and ranking children is a bit odd to me. It discounts subjectivity and personal betterment.