Page 2 | Helped Dd with homework, teacher questioning her

Snoopyschristmasclassic · 2025-12-17T21:09:08+00:00

Just wanted others perspective on this as feeling a bit uncomfortable Dd, who is 7, was off ill recently for a few days with a virus. When she returned, the teacher gave her some work she had missed to catch up on, dd had this plus nightly homework. At the weekend, she was trying to complete the rest of it for school, is still not 100% but tried really hard and then started to get frustrated and upset and wasn’t able to do more. Worth noting that Dd is v bright, but is Nd and sometimes easily overwhelmed. Dd was worried she would get into trouble at school so I helped her by colouring the sheet for her. Dd came home on the first day she handed in her homework folder with all the sheets in and said the teacher asked her if she had done this sheet herself, Dd said yes. I said to her she should have said I helped her with it, it’s ok. I thought that was that and forgot about it. Today Dd came home and said that the teacher had asked her again if she did it by herself and Dd said yes and the teacher then asked if she was sure she did. Dd is now very anxious, I said i’d send in a note saying I helped you with it as she wasn’t feeling well and was a bit overwhelmed. She doesn’t want me to though as thinks the teacher will be cross with her. Any thoughts on this? Shall I send the teacher a quick email?

Original poster

Snoopyschristmasclassic · 17/12/2025 22:47

Elishiva · 17/12/2025 22:20

7 year olds don’t need to catch up on work after a couple of days off sick, especially this close to the end of a long term.
Just send a quick email, teacher is being passive aggressive, surprised she’s got time to bother with this, but she’s upsetting your daughter.

Passive aggressive how? What is she trying to do?

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WhistPie · 17/12/2025 22:48

Tell the teacher that your child did the proper work whilst you did the irrelevant colouring in

AutumnAllTheWay · 17/12/2025 22:55

This is crazy.

And I say that as a former teacher.

She's bat shit, pursuing your poor 7 year old as to whether you helped with a bit of colouring in.

Crazy times.

stichguru · 17/12/2025 22:55

The other kids did this work in school by the sound of it, so the teacher knows whether they got the mark they did without help, or whether they got it with help. This will be a good indication of whether she needs to cover that topic again if they don't really know it or not because they really know it. With your daughter she doesn't know and is trying to work out what she knows and doesn't know.

Original poster

Snoopyschristmasclassic · 17/12/2025 23:01

AutumnAllTheWay · 17/12/2025 22:55

This is crazy.

And I say that as a former teacher.

She's bat shit, pursuing your poor 7 year old as to whether you helped with a bit of colouring in.

Crazy times.

Right? I feel uneasy about it

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Calliopespa · 17/12/2025 23:05

Snoopyschristmasclassic · 17/12/2025 22:47

Passive aggressive how? What is she trying to do?

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I think she knows you did it op, and now is trying to catch your dd out for lying.

DD is in a tricky spot, because she either has to keep lying or say that she lied; probably the latter is best.

I do think it is naughty and petty of the teacher though. I might feel differently if it were maths or similar and she wanted to to know what dd had genuinely caught up with. I think it's probably been pretty obvious you thought the colouring wasn't worth DD getting in a flip over so you you just did it yourself. The teacher is getting a bit of a power trip over flushing that out. (I guess, in fairness, she doesn't want her authority undermined). But really it's not such a big deal. I do sometimes find some teachers can be very used to intimidating children and are a little inclined to try to use similar techniques where parents are concerned!

Calliopespa · 17/12/2025 23:06

stichguru · 17/12/2025 22:55

The other kids did this work in school by the sound of it, so the teacher knows whether they got the mark they did without help, or whether they got it with help. This will be a good indication of whether she needs to cover that topic again if they don't really know it or not because they really know it. With your daughter she doesn't know and is trying to work out what she knows and doesn't know.

But it's only colouring she is asking about?

Original poster

Snoopyschristmasclassic · 17/12/2025 23:15

Calliopespa · 17/12/2025 23:05

I think she knows you did it op, and now is trying to catch your dd out for lying.

DD is in a tricky spot, because she either has to keep lying or say that she lied; probably the latter is best.

I do think it is naughty and petty of the teacher though. I might feel differently if it were maths or similar and she wanted to to know what dd had genuinely caught up with. I think it's probably been pretty obvious you thought the colouring wasn't worth DD getting in a flip over so you you just did it yourself. The teacher is getting a bit of a power trip over flushing that out. (I guess, in fairness, she doesn't want her authority undermined). But really it's not such a big deal. I do sometimes find some teachers can be very used to intimidating children and are a little inclined to try to use similar techniques where parents are concerned!

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Yes…there’s just something about it I find a bit odd

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Original poster

Snoopyschristmasclassic · 17/12/2025 23:20

Snoopyschristmasclassic · 17/12/2025 23:15

Yes…there’s just something about it I find a bit odd

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I sent her a quick email just basically saying I hope she is well, that I just wanted to send a quick note about Dds homework at the weekend. I said she still wasn’t feeling 100% after being ill so I helped her with one colouring sheet she couldn’t finish on her own and that she was a bit worried about not completing it all by herself but that she’s ok now and happy to be back at school and I thanked her for her understanding.

Does that sound ok?

I just don’t want any repercussions on my Dd, I mean surely this is not that big of a deal?

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Original poster

Snoopyschristmasclassic · 17/12/2025 23:21

Think I just replied to myself by accident 🤣

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Calliopespa · 17/12/2025 23:22

Snoopyschristmasclassic · 17/12/2025 23:15

Yes…there’s just something about it I find a bit odd

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If you feel it isn't blowing over, I'd be inclined to make the approach directly to her to air the whole issue.

I'd just tell the truth - that DD was getting anxious about it, and, as she still wasn't well health-wise, you didn't want her getting overtired completing the colouring, so focused her on the more useful tasks.

I'd then say DD was probably scared Mummy would be in trouble if she said you did it (since it was your idea and you did it) - which is probably what DD is feeling and why I think it is pretty mean and small of the teacher to press the issue.

Calliopespa · 17/12/2025 23:24

Snoopyschristmasclassic · 17/12/2025 23:20

I sent her a quick email just basically saying I hope she is well, that I just wanted to send a quick note about Dds homework at the weekend. I said she still wasn’t feeling 100% after being ill so I helped her with one colouring sheet she couldn’t finish on her own and that she was a bit worried about not completing it all by herself but that she’s ok now and happy to be back at school and I thanked her for her understanding.

Does that sound ok?

I just don’t want any repercussions on my Dd, I mean surely this is not that big of a deal?

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We cross posted. Yes, I think its good you hit it head-on. I find it a bit creepy when teachers slide round grilling children about things instead of just fronting it with the parents.

Original poster

Snoopyschristmasclassic · 17/12/2025 23:33

Calliopespa · 17/12/2025 23:24

We cross posted. Yes, I think its good you hit it head-on. I find it a bit creepy when teachers slide round grilling children about things instead of just fronting it with the parents.

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Exactly! She’s just so little too

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Elishiva · 17/12/2025 23:43

She’s being passive aggressive trying to get your daughter to admit she fibbed about doing it herself, when it doesn’t matter.
The first question asked was wrong, I’m assuming your colouring skills are a lot better than a 7 year old so it would be obvious dd didn’t do it, teacher has seen it as a cheat/ attack when any normal person would have asked did your family help you with this? In a positive way,
which would have elicited a positive response from your daughter.
send the email and next time if your daughter is sick again, don’t do any of the extra work just email saying rest and family time are more important which they obviously are.
If she’s got a problem she can come to you instead if harrassing a small child.
Seems like you can’t win anyway. Don’t help your kids with homework it’s neglect, do help and it’s cheating.

Elishiva · 17/12/2025 23:49

Sorry cross posted and saw that you did email, what you sent sounds fine and makes her know you’ve got her card marked without being ott.
hopefully that’s the end of it and your family and teacher can all have a nice break.

Original poster

Snoopyschristmasclassic · 18/12/2025 00:00

Elishiva · 17/12/2025 23:49

Sorry cross posted and saw that you did email, what you sent sounds fine and makes her know you’ve got her card marked without being ott.
hopefully that’s the end of it and your family and teacher can all have a nice break.

She seems a bit odd, you don’t think she’ll take it out on Dd?
Why would she see me helping as being an attack though?

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Elishiva · 18/12/2025 00:22

Some people are just on the defensive all the time, usually if they are unhappy, feel stunted or something else.
teachers are not saints, they are as infallible as the rest of us, some of them are bullies, some are just not very good at their job.
I come into limited contact with primary school classes, teachers and support staff through my work and some of the interactions I’ve seen are not great, others are great, most are nothing to write home about.
I would forget it about for now any just keep an eye out.
Term ends on Friday for mine, cannot bloody wait to have the pressure off and for them to decompress for abit.

InterestedDad37 · 18/12/2025 00:36

Maybe your colouring wasn't up to scratch 😉😀

slashlover · 18/12/2025 01:02

Dd was worried she would get into trouble at school so I helped her by colouring the sheet for her.

Did you help her with it or did you do it for her?

DeftGoldHedgehog · 18/12/2025 02:19

Waterbaby41 · 17/12/2025 21:18

It's probably very obviously not all her work.

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Primary school homework is often homework for parents though as they need some kind of support to complete the task. DD1 was extremely academic at school and went to superselective grammar but getting her to do homework at primary school.was painful and she used to get very upset about it. Whereas DD2 did her homework like a lamb at primary school but got totally overwhelmed by srcondary school from the start and ended up doing online school.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 18/12/2025 02:22

It really annoys me how teachers go on this way putting pressure on such young children. Then in the next breath they wonder why kids are too anxious to attend school.

RailwayCutting · 18/12/2025 03:14

Snoopyschristmasclassic · 17/12/2025 21:15

Does it seem odd that the teacher questioned her twice, one day after the other?

Yes, but it's possible she forgot she'd already asked.

Rosealea · 18/12/2025 03:42

The issue is repeated lying and dishonesty, not colouring in.

mathanxiety · 18/12/2025 03:48

I was once given the third degree by a teacher on a Friday afternoon and ended up admitting to help I categorically was not given just to make the questioning stop. My mum buttonholed the teacher on Monday morning and tore rashers off her.

Send a note to the teacher saying if she has any questions about the homework to please address them to you and to stop bothering your anxious ND child.

Whether you helped or didn't, this teacher needs to drop the matter. She clearly thinks she has a bone to pick, and all her efforts so far smack of harassment of a person well below her in the school pecking order whom she has backed into a corner.

DarkForces · 18/12/2025 04:15

I've done exactly the same and dd was in secondary. She did the majority and I did a bit of colouring in on a picture she had to draw. It wasn't art homework just a thought map and they had to fill a page with tiny drawings. She knows how to colour in but just got overwhelmed with the amount needed. I'd be concerned about the teacher's attitude in your case. It's a bit of colouring in, you're not doing anything that is going to impact her learning. I'd follow up with a quick chat that dd panicked about you helping and is a bit intimidated by her so could she please let you deal with the mild lie but also question why she is so concerned you helped an overwhelmed recovering 7 year old.

Based on the competition entries to art competitions in dd's primary a lot of parents do a lot more than help with the colouring in. Of course there may just have been a lot of young geniuses in dd's primary... 🤔