Helped Dd with homework, teacher questioning her

[Snoopyschristmasclassic]

Just wanted others perspective on this as feeling a bit uncomfortable

Dd, who is 7, was off ill recently for a few days with a virus. When she returned, the teacher gave her some work she had missed to catch up on, dd had this plus nightly homework.
At the weekend, she was trying to complete the rest of it for school, is still not 100% but tried really hard and then started to get frustrated and upset and wasn’t able to do more. Worth noting that Dd is v bright, but is Nd and sometimes easily overwhelmed.
Dd was worried she would get into trouble at school so I helped her by colouring the sheet for her.

Dd came home on the first day she handed in her homework folder with all the sheets in and said the teacher asked her if she had done this sheet herself, Dd said yes. I said to her she should have said I helped her with it, it’s ok. I thought that was that and forgot about it.
Today Dd came home and said that the teacher had asked her again if she did it by herself and Dd said yes and the teacher then asked if she was sure she did.

Dd is now very anxious, I said i’d send in a note saying I helped you with it as she wasn’t feeling well and was a bit overwhelmed. She doesn’t want me to though as thinks the teacher will be cross with her.

Any thoughts on this? Shall I send the teacher a quick email?

I'm autistic and I didn't know what that phrase meant until someone explained it to me. OP may have been a bit short sighted about the potential consequences about doing bits of her kid's homework and encouraging her daughter to tell a white lie to the teacher, but not knowing that phrase is no reason to mock her. Her first language may not be English. She may be ND herself, as many of us are who have ND kids, and we only cotton on when the kids are diagnosed.

It came across as mocking within the context and tone of your post.

I rather suspect OP did a bit more than colouring too. But faced with an overwhelmed, anxious ND kiddo, I see why some parents do ride to the rescue. Hopefully, OP has learned from this that it causes more issues than it fixes.

You sound incredibly boring, and rude.

Your DD lied to the teacher , twice. I'm more concerned that you're not bothered by that

The teacher is being a bit much. Loads of children get help with their homework. If the teacher wants to assess children's progress they need to use class work especially for the older ones who use so much AI. Children are totally capable of getting it to write things fo to them in any style they want, sprinkling in an appropriate amount of spelling and punctuation errors.

She doesn't want to get in trouble. She is stuck between an overbearing teacher and protecting her mum.

Presumably this work is going in her school books hence the teacher checking it really is her 'colouring'. If it is a different standard to what she usually produces then it's no wonder the teacher is double checking - if it is much better than what else is in her book the teacher might be asked to explain why the work that day was so different to everything else in the book and whether it is the correct child's. Maybe the teacher needs to just make a note on the page to say work completed at home due to absence and was supported by the parent.

This is why my children's school do not send work home when children have been off ill as they don't know who has really done the work and are unable to know what the child's true level of understanding is.

DD lied twice, that’s the issue.

The teacher is scary to the child. I'm sure she's fine, but the child finds her scary, her opinion is valid. Were you never scared of a teacher? I remember being so very clearly.

I would say nothing, the child is already very worried about being in trouble, you need to have her back this time even if it was a fib. You really started it by helping her so she didn't get into trouble for not finishing it, she's clearly very anxious particularly about this teacher, don't make it any worse.

I wouldn’t have my child catch up on colouring. Complete waste of time!

Next time I’d recommend that you write a letter to explain why the homework isn’t finished rather than doing the homework so your DD isn’t in this situation. I think you should own up & explain that your DD lied as she was worried about her & you getting into trouble as the teacher clearly knows. It all seems OTT from the teacher.

Don’t do your kids homework. If she can’t do it, write the teacher a quick note explaining why.

How do you know the teacher isn't scary?

OP you keep referring to this 'colouring sheet' but I am wondering, was it one of those colour by numbers maths worksheets schools often dish out at Christmas where each square contains a sum and the kids have to do the sum to know what colour to use for the square?
Because I find it hard to believe the teacher sent a basic colouring in sheet home insistent a child needed to catch it up at home.

Was it actually a sheet of little maths practise sums where the colouring in was just an attempt to make maths a bit more fun?

I am a teacher and had a colleague who definitely were scary, to everyone. She terrified the children and would bite other staff members' heads off if she didn't like them. She was actually psychotic and orchestrated ways to make other peoples' lives miserable in the most insidious ways, and yet knew how to put on an act for the parents and SMT. Scary in every aspect of the concept. Cold, uncaring, full of venom and yet also very cunning and serpentine in nature.

I'm also very surprised school sent work home for a child to 'catch up' after being ill... At our school this would only happen if the family had chosen to take their child out on a term time holiday, not if a child had missed a few days sick.

Is the teacher aware your child is ND?

It sounds like you're a bit intimidated by the teacher as well, OP. I'd just take back a bit of control. I don't mean turn into a nightmare parent, I just mean be confident in decisions you make about DD's health when she's with you. She's not well enough to finish the homework? Send a note in or ask for a call with the teacher and explain that.

When you help your DD do her homework because she's not well enough yet to finish it herself, you're reinforcing the idea that the teacher is too scary to talk to - like so scary that even an adult can't talk to her. She might not be a particularly friendly teacher (and I think that's very sad for seven year olds who are only just transitioning from play into formal education) but she is not scary because she has no power over you.

Okay, so in terms of lying, I said to Dd that she should tell the truth and say I helped her by finishing off the colouring. She said she was too scared in case the teacher shouted at her.
The children were given holiday homework in the last holidays, around two pages per day. Dd ended up getting overwhelmed, I sent a note in that time saying Dd couldn’t manage the final one as she got upset. Dd told me when she gave the note, the teacher seemed cross with her and said to her it was a bit to do every day, hence why she didn’t want me to send a note again
It’s just too much pressure at such a young age!