Everything the OP has said about her husbands behaviour whenever there's an event, reminds me so much of my dear departed Dad, that I am totally on her side. I loved my Dad, but he seemed to actually enjoy spoiling every event ever planned, whether it be a summer holiday, a special birthday party, or Christmas. I did love him, but to my poor Mum he was a bully. He was raised as the only son in a family of 4 girls, (his Dad died in the war), and had been spoiled by his Mum, hence he was so used to getting his own way, that rather than doing it by discussion and communication, he would do it by bullying, shouting, and if all else failed, violence, followed by days of sulking. The weekends we lived through the 'silent treatment' were miserable, and we kids hated them, but my Mum was from a generation who were raised to be stay at home Mums, and so she had no money of her own, and no escape route.
Times have changed OP, you don't have to put up with this, and your DS shouldn't have to witness it either. It doesn't sound like your husband makes you happy, and as you only have one life, you owe it to yourself to make it as happy as it can be. You also owe it to your child to provide him with a safe, secure and happy childhood. So take the opportunity the next time you are alone, and really think about what you want out of life. If you want to stay put and be bullied and controlled for ever more, then fine, that's your choice, but what about your child, does he have a choice? On the other hand, if you decide that this is not the life you want, then start the New Year by ending this marriage, and working to make a happy life for you and your child.