Sister in law asking we don’t do Christmas meal as dinner

[Cartaz]

DH’s family have always had a fry up/homemade pastries for breakfast. Proper posh, homemade canapés for lunch with cocktails. Think prawn and lobster vol au vents, mini Brie and cranberry puffs, arancini etc - so properly substantial. And then the Christmas meal as dinner.

They are amazing cooks so it’s indulgent. But the thing I like about this is you are eating when you are hungry. My family did the more typical eat a bit later at around 2pm. But I always found after picky bits/breakfast just general grazing eating a full roast was too much. And you obviously want all the nice extra bits.

This new way I feel like the time pressure is off and everyone gets stuck in more. Just more relaxed (for us).

I’ve adopted what dh’s family do. But SIL who is staying with us this year as we are hosting has asked that we bring to forward as it more traditional.

I just don’t get doing something one way cause everyone else is doing it that way.

To me it’s just more relaxed and who doesn’t love a candlelight dinner. I can’t believe the cheek of SIL

She can dictate the timings when she hosts.

This

Id message her this. With a passive aggressive laughing face.

"that doesnt work for us"

No explaining, no apology

You're hosting, its your timeline.

😂😂😂 she’s cheeky.

no.

You can't believe her cheek?! Presumably there is more to your story because on the face of it, someone asking politely is not even remotely cheeky

Fair enough to ask, fair enough to say no.

Very cheeky.
Your house, your schedule.
Perhaps she needs to stay at home.
Some people lack any social awareness.
Hosts dictate the schedule.
The end.

We do similar without the morning fry up.

Just say it's all planned and you can't change it now. And that there will be plenty to nibble if she gets peckish, try to make it light hearted but written in stone!

No can do

I can’t imagine eating a roast dinner at lunchtime.
Ours is always at 5 or 6pm, brunch about midday.

But everyone does it their own way, fair enough.
SIL needs t go along with your plan, sounds nice!

Your SIL asked, you decline. You make your SIL seem like an ogre, not someone asking for a change you don't wish to do with easily explainable reasons.

Why is it cheeky to ask? Unless OP is about to change her tune and now say it was actually a demand and she screamed it then just seeing if people were amenable to a change isn't rude at all.

She is perfectly entitled to ask, you are perfectly entitled to say no.

Ours is always about 5/6pm!

If someone was hosting and going to that effort and cooking for me, I wouldn’t dream of suggesting they change the time just for me, very entitled. Most adults are able to plan around when they will be eating and manage their appetite that way, so if she’s hungry earlier she can have something light (or do what the rest of us do and eat a ton of chocolates).

Your house, your timings your rules.... simples

Bloody rude sil!!

I'd just be grateful someone else is cooking for me

what time are you proposing for dinner ? I’m a bit lost.

I don’t like having Christmas dinner in the evening. Firstly because the cook is then spending most of the day cooking and I like to relax once it is done for the day. Secondly, I can’t digest a large meal in the evening, it gives me indigestion. I’m with your SiL.

You host, so you get to decide.

But, how do you eat all that food? 😂

I’d not be hungry for lunch after that huge breakfast and I’d definitely not be able to eat lunch and dinner. I’m now thinking we don’t have big appetites in this house. 🤔

Do you really not understand why?!?! She is staying in someone else’s house who are also doing all the cooking providing all the food etc and she’s not providing or doing anything yet wants them to change their entire Xmas and when they will be cooking to suit her!!

No that does not work for you.

Cheeky of her to ask.

Traditional for her nabe not for everyone. Always had Christmas dinner as dinner. Never had it as lunch as we went to church in the morning.

Me too. Does sil know the approx timings of the food? Do you know why she wants to
them.