Oh yes, I have one like this.
What's funny looking back is that DS1 was challenging from the ages of maybe 3-8 - and he genuinely was, I think it was the ADHD, I didn't even realise how unusually difficult he was until he was much older. And I can also see that I really didn't help because I was a bit chaotic myself so my lack of consistency and calmness just added fuel to the fire. But I do honestly think he would have been tricky anyway. I did so much talking about emotions with him that he has ended up very emotionally intelligent, which is nice?
Then came DS2 and at first I was astonished because until he was about 4, he seemed much easier than DS1. I think because I had literally read about 40 parenting books (I counted them once) and tried everything with DS1 plus I was a lot more settled emotionally (being 30 rather than 20) with DS2 he got off to a much smoother start because I already knew all the "right ways" to handle challenging behaviour. But once his difficulties really kicked in he is a totally different beast. Sometimes he literally acts as though he is on a totally different planet and not even present on Earth. I very much relate to the example of trying to have a conversation about a car seat and he is wondering what kind of birthday cake he will get. He is now diagnosed ADHD with some suspicion of autism - I have thought he was autistic since he was 2 but he doesn't present as typically autistic either plus he wouldn't cooperate with the assessment so, no diagnosis as yet.
DS3 is like neither of them and does things like actually stay on the step 
and listens if you say stop doing that or XYZ will happen. We have never (intentionally) made him afraid but just the normal stuff like mild disapproval has an effect on him and he experiences guilt/empathy etc and has done from much younger than the other two. He also can listen to a perspective and take it on board, obviously it doesn't always override childish impulses but in general he is a dream - and yet he seems one of the more active/stubborn children at nursery (I don't know what I would do with an actually compliant child!)
I think some people are misinterpreting the OP as suggesting that anger/threats are a good way to parent or that people routinely use this kind of thing as a main parenting method and I don't think that is what she is saying. The thing is that anger, or at least "sternness", consequences, disapproval ARE part of normal parenting, they should not be a large proportion, in fact they should be minimal, but they absolutely are a normal part of the way adults communicate with children, you need a way to communicate no, actually, that's enough now - they do have a place, and it is quite baffling when a child simply does not respond.
For example - one of the worst things DS2 ever did was that he went through a bit of an obsession with the idea of weeing outside in the play area. He was six, not at school because we are abroad but an educational setting. He absolutely knew it was not allowed and I also kept explaining in all kinds of ways but one day he did it anyway and got found out by the teachers and he was actually sitting out on the bench for it when I went to pick him up. I was SO embarrassed and furious but I didn't want to shout because I knew that wouldn't help. But when I went to retrieve him from the bench and explained in a very serious tone (again) why he was in trouble he just didn't register this at all. He was reacting as though it was a totally normal pick up and nothing had happened. He then wanted to go and collect some stones for some game and I said no, and he couldn't understand why I wouldn't let him do it and got quite agitated about it. He then wanted to get ice cream on the way home and again, couldn't understand why I said no or what his behaviour had to do with it. I found it really difficult because most children would understand, if they had got into trouble, that their parent would be unhappy about it and that they shouldn't push their luck by asking for fun things, but he just does not make that link or differentiate. I did come home on that day and despair a bit because I felt like how can I ever teach him social norms or what is right when he won't even have a discussion about it. But that said he has never done that again.
I think it has given me a totally different perspective TBH. A lot of the everyday disapproval/consequences/stern tone I actually find fairly unnecessary now (because they just tend to escalate DS2 so we rarely use them) and I think you'd be surprised if you try to track how often this is used to note how common it is. I think people tend to fall back on this more often than they would realise and TBF for the vast majority of kids, it doesn't have such a negative effect that it's not worth it. If you have a generally loving/supportive relationship then it's going to be a drop in the ocean and it won't make a dent in it, and most children also pick up enough from general social learning that they are generally working out the acceptable ways to behave etc so they don't attract disapproval or sternness from adults constantly anyway, unless they are going through a tricky phase.
But, I also think that we tend to attribute more power to things like consequences and fear of angering a parent than they actually have. I don't think that is really where learning happens, I think it's more in the observation and development of skills. Because we have to teach all of that stuff to DS2 more explicitly because he doesn't pick it up on his own it makes it more visible, but I think that's the majority of how all children learn. It's just that we remember the times that we tell them off or the big incident where you were livid or whatever and think about that as being the learning moment, but I don't know that it is. Maybe it makes an impression, I think we all have childhood memories of something like that, but if you have a child who hasn't managed to get there with whatever skill they were lacking that led them to behave like that in the first place then it doesn't matter how angry you get they will still not have the skill.