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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would it bother you if one person wasn’t drinking at Christmas?

1000 replies

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 09:28

Dh and I do like to have a few drinks at Christmas and enjoy ourselves.
We are having Christmas at home just family and we all intend to have a good amount of drink, play a few silly party games, music and just let our hair down because it’s Christmas but there is one person who’ll be coming who has requested alcohol free beer as he’s not drinking.
He does drink, he’s just decided he won’t on this occasion.
I feel a bit miffed to be honest that we are all going to be drinking and one sober person will be sitting there watching.
I know IABU but I really wish they would not come if they are just going to sit there and remember everything, I don’t think it helps that they will be here all day and all night.

OP posts:
LiftAndLetLift · 15/12/2025 09:28

You're being ridiculous.

HTH.

YellowCherry · 15/12/2025 09:29

I honestly don't understand why it would bother you.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 15/12/2025 09:29

YABVVU!

HeddaGarbled · 15/12/2025 09:30

Utterly unreasonable. People could be not drinking for any number of reasons and you have absolutely no right to have any opinion about it at all.

Beamur · 15/12/2025 09:30

So unreasonable for you to be weird about this!

ThatOpenTraybake · 15/12/2025 09:30

Sorry to say that you and your DH have drink problems.

That doesn't mean you're alcoholics but the only people that are ever bothered by people not drinking around them, are people who have drink problems.

Edited for spelling

currentlybrunette · 15/12/2025 09:30

Is your behaviour so bad that you’re worried about a sober person sitting there and remembering?

GoldMerchant · 15/12/2025 09:30

What on earth happens at your family Xmas that means you're worried people will remember it?

HewasH2O · 15/12/2025 09:30

You're obviously full of the wrong type of Christmas spirit. How sad.

Thundertoast · 15/12/2025 09:30

Reverse!

DisappointedD · 15/12/2025 09:31

Wow, yes of course you are being unreasonable!
Quite worrying and random that it bothers you so much.

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 09:31

HeddaGarbled · 15/12/2025 09:30

Utterly unreasonable. People could be not drinking for any number of reasons and you have absolutely no right to have any opinion about it at all.

I can have the opinion that I’d rather not have someone in my home sitting there as a spectator.
I’m entitled to feel uncomfortable about their presence in those circumstances.

OP posts:
Seeline · 15/12/2025 09:32

Thank goodness there is going to be one person sober enough to sort out any emergencies that might arise from the drunken chaos that you seem to be planning!
You are being ridiculous. I guess you just don't like this poor individual.

SheinIsShite · 15/12/2025 09:32

That one person would probably be me. I'm not tee-total, but will maybe have one glass and that's it.

seriouslynonames · 15/12/2025 09:32

You are being ridiculous, I agree with pp. I don't drink any longer, it doesn't seem to agree with me. Everyone seems to forget and keeps offering me drinks, including my own parents. It's 5 years now. But I just politely decline. No one is at all bothered by it, no one doesn't want me there if I'm not drinking, I'm not bothered by being the only one not drinking. So yes you are being weird about this. If it doesn't bother him it shouldn't bother you. He might have very good reasons not to drink. That shouldn't mean he should be excluded from social events!

44PumpLane · 15/12/2025 09:32

I'm not tee total but quite often I won't drink as I just don't fancy it or I know I have a heavy day then next day and will already be tired from a late night so don't want to add alcohol to the mix.

I truly think you have an issue if you're concerned that someone isn't drinking.

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 09:33

ThatOpenTraybake · 15/12/2025 09:30

Sorry to say that you and your DH have drink problems.

That doesn't mean you're alcoholics but the only people that are ever bothered by people not drinking around them, are people who have drink problems.

Edited for spelling

Edited

Dh and I only drink at parties or on holidays so no drink problem at all.

OP posts:
BMW6 · 15/12/2025 09:33

Then tell them they're not invited unless they're a total pisshead like you are? 🙄

Clefable · 15/12/2025 09:33

YABVU and honestly it does sound like you both have a bit of a disordered/unhealthy relationship with alcohol, if it’s such a focal point that a guest who isn’t drinking is apparently just a ‘spectator’.

27TimesAway · 15/12/2025 09:33

You are being ridiculous.

For a start you should never pressure any person (even if only by disapproving expectations) to drink alcohol. You have no idea if he might be struggling with a dependency. Why does it matter to you anyway what another person chooses to put in their own body?

MyQuirkyFinch · 15/12/2025 09:33

I always have non alcoholic options in my house - beers, seedlip etc The no and low category is so extensive now that I think there’s something for everyone.
Beyond a glass of champagne I probably won’t have a drink on Christmas Day.
In my house I make sure everyone has options that suit them

27TimesAway · 15/12/2025 09:34

Clefable · 15/12/2025 09:33

YABVU and honestly it does sound like you both have a bit of a disordered/unhealthy relationship with alcohol, if it’s such a focal point that a guest who isn’t drinking is apparently just a ‘spectator’.

Oh yes- and this too.

Seeline · 15/12/2025 09:34

wakinginthenight · 15/12/2025 09:33

Dh and I only drink at parties or on holidays so no drink problem at all.

If you drink so much that you find your behaviour so embarrassing that you don't want anyone to remember what you did, then you have a problem.

Couldyounot · 15/12/2025 09:34

Perfectly acceptable not to drink. Nobody's business at all

No idea why it would need to be announced though, plus zero-alc beers are still, and without any exception I have been able to find, utterly rank. Just bring some cans of cola or something.

Maddy70 · 15/12/2025 09:35

What a strange post? Some of my friends don't drink , we still go to the pub and socialise. Nothing is different , they aren't judging anyone just making a lifestyle choice for them which has absolutely nothing to do with me.

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