To make DD wear a dress?

[EatYourDamnPie]

She has a church Christmas carol service tonight. It’s a knitted , casual dress that she picked and worn many times before. Apparently all her friends will be wearing jeans/leggings and band/casual tshirts. She doesn’t want to wear the dress because all her friends will be in jeans. In my eyes , it’s irrelevant what everyone does and it’s a sign of respect to the church, the event and other people going. If she had anything else (other than her uniform)even remotely smart casual it would be fine , but she doesn’t(I’ll work on that situation in the new year). The dress fits her well and she looks great in it, but like I said, it’s not even that she hates her dress it’s about what everyone else will wear.
She’s not kicking off, but she’s not happy about it either.

AIBU to tell her she has to wear the dress?

What do you think Jesus would say? I’m not religious but from the New Testament he seemed like an inclusive bloke and would probably be happy she’s at church whatever the t shirt.

Don't be so daft, what a silly analogy.

I still have nightmare about being forced into a dress for church.

It's all over now but what is relevant is what the other girls are wearing. They might nearly all be wearing jeans/trousers and daughter wouldn't have wanted to be in the minority.

There's nothing wrong with jeans/trousers and a T-shirt, people can look really nice in them, and well turned out.

I hope all went well.

Her choice is perfect. Clothes are nothing to do with faith. A carol service and job interview shouldn't be compared.

Like I said, she wouldn’t have stood out in the dress either. Quite a few girls were in dresses/skirts.

I admit I might have some antiquated views about a few things, but I’m learning and willing to change /reconsider. There isn’t a parent out there that gets everything right , all of the time.

Half the time she asks ME what she should wear and I honestly don’t particularly care as long as it’s appropriate for the weather.

I can’t believe this thread is still going!

I was being slightly flippant (but also slightly not!). I think we approach things from a slightly different angle in that I think it’s important to take risks in a safe environment - even to fail in a safe environment. My DH can be more like you in this respect - in his case he sees the kids more as an extension of himself than I do. As I’ve let the kids make these judgements from really quite an early age (I have an excellent picture of DD2 in a furry hat and two clashing patterns of coat and skirt at the age of 2!), they are good at choosing the right outfit for most things. And if they are more casual than I’d choose, I choose to let them make that choice. It’s about encouraging judgement, I think.

Yabu. At 14 she should be allowed to choose what she wears, and clothes are an important part of identity for teenagers. 'Out of respect for the church?' What about out of respect for her as a young woman?? I would hope the church would be welcoming of young people regardless of their attire - its not like shes suggesting rocking up in hotpants and a crop top!