to be appalled by some women’s behaviour?

[GrumpyOldWoman2]

DH has just come back from a work do at his new job (2 months in) and told me that his female colleague was drunkenly trying to get him alone, trying to hug him and offering to buy him drinks all night. We had a baby 5 weeks ago and she knows this!! He’s extremely loyal and kind (struggles to stand up for himself which bugs me sometimes but…) and kept trying to reject her advances to no avail, he ended up leaving early as she made him so uncomfortable. He came home sober.

Just disappointed for him as it was meant to be a nice break from the newborn trenches! Why are people like this? Trying to get on a married man is bad enough but doing it when you know they’ve JUST had a baby is abhorrent! He’s also dreading going back to work on Tuesday and seeing her. Grim behaviour.

But some women do buy men drinks...

Your take that the man has lied to cover up his own behaviour is why women get away with sexual assault and abuse. Because you blame the man and refuse to believe a woman could do that

You aren't helping the sisterhood

Do you understand what the term 'sex offender' means? Hint: its not offering drinks, trying to get someone alone or even trying to hug a colleague.
How about you stop using silly hyperbolic language for no other reason than the pleasure of calling a woman a criminal term which applies in over 90% of cases where its used correctly to men?

https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/P2064_05-Rape-and-sexual-assault_men-leaflet-PMS-312.pdf

Oh come on now

you think that any man has been fearful that a woman leeching over him is going to rape him?

Stop changing the narrative. You’ve dismissed this since the OP first posted. No one should be leeching over anyone.

The information from VS does not refer to rape of men by women. Women cannot rape men. The reference to rape will be male on male rape. There are references to sexual assault of men by women, which account for around 25% of cases. The majority, 75% are sexual assaults of men by men.
No one is suggesting that women can't sexually assault men. However your own link serves to demonstrate how much greater the risk is from men. To both women and men.
So I'm not sure it does much to argue that a man has as much to fear from a woman as either sex has from a man. Which was the point. Not that men aren't scared by rape or sexual assault, but that typically (and with good reason) men are not scared of women.

Well done

You're part of the problem

Sexual assault makes someone a sex offenders

Unwanted touching, forcing yourself on someone, refusing to take No for an answer are all parts of sexual assault

It's not hyperbolic to call a sex offender a sex offender

Men do not report sexual assaults because of the stigma that is perpetuated by some posters on this thread

Women also don't report frmale on female sexual abuse because of the idea that women can't commit sexual assault

If the definition of rape was updated to cover all unwanted penetrative and sex then it wouldn't be 100% male because rape can ONLY be commit by a man at the moment due to the definition requiring a penis...

I wonder how the coworker feels about their behaviour in the morning?

I rarely drink and never in public as I become a (platonic) hugger... Sober me would never hug another person but drunk me thinks the world needs a cuddle!😆

The OP clearly states the woman 'tried to hug' her husband, offered to buy him drinks and endeavoured to be alone with him. None of those things are remotely 'sexual assault'.
Are you seriously suggesting that every man who has ever persisted in trying to get a woman to accept a drink from him, asked her to go somewhere with him and launched in for a hug (not a sexual grope, a hug) should be on a register with convicted sexual assailants, rapists and pedophiles?

You are mistaking being part of a problem with a failure to prioritise it over another significantly more pressing one.

No

You're very clearly part of the problem

Well, being as the comment was actually just about women in general...

And a man doing the same absolutely would be called names

You're hedging. I'm asking you if you think a man who repeatedly offered to buy a woman a drink asked to be alone with her and tried to hug (not grope) her should be a convicted of a crime and placed on a register with rapists, sexual assailants and pedophiles? Do you think this?
And if you don't, why you are using the term 'female sex offender' in a thread about a woman who acted this way towards a man?

Given I've never made an unwanted sexual advance to a man in my life, perhaps you'd like to explain yourself? Clearly you are not adverse to gross exaggeration given the 'female sex offender' comment, but even so, I'd be interested in how you justify telling a random woman she is part of the problem of sexual harassment of men by women?

This is a thread about women acting like letches and yet you've said posters shouldn't be sharing their experiences of women being letches and committed sexual assaults

You've flat out said that female sex offenders aren't a problem and we shouldn't talk about them

You're encouraging the idea men can't be assualted/women can't assault

That's part of the problem.

Because we were on about women committing sexual assault in general not this woman in particular in that instance...

It’s why I never drink at work nights out. I’ve seen too many people make absolute arses of themselves. I’m a teacher, and have known people spend the entire summer holidays cringing and dreading going back in September after making passes.
OP, YANBU. I assume she knows he’s recently become a Dad so she’s totally out of order. It’s heartening that your DH reported back to you.

Of course some women buy men drinks. Of course some women abuse men, lie and cheat. And i am not blaming any man for anything. And i am neither trying to help nor hinder the sisterhood whatever the fuck that is. I am simply make an observation that women don't tend to keep trying to buy men drinks all night.....that doesn't mean this woman didn't it just means that it isn't generally a female behaviour.

Please quote the posts where I said "posters shouldn't be sharing their experiences of women being letches and committing sexual assaults" and where I've said "female sex offenders aren't a problem and we shouldn't talk about them" 'flat out' or otherwise.
In fact, no, dont worry, you cant, because I havent, so I'll not embarass you.
How about instead, you go back to the posts and read what I actually said again and then we can talk about that if you like.

So dismissive.

“Kept trying”

Was he trapped in a corner with her? Even really drunk people can generally take the hint of someone completely ignoring them.

If you aren't calling men scum and dare to try and acknowledge that woman can a problem then some posters will become pretty hostile

You must have surely noticed also the absolute delight that other posters take in a thread about a woman behaving badly, though? The glee with which they jump at the opportunity to say that women do this thing or that, dredging up their own anecdotes to portray other women in a poor light?

No need to pretend women are 'as bad' as men or that the experience is the same.

chiming in with their own tales of women behaving badly to create the false impression this is a widespread problem of similar scale to when the sexes are reversed.

Because I didn't want to basically quote every post you've made... here are just a few ones where you are dismissive of the fact women can be sexual predators, scorn women for bringing up their own stories of women being sexually abusive and are generally acting like we can't and shouldn't acknowledge women's bad behaviour

This is why you are part of the problem. Victims of female sexual assault are far less likely to speak up because there is such a stigma, because of attitudes like yours that it's not a problem, that women are less of a threat, that speaking up will be met in the way you have - telling posters who are speaking about sexual harassment that they are speaking with "glee" and "delighting" in sharing these experiences, that they are dragging women down for fun...

If people were empowered to speak up about female sexual assault the way MeToo encouraged women to speak up, and people were believed not scorned, then statistics would look very different