to be appalled by some women’s behaviour?

[GrumpyOldWoman2]

DH has just come back from a work do at his new job (2 months in) and told me that his female colleague was drunkenly trying to get him alone, trying to hug him and offering to buy him drinks all night. We had a baby 5 weeks ago and she knows this!! He’s extremely loyal and kind (struggles to stand up for himself which bugs me sometimes but…) and kept trying to reject her advances to no avail, he ended up leaving early as she made him so uncomfortable. He came home sober.

Just disappointed for him as it was meant to be a nice break from the newborn trenches! Why are people like this? Trying to get on a married man is bad enough but doing it when you know they’ve JUST had a baby is abhorrent! He’s also dreading going back to work on Tuesday and seeing her. Grim behaviour.

It isn’t acceptable OP.

There was a thread the other day though where the OPasked if she was being unreasonable to lie about the behaviour of her usually lovely colleague at the Christmas party who was flashing her bra and grabbing a male colleagues testicles. OP was adamant it wasn’t a big deal and unfortunately lots of PP’s seemed to agree.

Just seems to be lots of double standards as if it was a man doing that to a woman am sure it would have been viewed differently, although the views in that thread was that it wasn’t a man doing it to a woman so the argument was mute 🤷🏻‍♀️ www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5457380-to-refuse-to-be-a-witness-against-colleague?page=1

Think he needs to have a word with his manager so they can have a strong word with his female colleague, she probably made lots of others feel uncomfortable too

Lol, I love people who are never wrong even though they are.

Are you married?

Oh the beautiful irony 😆

But that poster isn’t wrong - you are.

Nobody is saying he had to predict the woman would come onto him. Why would she care that you had a baby recently?

Just in case you missed it:

There are nearly always shenanigans with people drinking.

You must have surely noticed also the absolute delight that other posters take in a thread about a woman behaving badly, though? The glee with which they jump at the opportunity to say that women do this thing or that, dredging up their own anecdotes to portray other women in a poor light? I think that more than balances out the 'double standards' people seem so concerned about.

Completely, so far her oh has been called a cry baby, , a pillock, needs to stand up for himself, be able to deal with unwanted attention....the list goes on. Despite the fact that the op has described him as being shy and very uncomfortable after coming home.

He also has been given out for sharing this with his wife. Yet on this site it's encouraged and rightly so for women to tell someone if they are feeling harassed or uncomfortable in situations like this. If this had been a man, he'd have been called a pest, creep, sleazy...

I’m not pretending anything.
Just observing.

Delight or no delight, that just shows how shitty people can be. The fact still stands the dh here derserves the same respect shown to him as does a female who is in that situation.

If people want to revel over a woman getting her way, its just pathetic but the reality is, it would be treated differently here if the dh was female

I agree that alcohol is not an excuse for bad behaviour and people should be held responsible for how they act when they drink.

At the same time, I think we also have to be realistic. Alcohol does lower inhibitions and it does increase the likelihood of people behaving badly, even if they shouldn't. Acknowledging that is not the same as excusing it or enabling it.

Ideally, yes, people who turn into dicks when drunk should be called out, face consequences and learn to manage themselves better. But in the real world, that does not always happen and the impact often lands on the people around them first. Saying there can be trouble where alcohol is involved is about recognising risk.

Holding both truths at once is not enabling. It is being honest about how people actually behave, not how they ought to.

Yes, which is a typical male pattern of behaviour, not female.

It's really not on for anyone to act this way at a work party & as people have mentioned if it were a male acting like this lady he'd probably be sacked. I do think a mixture of alcohol, loneliness & the time of year does not help people like this woman, I had a 'friend' who slept with various male's at her workplace Christmas parties over the years (they all had partners), she was the talk of the workplace but it never seemed to stop her. I'd be so embarrassed

Then if we're not pretending that men and women are the same, surely it comes as no surprise to observe that the response from society to their experiences of each other will be viewed differently?

Wrong for thinking the woman behaved inappropriate?

wrong for merely enquiring as to why the op was up at 2am with a refluxy baby, angry at what her husband had told her in the early hours of the morning, whilst he had fallen asleep leaving her with the baby?

Eh? A woman who wants to get into a man’s pants will be just as aware that alcohol lowers his inhibitions as a man would be if the roles were reversed.

Yes. Because men and women are different and their experience of sexually inappropriate behaviour from the opposite sex will be different. However employment law makes no difference and that's the important part. Men have every protection afforded to women. So there's no need for undue concern about them by comparison.
Some on MN will be happy to see a woman 'get her way' as you term it. Plenty of others are over the moon at the opportunity to show a woman in a bad light. So it all evens out.

Since when has groping and flashing been “typical” female behaviour?!

If the roles were reversed, you’d be the man who’d be saying “she was probably gagging for it anyway, and enjoyed the attention”…

Disgusting.

What I struggle to understand is why anyone (past their teens/very early 20s) hasn’t learned to recognise when they’ve had enough alcohol - enough to be a bit merry, but not enough so that they start throwing up or otherwise making complete fools of themselves.

The woman who came onto the OP’s DH exists in real life, so it follows that the same type of woman will be here on MN wanting to excuse her, and any other woman’s, bad behaviour…. rationalising it by making men out to be the “enemy” and the eternal bad guys, so they can excuse themselves the next time they do something shitty.

I’d bet some of the posts on here today come from women just like the one who came onto the OP’s DH. You know who you are.

What?!

Wrong for high jacking the thread with your entirely made up scenarios and projection!

You are getting cynical. He was sober and left the party.

No tracks to cover.

again, the beautiful irony!

You don’t know the meaning of irony do you?