to be appalled by some women’s behaviour?

[GrumpyOldWoman2]

DH has just come back from a work do at his new job (2 months in) and told me that his female colleague was drunkenly trying to get him alone, trying to hug him and offering to buy him drinks all night. We had a baby 5 weeks ago and she knows this!! He’s extremely loyal and kind (struggles to stand up for himself which bugs me sometimes but…) and kept trying to reject her advances to no avail, he ended up leaving early as she made him so uncomfortable. He came home sober.

Just disappointed for him as it was meant to be a nice break from the newborn trenches! Why are people like this? Trying to get on a married man is bad enough but doing it when you know they’ve JUST had a baby is abhorrent! He’s also dreading going back to work on Tuesday and seeing her. Grim behaviour.

Hardly. I took the trouble to read the link you dropped and understand it properly. Which is clearly more than you did if you were trying to use it to argue that men are frightened of women in the way women are of men.
If you want to dismiss the threat men pose to other men, and i'll say it again as you ignored it

-75% of sexual attacks on men are carried out by MEN -

because all you want to do is focus on the far lesser threat that women pose, then you are being highly irresponsible. Because all it does is divert attention from addressing the real issues.
At least I've bothered to find out what they are.

Which posters have become hostile?

Haven't read the full thread - sorry CBA - but @GrumpyOldWoman2 are you sure this is the truth?

Some men do love to exaggerate (to their wives) the attention they get from other women. Many men who come up with tales of women coming onto them are often embellishing the truth. A woman probably half smiled at him out of politeness when she was passing him in Tesco. But in his head he blows it up to say that she winked at him, brushed past and caressed his arm, and then came back to him 30 seconds later and handed him her phone number.... and walked off looking at him seductively, and licking her lips....

Men lie.

It's not breaking news.

.

You. You've been absolutely vile tbh with you're dismissive comments and insinuating people are only talking about experiences of SA with women for fun...

He’s definitely not the type to embellish. He tried to downplay it by saying things like “she might have just been trying to be kind” but IMO repeatedly offering drinks to a man who has said no many times and moved away from you doesn’t exactly scream kindness, more desperation.

Would you say the same if was a drunk man trying to hit on a woman to the point she felt she had to leave?

I haven't made any dismissive comments.
I have said that some people relish the opportunity to discuss bad behaviour by women. Which they clearly do. You as a prime example using inappropriate language like 'sex offender' in a discussion about behaviour that was not a sexual offence.

I have said nothing at all about poster's experiences of being sexually assaulted by women. I have not seen any posts from victims disclosing being SA by women on this thread much less responded to a victim in a negative way.

You think I'm being 'vile' because I don't believe women pose a significant threat to men, because I've pointed out that the real threat to both sexes is men, so my priority is addressing that. And that I've said men don't typically fear sexual assault from women. As a point of interest, when it comes to SA, women fear being assaulted. Men fear being accused of assault. Show me a shred of evidence that shows me I'm wrong in any of the above, and I'll acknowledge i may be misinformed.

Yep.

I have quoted a small selection of your dismissive comments

This thread is specifically about women's behaviour but you are acting like the thread had taken a turn for that and we should be talking about men's behaviour else we are ignoring that behavior. It's not the topic here, other than people drawing the parallel that men's behaviour like this wouldn't be tolerated and neither should a woman's

People sharing stories about sexual abuse and harassment shouldn't be then seeing someone say they are "relishing" or "revelling" in the stories nor telling them with "delight" and "glee". It's disgusting, frankly, to tell victims and family of victims that them sharing their stories is them getting some joy from it.

The behaviour shown is bordering on sexual assault, and indeed would be labelled as much should the perpetrator be male. And the comments you are talking about where I used the language of sex offenders were not specifically about this incident

Downplaying that women can, and are, a threat to men (and other women) is 100% part of the problem. You have no idea what damage being SAed by a woman could do to a man. It can harm his mental health, especially when women like you are so insistent that he wasn't under threat, it can make him feel vulnerable and scared, often it goes unreported because of that fear of not being believed or, perhaps worse, the fear that had been raised in this thread - the woman will claim he was actually SAing her and that this claim will be believed over his because of people like you and then his whole life will be ruined over a lie

There is evidence out there. It's hard to find because, again all the fear of not being believed or the actual not being believed. But I'm sure I could get an actual male victim of SA from a woman to come to your house and tell you his story and you'd still say "yes but men are bad" so there's no point tbh

You’re taking this too far tbh.

Also 1/4 of SA against men being women isn't an insignificant number...

Would you say this if it was a man ?

This thread is specifically asking why some women come on to men despite knowing that man is married with a baby. It is no more a thread about 'female sex offenders' than it is about male sex offenders.
The thread moved onto male behaviour when some one posted it would be 'different if it were a man'. I commented on why society sees the behaviour described in the thread as different based on which sex is the instigator. The reason being that women with good cause feel fear at persistent sexual advances from men in a way men don't from women.
There is no such thing as 'bordering on sexual assault'. It either is, or it is not. I swapped the sexes in the scenario and asked you if you felt the man should be on a register as a sex offended. You hedged. Because clearly the notion would be ridiculous. Yet you won't acknowledge its ridiculous when a woman is to blame.
I have at no point downplayed SA on men. Pointing out its overwhelmingly a male on male crime so your focus on women perpetrators ignores the real risk to men is very fair.
If there is evidence to change anything I've said, then it shouldn't be hard to find. However you seem intent instead on making this discussion a personal sleight on my character, with increasingly unevidenced accusations, and nothing is going to change your view that 'I am bad', so we're both wasting our time.

Just to add @BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind
When I said that some posters delight in the opportunity to discuss the poor behaviour of women, a comment I fully stand by, not one poster had disclosed sexual assault on themselves or a family member. Not one.
At that point the discussion was on topic, with comments focused on the circumstances of this thread and another where a woman had got drunk and flashed her bra. The latter by a colleague of the woman, not a victim.
Yet you have twisted this to accuse me of saying that victims enjoy relating stories of assault and that I wish to silence them, and called me vile for something I haven't said. Disgraceful behaviour on your behalf.

This.

Oh my god. Yes she was out of order. No it doesn’t merit this debate or in work escalation. Your husband is presumably adult enough to refuse a drink and say you’re making me uncomfortable or he could speak to another friend and move away. She’s likely being pissed up and just friendly and your husband has got carried away. She never propositioned him. Let’s be clear. This is not thought police. And Yes id say same if it was a male work colleague. There’s a level of friendliness among the workplace. Well I’ve always found and it feels like it’s either been overstepped or your husband ‘ s overthinking.

Of course some men lie, but women lie just as much…

However, I bet you wouldn’t write this if a woman was complaining about being sexually harassed at a party. I bet you’d be fuming if anyone did!

MN double standards strikes again…

I agree. The woman was inappropriate, but from how the OP describes this, it seems excessive to report to HR. I think there are some people who just love the opportunity to get others into trouble if they can!

Yup. As a qualified employment law expert with over 20 years experience, including representing business and employees at tribunal.... echo this. Zero tolerance regardless of gender. Unwanted behaviour is just that and needs to be addressed.

Understand why youve said that, so maybe a conversation around what behaviour is acceptable and an apology. I agree that there's a lot of individuals who like to use HR as a passive aggressive tool to get others in to trouble.

This has got to be the finest example of double standards on MN!

He’s lying because he is a man……

As you say it wouldn’t be said to a woman!

I think the behaviour is poor, but let’s not make this a misogynistic ‘desperate women’ thing, people are actually quite shitty, men and women alike.
DH and I have both had an encounter recently where a member of the opposite sex was inappropriate. We came home and told the other. Had a good laugh about it and thought it reflected poorly on that person.
if he is upset, tell him to go to HR, if not, brush it off and move on

Some women can behave as badly as some men. Anyone that thinks otherwise is a bit naive 🤷‍♀️

Yes absolutely they can be awful. A fine example is the toxic attention seeking one at DHs work who he warned me was "just a bit much" yet it all came out she was all over him in dms sending photos of her boob's. Unfortunately i found more evidence of them both involved but thats another story. But shes all over other married men on work socials too. Absolutely no morals whatsoever. And shes married! Or was so it seems. totally trashy behaviour and probably involved inappropriately with more likely married men than just being all over my husband.