to be appalled by some women’s behaviour?

[GrumpyOldWoman2]

DH has just come back from a work do at his new job (2 months in) and told me that his female colleague was drunkenly trying to get him alone, trying to hug him and offering to buy him drinks all night. We had a baby 5 weeks ago and she knows this!! He’s extremely loyal and kind (struggles to stand up for himself which bugs me sometimes but…) and kept trying to reject her advances to no avail, he ended up leaving early as she made him so uncomfortable. He came home sober.

Just disappointed for him as it was meant to be a nice break from the newborn trenches! Why are people like this? Trying to get on a married man is bad enough but doing it when you know they’ve JUST had a baby is abhorrent! He’s also dreading going back to work on Tuesday and seeing her. Grim behaviour.

calling ppl pillock is not nice

If a man was doing this to a woman it would be unacceptable. This is also unacceptable when a woman does it to a man and it is clearly unwanted attention, alcohol is not an excuse for poor behaviour. I think he should report her.

I think you need to ask what possible benefit sharing this info achieves

if she did this more than once hopefully she got fired. At every job she did this.

Ridiculous comment. It's harassment, definitely would be if the other way around. He should clear the air with her when sober and tell her he's not interested and that can't happen again or he will report it to HR. It's not far for her creepy behaviour to impact his enjoyment of his job

What a batshit response. The OP’s husband’s reaction to the situation - namely, his discomfort - tells us all we need to know.

My dh and I always talk these things through. It sounds like he needs to practice being more assertive.

Certainly he should not be worried about next week, it’s not his issue! I would hope she might apologise, but if she doesn’t, then he needs to crack on and focus on with his work. I don’t believe it crosses the threshold of sexual harassment but the situation should be monitored.

1. SO many people on this thread don’t seem to have any understanding that this behaviour should be a warning at minimum at most corporate jobs and everywhere I’ve worked.
2. the dh should have been able to say no and go away much more clearly and I’d ask him to think about that.
3. of course he told his wife, you’d hope so. I have woken my husband at 2am to rage about my colleague. Then I spoke to my colleague the next day and hr like a grownup, I can tell my dh and expect support and still stand up for myself.

YANBU. This kind of behaviour wouldn’t be seen as acceptable if it were a man doing it to a woman. The fact alcohol is involved doesn’t excuse it. It’s a shame your husband had to leave the party early and come home, but he did the right thing. Alcohol rarely brings out the best in people and women who use it as an excuse to behave like this are tiresome.

Why are people sticking up for this drunken woman. If it was a man doing it. Woukd be a different story. Being pissed isn't an excuse to touch people who don't want to be touched

Typical mumsnet
Grown ass woman gets drunk and comes onto a married man
Must be the man's fault! 🙄

Good that you believe your husband is irresistible, long may that last with a new baby.

No, completely disagree…trying to sleep with a married man who’s wife gave birth 5 weeks ago is grim, full stop.

Having a few drinks because it’s Christmas is absolutely no excuse. In fact, it infuriates me that a few people, such as yourself, seem to think that drinking at at Christmas absolves you of anything you whilst drunk!

Would it be ok for a man to beat up his wife when he comes home drunk “because it’s Christmas”?

You may be older but, based on your post, you’re definitely not wiser!

I know 😆

Double standards here. Just imagine if this was a man behaving like a drunken leech.

She sounds horrendous. I'd tell your husband it's not his fault and he should forget about it

"trivial or inconsequential news... gossip"?! If this situation genuinely happend and the roles had been reversed with the victim being a woman, it would surely be tantamount to sexual harassment. He wasn't a willing participant. Intoxicated or not, she persistently infringed on his personal space to the extent he felt he had no other choice but to leave the venue. Her behaviour was appalling.

If such a thing had happened to my partner, I would certainly want to know. We are all fallible but the responses of some on here are concerning but also rather indicative of the current appalling moral standards of some in our society (e.g. desensitized and apathetic).

It’s interesting that despite the woman’s behaviour being completely out of order, it’s the man’s supposed non-perfect response that is seized upon by some as the main issue here.

There’s definitely anti-man bias in some posters… I can understand that, many women have been treated badly by the men in their lives… but whatever the underlying reason, it’s still misandry.

It’s the equivalent of a misogynist man blaming a woman for getting sexually harassed because she was wearing a short skirt… but some posters on here are so embittered with men they are blind to their double-standards.

I hope the next time a woman comes on here to say she was sexually harassed by some creep at the office party posters will be telling her it’s her fault for not shutting it down?

Offering to buy someone a drink and requesting a hug is NOT sexual assault or harassment.

Wonen on the whole are on the receiving end of most sexual offences. This is mot a sexual offence. Stop conflating the two.

I see Mumsnet morality has kicked in again. I'd like to say well done that man. And FWIW, he did defend himself - he left the party! That is the best and most effective defence. OP, tell your husband to relax. I expect the femme not-so-bloody fatale will be embarrassed and apologetic on Monday. If she is anything other than this, he should talk to HR.

Repeatedly trying to hug him and get him alone is most definitely sexual harassment, regardless of gender.

He’s got nothing to dread. He did the right thing and I’m sure she’s very grateful to him for that. He saved her from really embarrassing herself.

Can’t believe some of these replies, some are even blaming him for not shutting it down. Imagine saying that to a woman who had to leave a works party due to unwanted attention. Why does the woman get a free pass because she may be lonely or have mental health issues. Men can be lonely or have mental health issues as well. Doesn’t matter what gender you are, you should be able to have a night out without being harassed. He was in a no win situation, if he had to be firm with her to get her to stop he would have been accused of being aggressive. He did the right thing going home. Shame on her.

Maybe she wants a baby - having this kind, happy new father around is just setting her off after a few drinks.